Moosejaw Daily Madness

Happiest Halloween and Happy Birthday to Lisa. If you know Lisa definitely get her a scary mug or an old picture of yourself for her to hang in the foyer. Not her foyer though. This was Lisa’s request, not mine.

I wonder why they don’t just have robots go around on Halloween.

I’m dressing up as Phil Donahue tonight. We’re going to The Girl’s sister’s for some sort of party with kids and human people. All I know is that if someone offers me one of those pumpkin-looking candy corn things I am going to lose it.

This is the second bad remark in a row.

Only one country can claim two of the most ten populous cities in the world. What is the country? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Wellington, New Zealand.

Have a pretty good Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Q: There is this girl I like and she apparently liked me, but we were both too shy to say so... well she's now talking about dating one of our mutual friends, but the last time I talked to her, she she wasn't dating him and she didn't want me out of her life. Should this relationship be pursued? Or do I let it go and just remain good friends?

Thanks

A: You’re gonna have to step up to the plate if you want this girl. You can’t let the bold buy win but he will if you stand by and watch! If she’s worth it, you should ask her out. You should kiss her too. Not necessarily on the 1st date, but soon enough so she knows you’re interested and she should stop thinking about that other guy.

If that doesn’t sound good to you then you could prob walk away and do the friend thing.

Also, it’s prob not worth losing the mutual friend over if he’s a good friend. Just something to keep in mind.

Hope that helps!

Love the Madness,
DG

Moosejaw.com

The Dating Girl and all of its related content are meant for entertainment purposes only and do not contain professional or other advice. The views, opinions, points of view and comments expressed by the Dating Girl are not intended to provide professional or other advice and are not those of Moosejaw Mountaineering and Backcountry Travel, Inc.

My blackberry is not getting email right now and I am supposed to go to dinner with acquaintances. Total disaster. I am going to start pretending to be sick right now. Something like…

What time is dinner tonight? I have never felt more sick in my life. I think it’s allergies. If I die today and don’t make it to dinner you can have all my old shoes. Please feel free to use your cell phone during my funeral.

That’s all I have for today.

What is the world’s northernmost capital city of a country? I don’t love the way that question sounds. Today is an auto-reply day which is pretty good news. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three Steve Martin movie quotes and one quote from Rod Laver. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important work.

Yesterday’s answer was the NFL.

Have a really good Monday. Really.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Roger the Shrubber: Are you saying Ni to that old woman?
King Arthur: Um, yes.
Roger the Shrubber: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger the Shrubber: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

What professional sports league in the US has the highest per game attendance? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from people I have seen in shorts and one quote from an animal. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this riveting auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Jose Canseco.

Have a pretty good Sunday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I got yelled at by a lady at a restaurant last night. I typed out the story but then decided it was bad so I am just going to leave it at that. I was trying to think of a movie scene to compare the story to but I can’t think of any movie where a cute young man just trying to make his way in a harsh world filled with gloom and misery gets yelled at by a mean lady. I’m pretty sure Pacino yells at everyone in a restaurant in Scarface but that’s not really the same. Less importantly, I raced a raccoon and squirrel down the street this morning. I came in second. Oh well.

Who was the first major leaguer to hit 40 home runs and have 40 steals in one season? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from baseball players and one quote from Kim Bassinger. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply..

Yesterday’s answer was Madeline Albright.

Have the best Saturday ever.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Only a couple days left for the 20% off any one item anniversary thing.

More importantly, I saw Marie Osmond pass out on Dancing with the Stars last night. We DVR’d it and it didn’t disappoint. I’ve passed out a few times. One time I got bit by a bee and cut myself when I went to get the stinger out and the cut was so deep and perfect that I passed out. I have no idea why I said ‘perfect’ and I feel like some sort of knife wielding killer when I would actually be the first person to run really quickly from a brawl unless I was wielding a shot gun. I think I’d hold my shot gun like Michael Pare in Streets of Fire. You don’t get bit by a bee you fool…you get stung.

