Moosejaw Daily Madness

November 30, 2005

My friend Dave, who came up with the brilliant idea for the orphan reality show, wanted to clear some things up. This is from Dave:

My rationale for why the show isn’t mean is:

For 1 lucky orphan they will go to a great home. For the other 9 orphans they will get great exposure and families will want to adopt them. I feel a little bit like FDR when he rolled out the New Deal. At first it was misunderstood, but it really was bettering society.

If you have no clue what any of this means please check the archived remark from Monday. Or, just ignore everything and go about your day as if I am no part of it. However, seven people recently told me their life is better because of me. That’s not true. Typically, the better you know me the less you like me.

What is the all time biggest movie box office earner in the U.S.? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was four - Alaska, Arizona, Ohio and Alabama.

Have a decent Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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November 29, 2005

I met a lion named Patrick about a week ago. He is spending the entire summer in Positano!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday was a big day for complaints and compliments.

A lot of you were mad about me mentioning the orphanage show and then following it up with the tactfully inappropriate Moosejaw JK line. To those who hate me I thank you.

To everyone who liked the orphanage idea as well as the JK shirts I certainly appreciate the love but stirring things up is more fun.

My friend with the Speedo is officially unsubscribed from the daily remark. I am going to forward this email to him just so he knows about it. If you would like to say anything to the SpeedoBoy please email me and I’ll forward your email to him. He is disliked by everyone.

How many states start and end with the same letter? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Connect Four.

Have the most fantastic Tuesday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 28, 2005

A friend of mine had an idea for a reality show. A group of orphans would go through a series of events and each week one orphan would be eliminated by a nice family until the final show when the nice family would adopt a kid. I’m just a willing messenger.

If you haven’t gotten a JK shirt for yourself or anyone else yet today is the day. Place an order for a JK tee and I’ll add 400 Moosejaw Reward Points to your account. Just shoot me an email five seconds after you place your order with your order number and I’ll take care of everything. It’s for today only though.

Moosejaw Men's JK Camping Tee

Moosejaw Men's JK Whales Tee

Moosejaw Women's JK Whales Tee

Moosejaw Women's JK Camping Tee

What was my favorite board game from ages four to thirteen? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. I’m not sure if this is technically a board game.

Yesterday’s answer was Michigan.

Have an okay Monday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 27, 2005

Not only did someone call me cute Friday night but Saturday in the shop I think a pretty girl asked me out. That’s not true but her mom did. Please enjoy the story…….

I was putting a jacket on hold for the mom and when I asked for her number and email address she said something like “why don’t you take my daughters…she lives in Manhattan but she’ll be home for a week.” I got nervous and said that I had a girlfriend but that my brother is quite handsome and I could have him in the shop for coffee (or caramels) in three minutes.

I didn’t say anything about coffee or caramels but if you can guess what movie I was thinking when I just wrote that I’ll give you nothing. But, that’s the question for today. Please email the movie to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Four other notes…..

1)David S. was in our shop in Birmingham yesterday. He won sexiest voice, deepest voice and the decent softball player award in the mock elections.

2)Everyone hates me.

3)I will be working in the shop again today so it’s another auto-reply day.

4)Two days until my friend with the Speedo is unsubscribed from the remark for being a bad player.

Yesterday’s answer was Indiana, Arizona and Hawaii.

Have the most fantastic Sunday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 26, 2005

How bad would it be to go on a blind date and end up at the same restaurant as your brother? It happened to my sister last night. I was the brother.

A pretty girl told me I was cute. I’m certain something is wrong with her.

My friend with the Speedo hates the Daily Remark. I’m going to unsubscribe him Tuesday.

I haven’t added a song to my ipod since at least September, 2004. They should have a service for that.

I’m hungover. It’s 7am. I’ve already had two Gatorades. It’s not working.

What three states do not use daylights savings time? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

I’ll be working in one of the shops today so it is an auto-reply day. Enjoy!

Yesterday’s answer was Truman.

