Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Please enjoy a guest daily remark from someone who preferred to remain anonymous. We will call him or her Anon. It was a boy and I’m guessing the friend referred to below was really Anon himself and no friend at all.
A friend of mine had too many tickets and had to go to driving school Saturday from 8-2. Although no electronics were allowed in the room here are four emails he sent about the event:
1. This is awful. 20 degenerates sitting the basement of a church.
2. This is a sad state of affairs on the world.
3. I just took a test with the dumbest questions you could imagine. The lady in charge is awful and on a crazy powertrip. I am trying to figure out a way to give her $40 to get out of this. I would pay more but I only have $40 with me.
4. Jail would have been better and more productive way for me to spend the day.
As of May, 2006 what play has had the longest run on Broadway? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Benjamin Harrison.
Have the greatest Wednesday of your life.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
A friend of mine had too many tickets and had to go to driving school Saturday from 8-2. Although no electronics were allowed in the room here are four emails he sent about the event:
1. This is awful. 20 degenerates sitting the basement of a church.
2. This is a sad state of affairs on the world.
3. I just took a test with the dumbest questions you could imagine. The lady in charge is awful and on a crazy powertrip. I am trying to figure out a way to give her $40 to get out of this. I would pay more but I only have $40 with me.
4. Jail would have been better and more productive way for me to spend the day.
As of May, 2006 what play has had the longest run on Broadway? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Benjamin Harrison.
Have the greatest Wednesday of your life.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
1. I am a little sick. Not so sick that I can’t do anything but certainly sick enough to complain about it.
2. I couldn’t look more pasty.
3. You’re supposed to be miserable in Michigan in February.
4. I have to take out the garbage tonight. I will be thinking about it all day.
5. I’m for sure losing my hair.
6. Don’t you hate it when you’re sick and someone tells you they think you’re all better?
7. There is nothing worse than opening the mail.
8. There is nothing worse than having that last bit of soap left in the shower. Do you try to use it or just let it melt away? Sorry for talking about the shower.
9. Number nine.
Who was the first US President to put electricity into the White House? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Syracuse University..
Have a decent Tuesday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
2. I couldn’t look more pasty.
3. You’re supposed to be miserable in Michigan in February.
4. I have to take out the garbage tonight. I will be thinking about it all day.
5. I’m for sure losing my hair.
6. Don’t you hate it when you’re sick and someone tells you they think you’re all better?
7. There is nothing worse than opening the mail.
8. There is nothing worse than having that last bit of soap left in the shower. Do you try to use it or just let it melt away? Sorry for talking about the shower.
9. Number nine.
Who was the first US President to put electricity into the White House? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Syracuse University..
Have a decent Tuesday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, February 26, 2007
I spent my entire day Sunday preparing to comment on the red carpet. I even watched the first fifteen minutes by myself because The Girl was out…probably with another man. There wasn’t one girl in particular who I would break your arm for. If I had to pick my favorite I’d go with Reese. I think the Academy Awards are good if you’re over 100 years old. I prefer the Globes. Please note that I am shallow and don’t know anything about anything (and no one likes me).
What Division I university is home to the largest basketball arena? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Bebo.
Have the best Monday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What Division I university is home to the largest basketball arena? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Bebo.
Have the best Monday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Lloyd: You're it.
Harry: You're it.
Lloyd: You're it, quitsies!
Harry: You're it. Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
Lloyd: You can't do that!
Harry: You're it. Can too!
Lloyd: Cannot, stamp it!
Harry: You're it. Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!
Lloyd: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.
Harry: You're it. No, you can't do that... you can't triple stamp a double stamp, you can't triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!
Lloyd: [hands over ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Harry: You're it. LLOYD! LLOYD! LLOYD!
-Dumb and Dumber, imdb.com
What was the most Googled word in 2006? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include quotes from three John Cusak movies just in case. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was the US and China.
Have an outstanding Sunday please.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Harry: You're it.
Lloyd: You're it, quitsies!
Harry: You're it. Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
Lloyd: You can't do that!
Harry: You're it. Can too!