The largest one-day percentage drop in the US stock market occurred in what decade? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from Wall Street and one quote from Annie. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply..

Yesterday’s answer was Chicago.

Have a decent Friday. Really.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The people who live across the street from us have lots of kids and lots of garbage. It would be such a joy to have that to think about all week. What a challenge. I imagine the difficulties of work and love would seem like nothing.

It’s Steve’s birthday today. If you know Steve definitely get him a $4 gift card to a place that doesn’t sell anything under $30. However, make sure only four people get him the gift cards and make sure the company won’t let you combine a gift card and cash. Steve requested all of this.

Section three…a little something for the people finally.

The first game of softball took place in what city? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Nathaniel Greene.

Have the best Thursday ever.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Emergency…you can watch any Daily Show segment ever.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml

I went to Jessica Alba and it wasn’t good. I searched for Steve Carell and Kate Hudson too.

Yesterday someone who works at Caribou asked me to help him bring a pumpkin from his car into Caribou. I did it but I have never been more uncomfortable in my life. If it was a girl I would have been in plain old pumpkin city.

That pumpkin story is true.

ssb

Greensboro, North Carolina is named for whom? Please note, I had to look up whether or not I was supposed to use ‘whom’ there. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was General Motors.

Have a really good Wednesday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

This is a guest Daily Remark from Ian and I list it as only the second fact I’ve learned in four years. The first was the value of Shift/F3. Here we go…

When Mar's Candy Company First Released the Milky Way Bar and the 3 Musketeer's Bar, they were released at the same time. Funny thing is that when they released the first batch the machine got the labels backwards, what we know as a "milky way" is actually supposed to be the "3 musketeers ( (1)chocolate, (2)caramel and (3)nougat)," along the same lines, the "3 musketeers bar," as we know it, was supposed to be the light and fluffy "milkyway." That’s all.

This is Matt’s reply to today’s guest Daily Remark and I feel much more comfortable about the world because of it….

I'm not sure if we care about the DR being accurate or not but the 'fact' is just an urban legend:
http://www.snopes.com/business/names/3musketeers.asp

If it doesn't matter then please disregard and excuse my meddling. As a side note the Bourbon Steak in the MGM Grand is amazing. The movie 30 Days of Night was so-so.

William Durant founded what company? I am forced to ask the question because I missed it and I was certain there would be no chance of that actually happening. If you Google it you’ll get it in about a second. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Mount Vesuvius.

Have the best Tuesday ever.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

It’s Moosejaw’s 15 Year Anniversary Sale and we’re doing 20% off any one item. Can you hardly?

We also have a 15 Year Anniversary shirt. Please click Ham Porter to check it our when you’re bored. Actually, if you order the Ham Porter and email me your order number I’ll add 372 Moosejaw points to your account. 372 represents an extreme sect of witchcraft called Kikop. Don’t look for it…it’s super secretive.

That’s all.

What’s the only volcano in Europe to have erupted in the past one hundred years? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Hawaii.

Have an okay Monday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation. It's bullshit. You got ninety percent of the American public out there with little or no net worth. I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine, upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it. Now you're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy? It's the free market. And you're a part of it. You've got that killer instinct. Stick around pal, I've still got a lot to teach you.
-Gordon Gecko, Wall Street

According to my people, what state consumes more spam than any other? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from human people who I know have been to the state that is the answer and one quote from Alexander Hamilton. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this riveting auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was HBO’s Inside the NFL.

Have the best Sunday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Michigan is at Illinois tonight. Fortunately, I get to go to this lady’s birthday party and miss the game.

Dear Lady – Your boyfriend likes you so much that he hasn’t made a big deal about missing the game. My guess is he did something really bad. That’s all. See you soon. All the love.

According to the host of the show, what is cable tv’s longest-running show? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from movies that have something to do with dancing. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was The Doors.

Have an alright Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We moved our shop in Rochester Hills to a bigger and better location last week and we opened a new shop in Partridge Creek yesterday. If you want to visit either shop and have us hold some sort of party for you please let me know.