Have a great Saturday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 25, 2005

The girl’s dad asked me if I wanted to learn to cut the turkey last night. I said no. He asked me if I already knew how to cut the turkey. First I said that I did and then I told him I was just joking and that I hadn’t a clue but felt the world would be a better place if I didn’t hold a knife on Thanksgiving. I’m certain the entire affair has to do with the whole proposal thing. The girl’s dad would kill me in a fight.

Which President started the annual Pardoning of Turkey ceremony? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Jennie-O.

Have the best Friday after Thanksgiving ever and please start buying lots of stuff from Moosejaw.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 24, 2005

Is there anything better than working a half day on Thanksgiving?

Lions are giving three to Atlanta today. Just for fun I’ll be betting Atlanta. Please don’t tell Kwame. Jason Hanson is a Moosejaw customer. Am I allowed to say that?

I didn’t know there was such a thing as cranberry sauce that didn’t come in a can until I had Thanksgiving at the Beyer’s house when I was 21.

I had a bunch of emails yesterday that advised me not to include my potential proposal saga on the daily remark. I also had lots of people that seemed excited about the stories. Excited is the wrong word. I asked the girl about it and she said she liked it so I’m going with it. I have done nothing yet. Please look for more updates soon.

What is the largest producer in the turkey-products industry? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Taft.

Have a decent Thanksgiving.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 23, 2005

Last night I put my ice cream back in the fridge instead of the freezer. It’s the second time I’ve done it. I actually had a little coffee ice cream mixed with a little vanilla. I put the coffee in the freezer and the vanilla in the fridge. It made for a lovely mess to clean up this morning. The girl is finding out about it as she reads the remark today. How fun.

I am considering proposing soon.

Who was the only President to also service as Chief Justice? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Kingda Ka at Six Flags Great America in New Jersey.

Have a fantastic Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 22, 2005

I’m on two a day workouts now. An hour in the morning on the elliptical while I answer your emails and a de-stresser. We call that a de-stresser. I’m trying to get in shape for when we get so busy for Christmas that I can’t work out at all and all two a days might as well have never happened because you can workout everyday for a year and then take two weeks off and when you get back at it, it’s like you’ve never ever worked out in your entire life. Thanks for hearing me out.

Today’s question comes from Lisa…..What roller coaster holds the current records for being both the tallest and the fastest (128 mph) in the world? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was China.

Have the best Tuesday in the history of Tuesdays.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 21, 2005

The Moosejaw Holiday party was last night. Here are some highlights….

Will brought his own pool cue.

A lot of Def Leopard.

Everyone who has worked for three years got an Arcteryx Gamma SV Vest. They got me a large and I need a medium.

I spilled my beer on someone who came in from one of our Chicago shops. She had never met anyone in Michigan before the party. I felt terrible but had to let it go.

I was the worst pool player. Didn’t win a game and didn’t even look good losing.

Indy and Jen were voted tallest best dancers. Right out of Dance Fever.

Jager bombs.

According to Amnesty International what country executes more people than any other? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Have an okay Monday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 20, 2005

Couldn’t have been a better Friday night and Saturday until Michigan lost. Very tough loss.

And I want the rest of you cowboys to know something, there's a new sheriff in town. And his name is Reggie Hammond. So Y'all be cool. Right on.
-Reggie Hammond, 48 Hours

'Cause I'm a karate man, see! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show their weakness.
-Billy Ray Valentine, Trading Places

So, I gotta go to Tibet, because I'm the Chosen One. Why can't anybody choose me to go to the Bahamas?
-Chandler Jarrell, The Golden Child

What movie stars one of the characters from Titanic with one of the characters from Bring It On with one of the characters from The Truman Show with one of the characters from The Lord of the Rings? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Michigan.

Have an amazing Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 19, 2005

I worked at the Ann Arbor shop yesterday afternoon and evening and met nine friends from school in Ann Arbor last night. I would say it was the thirty-second best night of my life

Can’t wait for the game today. Please look for me on TV. The last time Michigan and Ohio State played in Ann Arbor the attendance was 112,118. I’m sure you’ll spot me easily today.

ssb

Michigan and Ohio State first played in 1897. The final score was 34-0. Who won? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

I’m at the game so today is an auto-reply day. Sorry for always ruining everything.