Lloyd: Cannot, stamp it!
Harry: You're it. Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!
Lloyd: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.
Harry: You're it. No, you can't do that... you can't triple stamp a double stamp, you can't triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!
Lloyd: [hands over ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Harry: You're it. LLOYD! LLOYD! LLOYD!
-Dumb and Dumber, imdb.com
What was the most Googled word in 2006? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include quotes from three John Cusak movies just in case. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was the US and China.
Have an outstanding Sunday please.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, February 24, 2007
I used my blackberry in the shower for the first time this morning. It was definitely not ideal but certainly sealed my addiction. I have no idea what that means. Sorry for talking about the shower.
My sister beat me in Scrabble yesterday. I couldn’t get rid of the Q or the Z and I couldn’t have had any less fun. I believe it was Vince Lombardi who said "show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser." I believe it was Carol Lombard who said "Relax, Georgie, I’m just making my collar and cuffs match."
When I was in college I was positive I saw a rhinoceros in our kitchen but none of my friends believed me. Turns out my friends were right…it wasn’t a rhino at all.
Alligators are indigenous to what two countries? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from people who aren’t alligators. I know…riveting. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was horse racing.
Have the best Saturday of your entire life.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
My sister beat me in Scrabble yesterday. I couldn’t get rid of the Q or the Z and I couldn’t have had any less fun. I believe it was Vince Lombardi who said "show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser." I believe it was Carol Lombard who said "Relax, Georgie, I’m just making my collar and cuffs match."
When I was in college I was positive I saw a rhinoceros in our kitchen but none of my friends believed me. Turns out my friends were right…it wasn’t a rhino at all.
Alligators are indigenous to what two countries? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from people who aren’t alligators. I know…riveting. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was horse racing.
Have the best Saturday of your entire life.
Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, February 23, 2007
I considered the girl from Grey's Anatomy as my new girlfriend when The Girl dumps me until we got an HD TV. No one likes me so who cares about anything.
Here are some of the new names suggested for the Daily Remark.
Moose Droppings
Please Read this, or don't
Trap Line
This is much better than yesterday's
Daily Distraction from your boring job
Sexy Daily Dispatch
Moose Horn
Jabber Jaw
Loose-Jaw
When I was in college I was positive I saw a rhinoceros in our kitchen but none of my friends believed me. Turns out my friends were right.it wasn't a rhino at all.
According to my people, what was America's first organized sport? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Reagan, George Bush #1 and Clinton.
Have a fantastic Friday. Not the best ever but really good nonetheless.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Here are some of the new names suggested for the Daily Remark.
Moose Droppings
Please Read this, or don't
Trap Line
This is much better than yesterday's
Daily Distraction from your boring job
Sexy Daily Dispatch
Moose Horn
Jabber Jaw
Loose-Jaw
When I was in college I was positive I saw a rhinoceros in our kitchen but none of my friends believed me. Turns out my friends were right.it wasn't a rhino at all.
According to my people, what was America's first organized sport? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Reagan, George Bush #1 and Clinton.
Have a fantastic Friday. Not the best ever but really good nonetheless.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, February 22, 2007
The only name I could come up with to replace Daily Remark is Trapper is Sort of Cute. I’ll give 2,174 Moosejaw Rewards points to anyone who can come up with the new name. When you email me your entry please add some legal language noting that Moosejaw forever owns the name you submitted or else no one will like you.
Why do babies start at 0 instead of 1?
I am convinced coffee and caffeine are the key to feeling better. Without fail, anytime I start not feeling well or get tired I have one cup of coffee and I turn into Happy McScoots.
What three left-handed presidents were elected in a row? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Carl C. Magee.
Have an okay Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Why do babies start at 0 instead of 1?
I am convinced coffee and caffeine are the key to feeling better. Without fail, anytime I start not feeling well or get tired I have one cup of coffee and I turn into Happy McScoots.
What three left-handed presidents were elected in a row? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Carl C. Magee.
