Moosejaw Daily Madness

• Emergency… I am switching from a tall to a shorty. Same drink but in a smaller cup.


• We have a Buy 2 Suunto T1 Watches and Get a Third One Free going right now. If you need to get three really good presents now is the time and I’m not just saying it to exploit the world. Click here and scroll down on the home page to check it out. Or don’t.


• I’m playing cards tonight. I hope I lose $40.


• When I was little I introduced a spider to an ant. They’re still friends.


• Bullet point.

Boston defeated what team in the first World Series? Today is the last auto-reply of November. So, in addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from baseball players and one quote from Georgia O’Keefe. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Georgia.

Have the best Friday ever.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have a pool table in our new office/warehouse place. I hope I get fired for playing too often. But, I hope that I get so good at pool that I go on tour. I see myself getting to the finals of the Vegas International and losing and then becoming some sort of misanthrope and The Girl breaking up with me and then me asking for my job back at Moosejaw and not getting rehired because everything is worse without me and people prefer to be miserable. Please note that I made up the Vegas International and I’m not positive what misanthrope means.

The League of Nations of was established at the end of what war? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Madeline Albright.

Have the fifteenth best Wednesday of the month.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The Girl and I went to see the Darjeeling movie last night but we got the time wrong and ended up seeing Lars and the Real Girl instead. It was really good and I think that if you scrolled through the Remark files you keep handy for preparing to stalk me Taxi Driver-style you’ll find that I haven’t liked a movie since Memento. That’s not true…I liked Thank You For Smoking too. See the remark from May 2, 2006 for more info. I picture that remark posted in some scary closet with a tear through it like Malkovich in In the Line of Fire.

I am keeping the remark short today because Section 3 is coming over for dinner and will apparently be spending the entire day working on an outfit.

Which member of Bill Clinton’s cabinet was born in Prague? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Bill Bob Thornton.

Have a relatively decent Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

• We’re doing Buy 3 Get 1 Free on Moosejaw stuff today. Click here to check it out if you’re bored. Just add four Moosejaw items to your cart and the least expensive will be plain old Free.
• I take off my watch when I type.
• I started reading Colbert’s new book. It is funny. He takes most of his material from Moosejaw…even the stuff he thought of first.
• Moosejaw stuff means Moosejaw hoodies, tees, hats, etc. Please re-read bullet point one if you have no clue what I’m talking about.

What Hollywood actor owns a production company with Dwight Yoakam? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from country singers and one quote from someone named Stephen. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was James Buchanon.

Have the best Monday ever. Really.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We must not confuse dissent from disloyalty. We must remember always, that accusation is not proof, and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law. We will not walk in fear, one of another, we will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason.
-Edward R. Murrow, Goodnight and Goodluck

Who was the only US President to never have been married? I thought I had asked this question before but I can’t find it anywhere. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from presidents and one quote from Captain Kangaroo. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was a medusa.

Have an alright Sunday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I watched the Oprah’s Best Gift show with The Girl last night. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I really thought someone in the audience was going to die. I didn’t want anyone to die but I would have liked to have seen multiple people pass out and the tv audience think they were dead but then they really wouldn’t be dead. It would be like Jonestown. The notion that everyone buys everything that Oprah pitches is both bothersome and comforting at the same time. No one likes me.

What’s the name of an adult jellyfish? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from Jacques Cousteau and one quote from Steve Zissou. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Shaq.

Have the eleventh best Saturday of your life.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

At Thanksgiving dinner last night I learned the following…

1. Apple juice was invented before the apple.
2. Americans abroad celebrate Thanksgiving counter-clockwise.
3. The Pilgrims washed their hair no less than nine times a day.

Today is supposed to be the busiest shopping day of the year. Unless you’re getting someone an iPhone, iPod or iPad you should really get them something at Moosejaw.

ssb

Who was the most recent NBA player to lead the league in scoring for two different teams? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from tall presidents and one quote from the movie Friday Night Lights. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.comfor this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was pink.

