Monday, August 31, 2009
I went for a long run with my brother’s friend yesterday. Long runs are dumb. The friend has two kids. They’re boys and one is four and one is two. When I walked in the house both of the kids started hitting me and everyone just laughed. I wasn’t sure what to do so I gave both kids some of the Gu energy stuff I had with me and then my friend’s wife got really mad at me and wasn’t joking and asked me if I was crazy and told me to leave her house.
The Gu part of the story is made up but the rest of the story is true . The story would have been really, really boring without the Gu part.
Section Three.
How many ways are there to make change for a dollar? 293, 346 or 419? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was hydrogen.
Have a better than average Monday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
The Gu part of the story is made up but the rest of the story is true . The story would have been really, really boring without the Gu part.
Section Three.
How many ways are there to make change for a dollar? 293, 346 or 419? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was hydrogen.
Have a better than average Monday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, August 30, 2009
I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?
-Jason Bourne, The Bourne Identity
What element makes up 70% of the sun? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for three quotes from other Matt Damon movies. Yesterday’s answer was seaweed.
Have a terrible Sunday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
-Jason Bourne, The Bourne Identity
What element makes up 70% of the sun? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for three quotes from other Matt Damon movies. Yesterday’s answer was seaweed.
Have a terrible Sunday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I am picking up a girl that I kissed about ten years ago at the airport today. If I don’t kiss her tonight it’ll be a total waste of a trip. She doesn’t read the Daily Remark. If any of her friends are reading this please don’t tell her I said all this.
Agar-Agar is also known as what? This could be the hardest question ever. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Colorado.
Have a decent Saturday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Agar-Agar is also known as what? This could be the hardest question ever. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Colorado.
Have a decent Saturday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, August 28, 2009
The Girl called me last night. It was the first time I’ve talked to her in probably two months. She called to tell me that she saw a psychic and the psychic said all sorts of great stuff about me. I can’t stand everyone.
What US State has the most days of sunshine- California, Florida or Colorado? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was a shark.
Have a great Friday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What US State has the most days of sunshine- California, Florida or Colorado? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was a shark.
Have a great Friday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I’m meeting a penguin named Rodo for dinner this evening. I’ve already requested that Rodo not bring any friends, that he wear red shoes and that neither of us shall eat anything that begins with the letter T. Am I being too demanding? Perhaps... but that’s what happens when you like office supplies so much.
What is the only fish that can blink with both eyes? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was fencing.
Have a terrible Thursday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What is the only fish that can blink with both eyes? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was fencing.
Have a terrible Thursday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I’m going out of town this coming Monday and I’m leaving pretty early in the morning. So, I think I’ll take the garbage out Sunday night. I’ll have to find someone to bring the garbage in on Tuesday. I’m thinking about turning it into some sort of contest. Think about what an honor it would be to win. Or maybe I’ll just throw it out to ten friends and the person that gets to my house first after the garbage people take the garbage will get to bring the empty cans back to the house. Needless to say, this is super exciting.
What was Neil Diamond’s scholarship for while attending NYU? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was South Dakota.
Have a fantastic Wednesday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What was Neil Diamond’s scholarship for while attending NYU? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was South Dakota.
Have a fantastic Wednesday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
I got pulled over yesterday and I wasn’t wearing a shirt. When the policeman came to my window and asked why I thought I got pulled over I said because I wasn’t wearing a shirt. The policeman didn’t like me and gave me a ticket for going ten over. I think getting the ticket is a really good sign and that I’m going to have the best week ever because of it. You probably will too.
Where did the Battle of Wounded Knee take place? When I say where, I mean what US state. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Taft.
Have a good Tuesday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Where did the Battle of Wounded Knee take place? When I say where, I mean what US state. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Taft.
Have a good Tuesday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, August 24, 2009
I used to be able to spend so much time talking about me and The Girl. Then, I spent so much time talking about me not being with The Girl and other girls. Now, I pretty much have nothing. The upside is that I have nothing. Okay. That’s all.
Which US President is credited with starting baseball's seventh inning stretch? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Venus.
Have a great Monday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Which US President is credited with starting baseball's seventh inning stretch? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Venus.
Have a great Monday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Stu Price: We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?
Alan Garner: I think the cop car part's pretty cool.
-The Hangover
What is the only planet that rotates clockwise? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was San Jose.
Have a terrible Sunday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Alan Garner: I think the cop car part's pretty cool.
-The Hangover
What is the only planet that rotates clockwise? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was San Jose.
Have a terrible Sunday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I ate an entire carton of vanilla ice cream last night. I ate about three quarters of it without realizing it and then decided to finish it just so I could mention it here. The things I do for a little attention. I will mention it to my analyst on Monday.
Which planet has the highest mountain in the solar system? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Lake Michigan.
Have a decent Saturday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Which planet has the highest mountain in the solar system? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Lake Michigan.
Have a decent Saturday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, August 14, 2009
Eu nunca usei uma guarda-chuva antes.
Which planet has the highest mountain in the solar system? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was West Virginia’s New River Gorge.
Have a great Friday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Which planet has the highest mountain in the solar system? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was West Virginia’s New River Gorge.
Have a great Friday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, August 13, 2009
They asked me to say hi to the following people today. As far as I know I’ve never seen any of these people but I’m hoping to be listing them by height.
Where is the world's largest single arch bridge? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for three stories about bridges. Maybe four. Yesterday’s answer was 26.
Have an alright Thursday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
- Bill N.
- Peter D.
- Jeff Z.
- Brian A.
- Warren M.
- Angel G.
Where is the world's largest single arch bridge? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for three stories about bridges. Maybe four. Yesterday’s answer was 26.