Have an okay Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
It’s a very special point swapping day. If you need less than 500 Moosejaw Rewards points or if you have some Moosejaw points to give please email me and we’ll make some people who are close to getting something they love just a little bit happier today. As always, please keep in mind that the world is unjust.
I can’t stand the name Daily Remark for the Daily Remark. I am going to change it. Please look forward to a riveting survey soon.
I don’t like cold soup but I am pretty sure it’s because Gazpacho Van Johnstone beat me up by the bus stop in third grade.
According to my people who invented the parking meter? Please note that Vegas has ninety percent of the action for this question on the side of no one getting this without looking it up. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Finland.
Have an amazing Wednesday. Really.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
I can’t stand the name Daily Remark for the Daily Remark. I am going to change it. Please look forward to a riveting survey soon.
I don’t like cold soup but I am pretty sure it’s because Gazpacho Van Johnstone beat me up by the bus stop in third grade.
According to my people who invented the parking meter? Please note that Vegas has ninety percent of the action for this question on the side of no one getting this without looking it up. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Finland.
Have an amazing Wednesday. Really.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I’ve started flipping all the cushions on the couch over every night so they look perfect and neat when I wake up the next morning. I predict I’m the most fun person in the asylum.
If you still haven’t received the Supersale lottery mailer please let me know. Actually, if you haven’t received it and want it please let me know.
Paragraph three jic.
What country means Suomi in its native tongue? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was a javelin.
Have the greatest Tuesday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
If you still haven’t received the Supersale lottery mailer please let me know. Actually, if you haven’t received it and want it please let me know.
Paragraph three jic.
What country means Suomi in its native tongue? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was a javelin.
Have the greatest Tuesday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, February 19, 2007
Did you know the invention of the dustbuster saved the average compulsive cleaner a total of seventeen hours over the course of a lifetime?
We have Supersale going on right now which gets you an additional 10% off sale items. However, we also sent a Supersale lottery mailer which gives you the chance for 15, 25 or 70 percent off. If you didn’t get that mailer please let me know and I’ll make it happen.
When you’re bored please click all birthday cakes should be like this one that TJ got from his girlfriend.
What did astronaut Edgar Mitchell throw on the moon? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Germany.
Have a terrific Monday and please note this is only my second time typing terrific. Now third.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
We have Supersale going on right now which gets you an additional 10% off sale items. However, we also sent a Supersale lottery mailer which gives you the chance for 15, 25 or 70 percent off. If you didn’t get that mailer please let me know and I’ll make it happen.
When you’re bored please click all birthday cakes should be like this one that TJ got from his girlfriend.
What did astronaut Edgar Mitchell throw on the moon? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Germany.
Have a terrific Monday and please note this is only my second time typing terrific. Now third.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.
-Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Aside from Russia, what which European country had the highest population in 2006? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the auto-reply, today’s answer will include quotes from three movies that did not star Billy Bob Thornton. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was between 2 and 3 billion people.
Have the most fantastic rest of Sunday of your life. You might as well.
Love the Madness
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
-Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Aside from Russia, what which European country had the highest population in 2006? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the auto-reply, today’s answer will include quotes from three movies that did not star Billy Bob Thornton. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was between 2 and 3 billion people.
Have the most fantastic rest of Sunday of your life. You might as well.
Love the Madness
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I read somewhere that most giraffes have more spots on the front side of their neck than the back side of their neck.
No one has ever asked me for my autograph and I have very few childhood memories.
I think we should try to get rid of something useless. How about ph? Why can’t it be fone?
I feel like I am trying to be someone I am not today. Please ignore the thing I said about the autograph, the ph and this sentence.
There are over 6 billion people in the world today. How many people were there in 1950…between 2 and 3 billion, between 3 and 4 billion or between 4 and 5 billion? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three important quotes from the movie Spinal Tap. If you haven’t seen Spinal Tap please rent it today. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was 27.
Have an amazing rest of Saturday.
Love the Madness
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
No one has ever asked me for my autograph and I have very few childhood memories.
I think we should try to get rid of something useless. How about ph? Why can’t it be fone?