Have an okay Friday but an amazing day after Thanksgiving.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

• 
  I am super pleased to bring you my annual two line Thanksgiving Day poem. This will be the first annual though. Enjoy it…

I want to know about the wind.
Does it stare back at me when I’m thinking?

• 
  
  As always, if anyone gets a yam anywhere near my plate tonight I am going to pitch a fit.
• 
  I hope almost everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Really.

In The Big Lebowski what was the color of Jon Turturro’s bowling ball? Today is a special Thanksgiving Day auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include one quote from Fletch, one from Training Day, one from Godfather and one from Beaches. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.comfor this riveting Thanksgiving auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was $20 bills.

Have the best Thanksgiving ever. Really.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The garbage men now pick up the garbage way before I leave for work Wednesday mornings. This is a disaster because I spend the entire night Tuesday consumed by the notion of having to bring the empty garbages back to the side of the house before I leave for work. It is way better to worry about bringing the empty garbages in all day Wednesday instead of all night Tuesday. I will be calling the mayor now to try to get this changed up but, assuming I’m unsuccessful, please prepare for some sort of protest march.

I just read the previous paragraph. I think it’s hard to follow but I am going to leave it as is in light of Thanksgiving.

If only there was a bullet point here.

In The Big Lebowski, Jeffrey Lebowski was to pay Bunny’s $1,000,000 ransom in what dollar increments? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Leum.

Have the best Wednesday of your life.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

• Since I started the Remark four years ago I have mentioned Mandy Moore 3 times and Fast Times 7 times. I have mentioned the garbage 106 times. I actually counted. Now 107.



• I’m listening to I Write the Songs by Barry Manilow right now.



• Someone told me my hair looked greasy. Here’s what I said back…”It’s wet.”



• With Thanksgiving merely two days away I want to make sure everyone knows that it is family and love that makes us thrive, not acorn squash. So, if there is any squash or even anything that resembles squash at your Thanksgiving dinner take a handful and whip it at an uncle or grandpa…it is THE most respect one can give.



• Bullet point.

What was Jon Turturro’s bowling partner’s name in The Big Lebowski? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was The Riddlers.

Have a pretty good Tuesday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Today is supposed to be the biggest shopping day of the year so far. I’m pretty sure etailers say that over and over so eventually it actually becomes true. So, in an effort to watch out for the people, if you buy any Moosejaw hoody today I’ll add 422 Moosejaw points to your account. Please click I’m getting a facelift for Christmas to check out all the hoodies. Five seconds after you place your order email me with your order number and I’ll solve everything. It’s 422 per human person.

David Letterman was a host of what game show? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from game show hosts and one quote from Margaret Thatcher. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply. Also, even though it’s an auto-reply day I’ll still add your points if you order a Moosejaw hoody. So, unless you hear back from me about some problem assume everything is done and done and done and done.

Yesterday’s answer was Zimbabwe.

Have the best Monday of your life and I’m completely over the torturous Michigan loss on Saturday and I’m living in denial and not talking about it.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Winifred Ames: So when we touch down tomorrow, Big Bird is going to meet Schumann at the airport, huh?
Stanley Motss: Big mistake, big mistake. You gotta bring them in by stages. Big mistake to reveal Schumann before the election.
Winifred Ames: How so?
Stanley Motss: Sweetheart, Schumann is the shark. Okay? Schumann is Jaws, you know? You have to tease them. You gotta tease them. You don't put Jaws in the first real of the movie. It's the contract, sweetheart. The contract of the election, whether they know it or not, is "Vote for me Tuesday, Wednesday I'll produce Schumann." See, that's what they're paying their seven bucks for.
-Wag the Dog

What country did Southern Rhodesia become? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from people who were never boys. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was the ostrich.

Have the best Sunday ever please.