Have an alright Thursday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I’m going bowling tonight for the first time in at least five years. I predict I bowl an average of 159 and that I get in trouble with the bowling alley people one time. I think I’ll lose two bets against my friends and then win my money back in pool, then forget my hat at the bowling alley and not be able to sleep because the bowling alley closed and I have to wait till the next day to check on the hat. This is already bothering me so I think I’ll cancel the bowling and do nothing instead.
How many times did Thriller go platinum? 16, 26 or 36? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Wings.
Have a decent Wednesday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
How many times did Thriller go platinum? 16, 26 or 36? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Wings.
Have a decent Wednesday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I have nothing to say today. You probably shouldn’t either.
What movie won the first Academy Award for Best Picture? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Sumeria.
Have the best Tuesday ever.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What movie won the first Academy Award for Best Picture? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Sumeria.
Have the best Tuesday ever.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, August 10, 2009
We have the fourteenth best contest ever this month. Please click here to check it out. Then try to spend a little bit of time considering the mouth piece I have to sleep with every night. Do I really need it for some medical reason or is it more like a security blanket? I’ll be discussing it with my analyst too so we can all compare notes.
Where was the first record of human written language found? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was JFK.
Have a decent Monday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Where was the first record of human written language found? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was JFK.
Have a decent Monday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, August 09, 2009
But, the real excitement of course is going to come at the end of the summer, during Sexual Awareness week. We import two hundred hookers from around the world, and each camper, armed with only a thermos of coffee and two thousand dollars cash, tries to visit as many countries as he can. The winner of course is named King of Sexual Awareness week and is allowed to rape and pillage the neighboring towns until camp ends.
-Tripper, Meatballs
Who is the only US President to have a child while in office? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply that will include three quotes from said president. Yesterday’s answer was Alexandria, VA.
Have a decent Sunday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
-Tripper, Meatballs
Who is the only US President to have a child while in office? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply that will include three quotes from said president. Yesterday’s answer was Alexandria, VA.
Have a decent Sunday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, August 08, 2009
I went out with a bunch of people for dinner last night. There were about ten of us at a circular table and you could pretty much see down one of the girls shirts at the table the entire dinner. I really didn’t know what to do so I texted one of the other girls about it while we were sitting at the table and she said the down the shirt girl probably liked it but that she was on it. Then I got uncomfortable and went to the bar for about ten minutes and then I got back and we all talked about it and I looked like a hero and before the night was over I frenched the girl that I texted. Okay. Love you.
What is the wealthiest city in the U.S.? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Hitler.
Have a great Saturday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What is the wealthiest city in the U.S.? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Hitler.
Have a great Saturday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, August 07, 2009
If it’s not your birthday today you get 100 Moosejaw Points. Please click here and the points will be donesville. Just 100 per human person please. Okay. That’s all.
Who was Time Magazine’s man of the year in 1938? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Abu Dhabi.
Have a decent Friday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Who was Time Magazine’s man of the year in 1938? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Abu Dhabi.
Have a decent Friday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, August 06, 2009
- I was up super late last night playing Hold ‘Em. I lost $40 but I was still the best player.
- I had to give my dog a shot this morning and he didn’t die.
- Please ignore this line.
- Please ignore this one too.
Have a good Thursday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
I went to dinner last night and someone started talking about a seesaw. I couldn’t remember what a seesaw was and I was embarrassed to say anything so I waited until I got home and looked it up. I hope you don’t remember what it was either. Okay. That’s all.
Who was the first woman inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Bahrain.
Have a pretty good Wednesday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Who was the first woman inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Bahrain.
Have a pretty good Wednesday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
- A kid called me Sir yesterday. What a disaster.
- No girls like me right now.
- Lately, I feel like my hair has been manageable enough but just not even close to sexy. We’ve all got to learn to flip that.
What is the only island country in the Middle East? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Martin Van Buren.
Have a decent Tuesday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, August 03, 2009
At the risk of sounding braggadocios I don’t think anyone could be better at sensing their Blackberry vibrating than me. I can feel it about two miles away. Really I just wanted to say braggadocios.
Who was the first president to be born in the United States? When I say United States, I mean that it was an established country at that point. Glad we cleared that up. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was The Incredibles.
Have a terrible Monday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Who was the first president to be born in the United States? When I say United States, I mean that it was an established country at that point. Glad we cleared that up. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was The Incredibles.
Have a terrible Monday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Royal: I thought I'd start by taking you out to visit your grandmother.
Richie: God, I haven't been out there in years.
Margot: I've never been at all. I was never invited.
Royal: Well she wasn't your real grandmother, and I didn't know how much interest you had. But you're invited now.
-The Royal Tenenbaums
What was the first movie by Pixar to receive a rating higher than G in the United States? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for quotes from only R rated movies. Yesterday’s answer was 7,000.
Have a decent Sunday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Richie: God, I haven't been out there in years.
Margot: I've never been at all. I was never invited.
Royal: Well she wasn't your real grandmother, and I didn't know how much interest you had. But you're invited now.
-The Royal Tenenbaums
What was the first movie by Pixar to receive a rating higher than G in the United States? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for quotes from only R rated movies. Yesterday’s answer was 7,000.
Have a decent Sunday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Someone at the coffee shop this morning kept calling ‘guy.’ It was an awful way to start a Saturday.
According to my people, approximately how many islands make up the Philippines- 5 thousand, 7 thousand or 10 thousand? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was The Cure for Insomnia.
Have a good Saturday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
According to my people, approximately how many islands make up the Philippines- 5 thousand, 7 thousand or 10 thousand? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was The Cure for Insomnia.
Have a good Saturday.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