I feel like I am trying to be someone I am not today. Please ignore the thing I said about the autograph, the ph and this sentence.
There are over 6 billion people in the world today. How many people were there in 1950…between 2 and 3 billion, between 3 and 4 billion or between 4 and 5 billion? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three important quotes from the movie Spinal Tap. If you haven’t seen Spinal Tap please rent it today. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was 27.
Have an amazing rest of Saturday.
Love the Madness
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, February 16, 2007
I did not pick anyone up from the airport last night. My friend agreed with my sentiments entirely and will not be picking me up from anywhere ever.
One of the best Daily Remarkers in the world sent a bunch of us presents. Please click I should send a present too to check it out.
Did you know that oysters are the only living creature, including humans, to use soap?
I have to get a crown on my tooth. Nitrous city.
How old was Billy Madison in the movie Billy Madison? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Mt. Mitchell.
Have the best Friday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
One of the best Daily Remarkers in the world sent a bunch of us presents. Please click I should send a present too to check it out.
Did you know that oysters are the only living creature, including humans, to use soap?
I have to get a crown on my tooth. Nitrous city.
How old was Billy Madison in the movie Billy Madison? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Mt. Mitchell.
Have the best Friday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, February 15, 2007
I am picking up a friend at the airport tonight. I consider picking anyone up at the airport a complete and total waste of time. It is less expensive for my friend to get a cab. It is almost a sign that I don’t like the friend all that much because if we were really close I would feel okay about not picking him up and being open about the notion that it is a waste of time. Okay, I am no longer picking anyone up from the airport tonight. I hope I really end up not doing it.
Today’s question comes from Lisa Marie. According to Lisa Marie, when February 15th falls on a Thursday everyone is supposed to have some sort of cheese with dinner. However, the cheese is not to be eaten ever…it is just to be looked at. Here we go…What’s the highest peak east of the Mississippi? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Zone Improvement Plan.
Have an okay Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Today’s question comes from Lisa Marie. According to Lisa Marie, when February 15th falls on a Thursday everyone is supposed to have some sort of cheese with dinner. However, the cheese is not to be eaten ever…it is just to be looked at. Here we go…What’s the highest peak east of the Mississippi? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Zone Improvement Plan.
Have an okay Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Dear The Girl,
Happy Valentines Day. I bumped your car this morning and there is a big white mark on your bumper. Before you get mad please read on…
The driveway was super icy this morning and the bag of salt was rock solid so I couldn’t salt the driveway. So, I backed my car out of the garage and put the bag of salt over the iciest spot on the driveway. My plan was to run over the bag of salt with my car which would have spread the salt out and also make the salt more useable for increased salting or something like that. Well, the bag of salt slid out of the way when the tire hit it and it slid into your car. Oops. Sorry. It was out of love and the white mark gives your car some much needed character.
Love you more than ever.
Today’s question comes from Mary Lou. Apparently, Mary Lou is dressing up as Cupid and going to every museum in Manhattan today to give out pictures of a key. If you happen to see her please yell ‘laundry is for kangaroos’ as loudly as you can. Here we go… what do the letters ZIP stand for in Zip code? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Gordon Shumway.
Have the best Valentines Day ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Happy Valentines Day. I bumped your car this morning and there is a big white mark on your bumper. Before you get mad please read on…
The driveway was super icy this morning and the bag of salt was rock solid so I couldn’t salt the driveway. So, I backed my car out of the garage and put the bag of salt over the iciest spot on the driveway. My plan was to run over the bag of salt with my car which would have spread the salt out and also make the salt more useable for increased salting or something like that. Well, the bag of salt slid out of the way when the tire hit it and it slid into your car. Oops. Sorry. It was out of love and the white mark gives your car some much needed character.
Love you more than ever.
Today’s question comes from Mary Lou. Apparently, Mary Lou is dressing up as Cupid and going to every museum in Manhattan today to give out pictures of a key. If you happen to see her please yell ‘laundry is for kangaroos’ as loudly as you can. Here we go… what do the letters ZIP stand for in Zip code? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Gordon Shumway.