Yesterday’s answer was Venus.

Have a great Saturday and Go Blue.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 18, 2005

Thanks everyone for ordering some of the new JK stuff. I’m not sure why I’m so hell-bent on telling everyone about the shirts. It’s either because I think they’re the best shirts ever or so I could say hell-bent.

The following little vignette is from someone who works at Moosejaw who is at a wedding right now. He didn’t mean for his email to end up here. Oh well.

…..I tried to get out of it but I find myself in a bed and breakfast in North Carolina. There is a lovely hotel down the road but they insisted that we all stay at this B&B. Maybe it will be better when my friends get here but I just went to use the community bathroom and no less than three people asked how my day was. When I gave one word answers I think they were appalled. There is a coffee serving in an hour. My room is locked and if they try to get me out I am going to pretend to be deathly ill. Never let me stay in a B&B again.

Could Marissa be any dumber?

Game day tomorrow.

Another fun planet question….what planet’s surface reaches the hottest temperature? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was earth.

Have the best Friday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 17, 2005

We have the best new shirts ever on the site. It’s the new Moosejaw JK line (just kidding). Someone at Moosejaw described them best as typically inappropriate. Please use the zoom feature on the site to dig in and see what the shirts are all about.

Moosejaw Men's JK Camping Tee

Moosejaw Men's JK Whales Tee

Moosejaw Women's JK Whales Tee

Moosejaw Women's JK Camping Tee

Which planet in our solar system is most dense? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Two days until game day.

Yesterday’s answer was hydrogen.

Have an amazing Thursday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 16, 2005

Three days until Michigan-Ohio State. In addition to Michigan beating Ohio State we also need Michigan State to beat Penn St. I think it’s going to happen. No really, I do.

Some notes about the game….

It’s supposed to be freezing on Saturday. I will be dressed as warmly as anyone climbing Everest.

I’m meeting ten friends from college in Ann Arbor Friday night. We’re all staying in one hotel room. It won’t be fun at all. If you’re at Rick’s Friday night I’ll be the one playing pool or standing in a corner with a blue Moosejaw hat on. If you see me please avoid me.

Those are all my notes. ssb

Apparently there was a typo on the remark yesterday. I did it on purpose to make everything a little more interesting. What’s the most common element in the universe? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. How fun!

Yesterday’s answer was the Czech Republic.

Have an amazing Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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November 15, 2005

Will you please tell your friends to buy some stuff today? Here’s how I’m thinking that it will be worthwhile….

After a friend places an order over $20 shoot me an email with his/her order number and email address and I’ll add 250 Moosejaw Reward points for you and 250 Moosejaw points for your friend.

Some other notes…

I suppose if you place an order yourself today I’ll give you all 500 Moosejaw points.

It doesn’t have to be a friend. Please feel free to tell an enemy.

This is for today only so please don’t email about it in a week. Sorry for being so mean about it.

Four days until Michigan-Ohio State.

According to my people what country consumes the most beer per capita? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the avocado.

Have an okay Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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November 14, 2005

We spent the entire day yesterday at work talking about a Moosejaw dance. More specifically, we talked about a Snowball. We set up a full fake dance based on a couple here who are already B and G starting the snowball and then we determined who would be choosing who for the rest of the Snowball. I am looking at being chosen about twelfth. I was considering doing some lobbying to be chosen as high as fourth but then I realized that I’d have to dance the whole time. Now, I’m considering doing everything possible to make people not like me so that I’m never chosen. I like the word twelfth.

According to my people what’s the most nutritive fruit? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Nutritive. Twelfth.

Yesterday’s answer was the Royal Tennenbaums.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 13, 2005

Just for fun I bet a five team parlay yesterday. Four of the five games were money line games. The payout was bet $10 to win $1,800 worth of fun. It hit on four of the five games. I happened to have lost the fourth game and not the fifth so it wasn’t the most fun I’ve had in my life but it was close. I was also not watching any of it on TV so I ended up emailing a friend who also made the same bet for fun on my blackberry all day which annoyed everyone around me. If you have no idea what this means just let it go. I don’t want my gambling habits to rub off on anyone. I just do it for fun but most people don’t have my kind of restraint.