Love the Madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Michigan-Ohio State tomorrow. In an effort to be as inappropriate as possible I am including a link to the video my friend took when we were at Ohio State for the game last year. Please click through at your own risk or something like that… http://www.moosejaw.com/moosejaw/assets/images/Video_111806_003.3g2

The only royal palace in the US is located in what state? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from people who have never driven a car. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was France.

Have an okay Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

• We hired lots more people at Moosejaw and I had to temporarily give up my phone. I will never talk to anyone again. Hi mime.


• My keyboard stops working about three times a day and I have to restart my computer.


• We have no pretzels at our house right now. It’s bad.


• My lunch today requires a knife and I don’t have one.


• Dear bullet points, Welcome back.


• ssb

Betty Davis was in what country when she died? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Fraunhofer Gesellschaft.

Have the best Thursday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Emergency… I never think anything is funny but our ad inside the buses in Chicago is funny. Please click The CTA Is For Sure Going To Remove This to check it. The look on the people’s faces is way better than our ad.

According to my people, what company invented the MP3? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Taylor Hicks.

Have the best Wednesday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have a kick ass design a snowboard contest going. Sorry about that whole kick ass thing. It hasn’t been launched on the site yet so you are the first person to see it. Not you as in you but you as in the nine people still signed up for the remark. Please click Big Deal to check it out.

Please click here to check out the Moosejaw catalog online. I am including this in the Daily Remark every day until you click on it. Really.

Whose fans called themselves the Soul Patrol? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was zero.

Have a decent Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Emergency… the new catalog is out and it’s the best catalog ever and I am not just saying it. Please click There is a Grammatical Error on page 3 to check it out.

How many people have graced the cover of a US stamp while they were alive? I am a person. Today is another auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes by people who are pretty good dancers. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Mark Aguire.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Okay, now you're talking above my head. I don't know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP. All I know is that I can't get a record contract, we cannot get a record contract unless we take those tapes to the record company. And granted, the tapes themselves are a uh um oh, you own them, all right, but the magic that is on those tapes. That heart and soul that we put onto those tapes, that is ours and you don't own that. Now I need to take that magic and get it over the record company. And they're waiting for us, we were supposed to be there a half hour ago.
-Reed, Boogie Nights

When Isiah Thomas was drafted in the NBA he was the second player taken in the draft. Who was first? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from some hoopsters. Sorry for saying hoopsters. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Frank Sinatra.

Have an okay Sunday.

Love the Madness
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I saw In the Valley of Elah last night. I am pretty sure it’s the first movie I’ve seen in the theater this year. I couldn’t have had a worse seat in the theater and I couldn’t have been hotter. I immediately took my shoes and socks off which the lady next to me didn’t particularly appreciate and everyone was mean to me when I had to leave to get more water on multiple occasions. The movie was good but super depressing. Just goes to show there is little reason to ever leave the house.

Michigan at Wisconsin today. Should be the best day ever.

Section three...a little something for the people.

Who won the first Grammy for best album cover? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from people who are more likely to be Grammies than me or my brother. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this riveting auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Have a phenomenal Saturday. Really.

Love the Madness
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Someone just emailed this pic of Ryan Secrest in a little Moosejaw. Click Please Pass the Acorn Squash to check it out.

We are super excited to announce that the rest of the remark today is a guest remark day. Today’s guest remark comes from Francis in Chicago. Fran did a short stint in Jackson prison in Michigan so many of you may know him. Here we go...

My friend's wife made this great meal. She asked if I wanted to take some home. It was so good I wanted to but she was going to put in tuperware and wanted the tuperware back. I said no if I had to return the tuperware. I then offered her $20 if I didn't have to return it. She said no and doesn’t like me.

Who was the first Supreme Commander of NATO? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from people named Winston, Mark, Plato or Albert. Please email me Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Burr.

Have a decent Friday please.

Love the Madness
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

“Goodnight Takashi.”

Did Burr challenge Hamilton to their duel or did Hamilton challenge Burr? It is ye’ ol’ who challenged whom of duels inquiry. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was four…John Jay, John Rutledge, William Cushing and Oliver Ellsworth.