Have the best Valentines Day ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
A radio station in Detroit wanted Moosejaw to sponsor a ski trip. We said we’d do it only if we could provide the creative for our 15 second promotional spot which would air several times a day. The following text was our creative and we insisted they played the song every time they ran the promo…
As always, Wind Beneath My Wings and the fifty dollar gift certificate are sponsored by Moosejaw Mountaineering.
The radio station turned us down.
Today’s question comes from Chris. Chris wanted me to let everyone know that he will be in the audience on American Idol tonight. He’ll be wearing a bright blue tee shirt that says ‘Porcelain vases are okay.’ Please look for him. Or don’t…especially considering I made all of that up. On the TV show Alf, what is Alf’s real name? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was the Chesapeake Bay.
Have an incredible Tuesday please.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
As always, Wind Beneath My Wings and the fifty dollar gift certificate are sponsored by Moosejaw Mountaineering.
The radio station turned us down.
Today’s question comes from Chris. Chris wanted me to let everyone know that he will be in the audience on American Idol tonight. He’ll be wearing a bright blue tee shirt that says ‘Porcelain vases are okay.’ Please look for him. Or don’t…especially considering I made all of that up. On the TV show Alf, what is Alf’s real name? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was the Chesapeake Bay.
Have an incredible Tuesday please.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, February 12, 2007
Here is a boring play from our house last night…
Fade into a room in our house after dinner…
Me: Will you please step on my back?
The Girl: I just made dinner.
Me: I know and I love you so much but I’m probably going to die soon and you’ll miss stepping on my back.
The Girl: I always think about everyone dying.
Me: I don’t care if I die. I just don’t want to be tortured.
[silence]
Me: So, will you step on my back.
The Girl: No
Fade out…
Today’s question comes from Michele or Joshua or both Michele and Joshua…they were named the most difficult couple to understand in the western hempisphere. I don’t know if they are a couple so I apologize if I just ruined something. Here we go…What’s North America’s largest estuary? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Benjamin Franklin.
Have the best Monday of your life.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Fade into a room in our house after dinner…
Me: Will you please step on my back?
The Girl: I just made dinner.
Me: I know and I love you so much but I’m probably going to die soon and you’ll miss stepping on my back.
The Girl: I always think about everyone dying.
Me: I don’t care if I die. I just don’t want to be tortured.
[silence]
Me: So, will you step on my back.
The Girl: No
Fade out…
Today’s question comes from Michele or Joshua or both Michele and Joshua…they were named the most difficult couple to understand in the western hempisphere. I don’t know if they are a couple so I apologize if I just ruined something. Here we go…What’s North America’s largest estuary? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Benjamin Franklin.
Have the best Monday of your life.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Bill: I'm an idea man Chuck, I get ideas, sometimes I get so many ideas that I can't even fight them off!
Bill: So there I was at the Blackjack table with all my wash 'n' dries... did I tell you I had they idea for them first?
Bill: OK, here's an example. Watch out, stand back.
[speaks into tape recorder]
Bill: This is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage: edible paper. You see, you eat it, it's gone. Eat it, it's out of there!
Bill: What if you mix the mayonnaise in the can, WITH the tunafish? Or... hold it! Chuck! I got it! Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED 'em mayonnaise! Oh this is great.
[speaks into tape recorder]
Bill: Call Starkist!
- Night Shift
Today’s question comes from Paul. He asked us specifically to use his question on February 11th because it is three days before Valentines. That’s not true. Here we go…Who "invented" daylight savings time? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from the person who is the answer. I am not sure I like the way that previous sentence sounds but I’m going with it. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was the New River in West Virginia.
Have an amazing Sunday. Really, why not?
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Bill: So there I was at the Blackjack table with all my wash 'n' dries... did I tell you I had they idea for them first?
Bill: OK, here's an example. Watch out, stand back.
[speaks into tape recorder]
Bill: This is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage: edible paper. You see, you eat it, it's gone. Eat it, it's out of there!