What movie starred one the of the main characters from Old School with one of the main characters from Prizzi’s Honor with one of the main characters from Lethal Weapon with one of the main characters from Stripes? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. This happens to be one of my favorite all time movies.

Yesterday’s answer was Yes, I did go to the game.

Have the best Sunday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 11, 2005

I don’t like the OC anymore but I still watch it. Marissa is too skinny and Sandy gives hope to all of us with thick eye brows.

Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
Joe: By choice, man.
-Say Anything

What NBA team has won the most NBA titles? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Have the best Friday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 10, 2005

Best day of my life yesterday. Shift F3 makes everything all caps. Thanks everyone for chiming in. It’s the first time I’ve ever learned anything.

I had to call the Moosejaw internet attorney yesterday to find out if we could set up betting lines at Moosejaw.com and give customers deals on gear for winning their bets. We can’t do it. The only good part of the entire interaction with the attorney was that Moosejaw has apparently spent tons of money researching whether or not we could use a Hasselhoff picture in our catalog. We couldn’t do that either. ssb.

I worked in the Ann Arbor shop for a bit yesterday. I was named fourth best-looking in the staff shop mock elections. What’s mock about a mock election? If you’re anywhere near Ann Arbor please swing by and also tell forty-two friends about the new shop.

Yesterday I showered in the morning before work and then again after I ran in the evening. Did I wash my hair after the morning shower only, after the evening shower or after both showers? This is very important. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Disney World Tokyo.

Have a decent Thursday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 9, 2005

Why can’t you highlight a sentence and change it to all caps or all lower case? You can change things to bold, underlined, etc, but for caps or lower, you have to rewrite it. Who do we call?

I got a wireless earpiece. I look like a fool. I’ll never use it again but it will look great on the counter at home.

My keyboard is dirtier than any keyboard in the world but I don’t want a new one. Can I get it dry cleaned?

I watched Usual Suspects last night. It gets no better.

The Ann Arbor shop opens today for real. I will be there. Who cares?

What’s the most visited theme park in the world? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was bamboo.

Have the best Wednesday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 8, 2005

The Moosejaw in Ann Arbor is opening any second. Because Ann Arbor is my favorite place in the world, I hope to be spending lots of time in the shop. I have not thought of a good reason yet. If you go to Michigan please swing by the shop but don’t ask for me. In fact, please pretend I’m dead.

Please note, I say please note quite frequently. Also, please note the first song played when any Moosejaw shop is opened since the first Moosejaw was opened in 1992 is Growing Up by Bruce. Please click below for the lyrics if you’re bored.

http://www.xs4all.nl/~maroen/engels/lyrics/growingu.htm

What’s the fastest growing plant? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Thriller.

Have a lovely Tuesday. Lovely.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 7, 2005

I am still wearing sandals everyday. They don’t smell all that good so the girl made me clean them up. First, I dumped Purell all over the sandals, then I put the sandals in the dishwasher and finally put the sandals in the washer and dryer. It worked okay but not great. Please note, I wear the same sandals whether I’m on the beach or at a fancy event. No one likes me already so it doesn’t really matter if I’m inappropriate.

I knew a clown named Inappropriate Radielo. His real name is Steve Smith. He didn’t care if he entertained anyone or not – he just wanted the prestige of the clown outfit. A green wig instead of a red wig, a red nose and typical floppy shoes. Inappropriate Radielo was working with a group of aspiring jewel thieves (doing some team building events) when he whipped a blueberry muffin at a passerby named Cricket Van Lurie. CVL was fond of blueberry muffins but certainly didn’t liked one whipped at him by a clown with a green wig. A red wig maybe but not green. I’m bored of this story now.

The Ann Arbor Moosejaw should open tomorrow!

ssb

What’s the best-selling album of all time? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. Please note that Lindsay got this one right.