Have the best Thursday ever.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

If you haven’t seen the Mountain Hardwear two Monkey jacket giveaway thing we’re doing this month definitely click through to check it out. It’s a real contest like a real company does it and each individual day is a contest so you have lots of chances to win and I am making none of this up.

When you’re bored and need stuff for your iPod or don’t need stuff for your iPod or just want to see a decent pic please click here.

This section is for cats. Please place your calico on your keyboard as soon as possible. Hi cat.

How many Chief Justices of the Supreme Court served under Washington…George Washington? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Sicily.

Have an okay Wednesday please.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have the best contest ever this month. Please click I am definitely not clicking through to check it out. This is true. A girl I know made her boyfriend dinner and she thought she was making potatoes but she made kiwi. Its not like she put the kiwi in by accident…she thought the kiwis were potatoes. I feel like I’ve never told a story like this before…certainly not with so much vigor. Section Three.

To prepare for his role in Godfather II where did Robert De Niro live? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Richard II.

Have the best Tuesday of your life.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We played cards last night. I lost but I was still the best player. I lost to a flush on the river to someone who had no idea they had a flush. I don’t think hearing about people’s card games is nearly as bad as having to hear about someone’s dream but I can see how a human might. More importantly, by far the best part of the night is that we threw out cards before we started and agreed that the person who had the lowest card couldn’t talk all night. The penalty for talking was $10 to the pot. It worked out great and we will never play any other way. That’s all.

Who was the first English monarch to abdicate this thrown? Fortunately today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from people not named Charles or Henry. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was IRS.gov.

Have an amazing Monday please.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter.

-Lester Bangs, Almost Famous

What US government web site gets more monthly unique visitors than any other? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from presidents who I never saw in shorts. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important work.

Yesterday’s answer was Ted Williams.

Have the best rest of Sunday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The cap on the gas tank of my car doesn’t work. It doesn’t screw on right. I assume I’ll run out of gas and then never use the car again. I will for sure never get it fixed.

Per the remark yesterday I went on my first diet. I would say that yesterday I looked like Hasselhoff and now I look more like Luke Perry. It is all due to cutting my avocado intake in half.

There was an iguana in our store in Chicago. It’s a true story. It even made the news.

Big Michigan game today.

ssb

Who was the last major league baseball player to hit .400? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today’s auto-reply will include one quote from Joyce, one from a baseball player and one quote from someone with curly hair. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was the Coliseum.

Have a decent Saturday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I can’t recall the last time I weighed myself but I feel like I gained weight. I must be retaining water. I don’t even know what that means but I feel like I heard it in a movie. Please hold…hellip;. Okay, I’m back. I Googled Retaining Water and came up with no movie. I also went to imdb.com…hellip;nothing.

Here are some movies I’ve never seen so please assume the line doesn’t come from one of these movies…hellip;Babel, Superbad, Knocked Up, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Requiem for a Dream, Hotel Rwanda, Donnie Darko.

I feel like its Chevy Chase or Steve Martin saying it but that could be way off.

This is ruining my day. I don’t hope it ruins your day but I’m okay if your day is a little bit worse because of it.

Today, the Flavian Amphitheatre is better known as what? If you look this up you’ll get it in five seconds but I missed it so I am forced to ask it. When I missed it I decided to not like myself for the rest of the day. Please consider that when you answer the question. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was India. The cities were Mumbai and Delhi.

Have the best Thursday ever. Really.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I sat in on a Moosejaw design squad meeting yesterday. I ended up being the model for everything we don’t want our shirts to look like. Sloppy, unkempt, blousy and draped were thrown my way most of the day. At least I got lots of attention and I didn’t know what half the words meant so I took almost everything as a compliment. That’s all. And, welcome to November. Now that’s all.

Is the bald eagle an endangered species? I am forced to ask this because I missed it. I don’t think that’s any sort of hint. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was India. The cities were Mumbai and Delhi.

Have the best Thursday ever. Really.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com