Bill: What if you mix the mayonnaise in the can, WITH the tunafish? Or... hold it! Chuck! I got it! Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED 'em mayonnaise! Oh this is great.
[speaks into tape recorder]
Bill: Call Starkist!
- Night Shift
Today’s question comes from Paul. He asked us specifically to use his question on February 11th because it is three days before Valentines. That’s not true. Here we go…Who "invented" daylight savings time? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from the person who is the answer. I am not sure I like the way that previous sentence sounds but I’m going with it. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was the New River in West Virginia.
Have an amazing Sunday. Really, why not?
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The Girl wanted to go to the mall last night before dinner. I can’t stand the mall but I agreed to it simply to avoid divorce even though we’re not married. We got there at 7 and everything except for Starbucks was closed. It was the closest I have ever come to being a superhero and I didn’t have to step foot in any shop. I'm thinking I am like Zan of the Wondertwins maybe.
I got The Girl a picture frame as a present at least three months ago. The picture frame is sitting on a table with the picture that came with the frame still inside it. I am going to rewrap it and give it to her for Valentines. If she skips the remark today I am positive she won’t notice. Please note that I really won’t wrap it. I am convinced wrapping is an insensitive way to give a gift unless someone can do the wrapping for you.
I have nothing else to say but it seems appropriate to take more space.
The Nile River is one of only two major rivers in the world that flow south to north. What is the other river? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes that have something to do with a river. They said nothing is more fun than movies about rivers. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was Flathead Lake in Montana.
Have the best Saturday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
I got The Girl a picture frame as a present at least three months ago. The picture frame is sitting on a table with the picture that came with the frame still inside it. I am going to rewrap it and give it to her for Valentines. If she skips the remark today I am positive she won’t notice. Please note that I really won’t wrap it. I am convinced wrapping is an insensitive way to give a gift unless someone can do the wrapping for you.
I have nothing else to say but it seems appropriate to take more space.
The Nile River is one of only two major rivers in the world that flow south to north. What is the other river? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes that have something to do with a river. They said nothing is more fun than movies about rivers. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was Flathead Lake in Montana.
Have the best Saturday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, February 09, 2007
I thought Charles Manson had something to do with the Symbionese Liberation Army. The Girl disagreed and we bet a five minute massage on it. I was wrong. It's the first time I've ever been wrong about anything and I feel rather liberated.
Today's question comes from Melanie. It just seems like her to ask a question like this, don't you think? She's always talking about fresh water and big lakes and the Mississippi and Twain and Faulkner and, more recently, Kerouac and Ginsberg.trying to be some sort of pseudo-intellectual. Melanie - I have no idea what anything I just typed means. I don't even know who Ginsberg is. I had nothing else to say today and it is clear that in the pursuit of trying to make myself more comfortable with my own life I said some pretty awful things. For that I apologize. Here we go.
What's the largest freshwater lake that's naturally occurring west of the Mississippi? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was the hand. It was actually a hand holding a bullet.
Have an incredible Friday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Today's question comes from Melanie. It just seems like her to ask a question like this, don't you think? She's always talking about fresh water and big lakes and the Mississippi and Twain and Faulkner and, more recently, Kerouac and Ginsberg.trying to be some sort of pseudo-intellectual. Melanie - I have no idea what anything I just typed means. I don't even know who Ginsberg is. I had nothing else to say today and it is clear that in the pursuit of trying to make myself more comfortable with my own life I said some pretty awful things. For that I apologize. Here we go.
What's the largest freshwater lake that's naturally occurring west of the Mississippi? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was the hand. It was actually a hand holding a bullet.
Have an incredible Friday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, February 08, 2007
I am not sure if you knew that Dating Girl was gone but now she's back. Please check it out when you're bored.
Here are some facts I probably made up.
A)Colonial wigs are making a big comeback in many high schools and colleges in the northwest.
B)Princess Leia covered up her ears with her hair because she loves rabbits.
C)If you tell people you're tired of politics they think you know something about politics.
What body part was shot in the first X-ray photograph? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Chamonix, France.
Have a really good Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Here are some facts I probably made up.