Yesterday’s answer was England.

Have a decent Monday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 6, 2005

I saw Capote last night. I would say very good. In fact, I did just say it. Here it is again – very good. No Cabin Boy, mind you but still, it was very good.

My eighth grade history teacher told the class to avoid using the words “thing” and “very.” I’m not sure why but he was scary so I have avoided using both words from eighth grade until the previous note about Capote.

When I picked up lunch at Red Hots in Ann Arbor yesterday I saw a girl from college who was super pretty back in the day. We all (the boys) talked about her constantly for four years. She was just as pretty yesterday as she was in college and I hid from her every bit as much yesterday as I did in college. I proceeded to talk about her all day Saturday.

The Ann Arbor Moosejaw is awesome. We should be open in a couple days. I don’t really get it but the landlord had to cordon off part of the basement to meet all the Ann Arbor codes. It looks like a little scary cage that is a perfect spot for the gimp.

I find nothing more disturbing than the rat scene in 1984 except for the gimp scene in Pulp Fiction. Maybe the ear scene in Reservoir Dogs. Perhaps the entire movie Seven too.

Was Olivia Newton John born in the US, England or Australia? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Today is a scheduled auto-reply day. Please enjoy it!

Have the best Sunday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 5, 2005

Beyond its entertainment value, "Baywatch" has enriched and, in many cases, helped save lives. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to continue with a project which has had such a significance for so many.
-David Hasselhoff

Who won the World Middleweight Karate Championship seven times before entering the entertainment business? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the blue whale.

Have the best Saturday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 4, 2005

I was at the dentist yesterday and a lady in the waiting room was furious that there was a TV on. She asked someone behind the counter to turn the TV off because she thought it was negative propaganda. I have no idea what she was referring to. When no one from behind the counter would help her she got up on a chair and turned off the TV herself. I happen to have been enjoying the TV but not nearly as much as watching the lady pitch a fit. If I was the dentist I would have told her she had at least ten cavities.

Supposedly, the following question comes from someone who is related to the answer. Who is the youngest person to appear in the finals of one of tennis’ grand slams? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the blue whale.

Have the best Friday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 3, 2005

I’m sure you’re every bit as excited as me that Piston’s season has started again. Please enjoy the following NBA notes…

I stepped on Robert Parish’s hand once when he was in a whirlpool.

There’s a picture of Scott Pollard in a Moosejaw shirt in one of our shops.

I’ve been eating a granola, Lucky Charms cereal mix lately in the morning.

Some of the Spurs went to Moosejaw during the Finals last year.

Ben Wallace could take everyone who works Moosejaw customer service in a fight at once. Does that make sense?

My brother is a better basketball player than me but I’d beat him in one on one.

The shower was redone in my house and I used it for the first time this morning. I was naked.

According to my people what is the largest animal to have ever lived? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Iraq.

Have a decent Thursday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 2, 2005

The girl who sits a few chairs away from me at Moosejaw’s dad was at a charity event last night or maybe the night before or something like that. The dad won a car in a raffle. The car he won couldn’t be any better and is worthy of an entire daily remark. I’m too full of self-import don’t you think? Check out the car:

http://www.wrenfields.com

The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World are or were located in four countries….Egypt, Greece, Turkey and what other country? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was The Olsen Twins and John Cusak.

Have an outstanding Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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November 1, 2005

Welcome to November. I had an outstanding Halloween. I went to a soiree at the girl’s sisters with lots of cute screaming babies. I got yelled at for forgetting to bring extra chairs for dinner. No beer was served. Then, I came home and gave out candy. I felt so bad for the kids that were trick or treating by themselves that I ate seven thousand candy corns and skipped dinner. I just bet for fun and I bet all my fun on the Ravens moneyline last night and lost. I have never hated myself more. I can’t stand that I said welcome to November too.

Today’s question is compliments of Little Scout whose section on the site got taken down because of that other thing. Who would win in a fight…..Julia Roberts and Nicholas Cage against The Olsen Twins and John Cusak? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was your hands.

Have the greatest Tuesday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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