A)Colonial wigs are making a big comeback in many high schools and colleges in the northwest.
B)Princess Leia covered up her ears with her hair because she loves rabbits.
C)If you tell people you're tired of politics they think you know something about politics.
What body part was shot in the first X-ray photograph? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Chamonix, France.
Have a really good Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
I am not sure if you knew that Dating Girl was gone but now she's back. Please check it out when you're bored.
Here are some facts I probably made up.
A)Colonial wigs are making a big comeback in many high schools and colleges in the northwest.
B)Princess Leia covered up her ears with her hair because she loves rabbits.
C)If you tell people you're tired of politics they think you know something about politics.
What body part was shot in the first X-ray photograph? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Chamonix, France.
Have a really good Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Here are some facts I probably made up.
A)Colonial wigs are making a big comeback in many high schools and colleges in the northwest.
B)Princess Leia covered up her ears with her hair because she loves rabbits.
C)If you tell people you're tired of politics they think you know something about politics.
What body part was shot in the first X-ray photograph? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Chamonix, France.
Have a really good Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
We have the best contest ever this month. Please click even though The Girl tells me not to use fabric softener and bounce I still use both because she likes fabric softener and I like the bounce. I especially like smelling the sheet of bounce when it’s mixed in with all the other laundry in the basket to check it out. I find nothing more relaxing than folding the laundry but I still can’t stand doing it.
I don’t like anything about the preceding paragraph. I wish I hadn’t written it or thought about it.
What town was home to the first Winter Olympic Games? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was James Polk.
Have a decent Wednesday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
I don’t like anything about the preceding paragraph. I wish I hadn’t written it or thought about it.
What town was home to the first Winter Olympic Games? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was James Polk.
Have a decent Wednesday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
I have no idea if the following works but if you have a Verizon phone with internet access can you please try it out? The following is a copy and paste and thus, the bullet points do not count as my own because, like the exclamation point they have been banned.
I’m writing to confirm that Moosejaw products are now available for sale on mPoria’s shopping portal offered by Verizon Wireless.
To view the site on a Verizon phone please:
· Launch the browser on any MobileWeb 2.0 enabled phone
· Click on the ‘Shopping’ button
· Click on ‘More’
· Click on ‘mPoria’
· Browse or search for Moosejaw products
I wore my robe this morning for the first time since 1912. There was some granola in the pocket. That’s all.
Who was president when the California gold rush began? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Introducing….The Beatles.
Have the ninth most amazing Tuesday of your life.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
I’m writing to confirm that Moosejaw products are now available for sale on mPoria’s shopping portal offered by Verizon Wireless.
To view the site on a Verizon phone please:
· Launch the browser on any MobileWeb 2.0 enabled phone
· Click on the ‘Shopping’ button
· Click on ‘More’
· Click on ‘mPoria’
· Browse or search for Moosejaw products
I wore my robe this morning for the first time since 1912. There was some granola in the pocket. That’s all.
Who was president when the California gold rush began? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Introducing….The Beatles.
Have the ninth most amazing Tuesday of your life.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, February 05, 2007
I can't think of anything good to tell about the Superbowl. I did bring my computer to the party we went to. I assumed it would be better for everyone if I could be on my computer the entire time so that I wouldn't be stressed about not being on my computer and thus avoid ruining the event for everyone. I ended up not even turning my computer on. I did hold onto it like a blankey though.
What was the name of the first album the Beatles released in the United States? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Ivan the Terrible.
Have an incredible Monday please. Please.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What was the name of the first album the Beatles released in the United States? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Ivan the Terrible.
Have an incredible Monday please. Please.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out... You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean... You know who that guy was Danny?
-Ty Webb, Caddyshack
Who was the first Russian ruler to formally assume the title of czar? I may have asked this question before but someone asked me and I missed it so I am forced to ask it. Just following the rules I make up as I go along. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today’s auto-reply will include three movie quotes that have something to do with Russia. I know…riveting. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was the Pyramids of Egypt.
Have the greatest Sunday of your life.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
-Ty Webb, Caddyshack
Who was the first Russian ruler to formally assume the title of czar? I may have asked this question before but someone asked me and I missed it so I am forced to ask it. Just following the rules I make up as I go along. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today’s auto-reply will include three movie quotes that have something to do with Russia. I know…riveting. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was the Pyramids of Egypt.
Have the greatest Sunday of your life.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, February 02, 2007
It took me a solid two days to tally the stats for the new look versus old look Moosejaw product from the survey Wednesday. The new look won overwhelmingly which means we’ll probably have to hire a new photographer who will inevitably be a great emailer and end up replacing me. Please see the quote from The Sure Thing way below.
Can you believe the girl from Top Chef? I would break your arm to go to france with her. Did I say that?
Happiest Birthday ever to Danny. If you know Danny please remember that no one cares about a card… even a really nice card. Please get him something good. If anyone wants to give Danny some Moosejaw Rewards points for his birthday please let me know. Personally, I wouldn’t give him more than fifty… twenty-five seems about right.
Today’s question comes from David who apparently just got back from nearly a year of world travel. I happen to not believe that story. Here we go… In Slavic, the word Prague means what? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Thomas Jefferson.
Gib: I flunk English, I'm outta here. I gotta get a job, and you know what that means. That's right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job. But the day I'm supposed to start some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick 300 just for driving a van back from Mexico. When I get out of jail I'm 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down in the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner and why? Because you wouldn't help me in English.
Have a decent Friday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Can you believe the girl from Top Chef? I would break your arm to go to france with her. Did I say that?
Happiest Birthday ever to Danny. If you know Danny please remember that no one cares about a card… even a really nice card. Please get him something good. If anyone wants to give Danny some Moosejaw Rewards points for his birthday please let me know. Personally, I wouldn’t give him more than fifty… twenty-five seems about right.
Today’s question comes from David who apparently just got back from nearly a year of world travel. I happen to not believe that story. Here we go… In Slavic, the word Prague means what? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Thomas Jefferson.
Gib: I flunk English, I'm outta here. I gotta get a job, and you know what that means. That's right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job. But the day I'm supposed to start some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick 300 just for driving a van back from Mexico. When I get out of jail I'm 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down in the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner and why? Because you wouldn't help me in English.
Have a decent Friday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, February 01, 2007
We just started listening to Richard Cheese at Moosejaw and I feel like I have really missed out on everything. Please check his website when you're bored. Here is an excerpt just in case.
Do you ever accept trade/barter instead of money?
Well, if you're hiring us to play at your whorehouse, then the answer is yes!
But seriously folks, we'll certainly consider a trade...but if you're trying to hire us to play the Kotex Christmas Party, don't think you can pay us in tampons! However, we are open to creative financing. For example, we played a show for XBox, and they paid us partly in XBoxes...plus a pile of cash that was supposed to go to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. Sorry, poverty-stricken people!
Anyway, If you've got liquor, clothes, appliances, or musical instruments for us, let's pow-wow with the suits and muckety-mucks and see if we can pull the trigger on the ol' flagpole.
Today's Democrats were previously known as the Democratic Republicans, Republicans and Anti-Federalists. Who led the Anti-Federalist movement? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Leadville, Colorado.
Have an amazing Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Do you ever accept trade/barter instead of money?
Well, if you're hiring us to play at your whorehouse, then the answer is yes!
But seriously folks, we'll certainly consider a trade...but if you're trying to hire us to play the Kotex Christmas Party, don't think you can pay us in tampons! However, we are open to creative financing. For example, we played a show for XBox, and they paid us partly in XBoxes...plus a pile of cash that was supposed to go to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. Sorry, poverty-stricken people!
Anyway, If you've got liquor, clothes, appliances, or musical instruments for us, let's pow-wow with the suits and muckety-mucks and see if we can pull the trigger on the ol' flagpole.
Today's Democrats were previously known as the Democratic Republicans, Republicans and Anti-Federalists. Who led the Anti-Federalist movement? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Leadville, Colorado.
Have an amazing Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