I got an iPod Nano a month ago today. It’s still in the box.

I can’t stand it when I don’t get a second glance.

No one likes me.

ssb

Who led the team that ended the Harlem Globetrotters twenty-four year winning streak in 1995? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Nathan Hale.

Have a decent Friday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have lots of new Moosejaw stuff. If you place an order for anything Moosejaw today I’ll add 422 Moosejaw points to your account. Please click I’m Feeling Exploited to check out the new stuff and then email me your order number after you place your order and I’ll solve everything.

Less importantly, I’m thinking about growing a mustache for the holiday season. How come there are no superheroes with mustaches? I had a goatee once but The Girl told me I looked like Bert from Sesame Street…I assume he’s the one with the long face.

There will be no Section 3 today.

What is the second most populous country in South America? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Albert Einstein.

Have the best Thursday of your entire life.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

It’s the four year anniversary of the Remark in eleven days. Please remember that I don’t particularly like chocolate.

We ran out of ice cream at our house so I had a popsicle last night before bed. It wasn’t so horrible but something bad is going to happen to me for sure strictly because I ended an important ice cream eating streak. Something not so good might happen to you too…like you’ll forget to wear sun block on the next time you go to the zoo and a giraffe gives you some sort of scary evil eye.

I can’t think of one monster that resembles a front loading washing machine…must be nice.

In 1999, Time first published its 100 most influential people of the century. Who was number one on the list? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the Arctic.

Have an alright Wednesday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Emergency…I went to dinner last night with The Girl and I am pretty sure the three hostesses liked me. However, I think they liked me to the point that they either must make every boy think that they are liked stripper-style or they were making fun of me. I may have counted four second glances and a stare. Maybe three second glances.

That’s all.

Garbage day tomorrow. Now that’s all.

Which ocean is the shallowest? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Bob Dylan.

Have a fantastic Tuesday. Really.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Just because I haven’t talked about taking out the garbage in the past couple of weeks doesn’t mean that it doesn’t ruin my every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I wonder what would ruin my day if someone were to solve that? I think I’d spend more time thinking about my lunch for the following day. ssb

This is a new page on the site. I like it but I wouldn’t look at it if I were you. Please click here to not look at it.

Section three.

Among Bob Dylan, The Doors or Elvis who was scheduled to perform on the Ed Sullivan show but walked out because the show asked that the lyrics to a song be changed for the live performance? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Franklin Roosevelt.

Have a relatively decent Monday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element!
-Walter Sobjak, The Big Lebowski

Who was the first US President to appear on television? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today’s auto-reply will include three quotes by the president who is the answer and one quote by Kirsten Dunst. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.comfor this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was 99.

You might as well have an incredible Sunday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The Girl and I went to dinner last night. We waited an hour for a table and ended up at a table adjacent to the wall that bumped up against the kitchen’s dishwasher on the other side….please see the invisible diagram below for more details. About every three minutes, when the dishwasher started going, the floor and table shook. I tried to go with it but I couldn’t do it. It was like being in Pompeii just before Vesuvius erupted. Maybe not but I asked if we could be moved and we waited another twenty minutes and got moved to a table for normal people. Then, the dinner wasn’t all that good. Then, they felt bad for us so they brought out a free dessert. It was chocolate and I don’t eat chocolate except for cookies and cream ice cream and it wasn’t cookies and cream ice cream. I got a parking ticket too.

Invisible diagram…


Section Three.

In the movie Fletch what number did Fletch wear when he played for the Lakers? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from Fletch. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.comfor this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Tampa Bay in 2003.

Have the best Saturday ever.

Love the Madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I am working at a coffee shop right now. I see an acquaintance. She is wearing sunglasses inside the coffee shop. So far she hasn’t seen me so all is okay. Odds are she has zero interest talking to me either. This is a true story. I’m trying to think of something interesting to say if I have to talk to her. Here is my prediction about the potential conversation.

Girl: Hi. How are you?
Me: Really good. I’m having a baby.
Girl: That is awesome.
Me: Really I’m not having a baby but it felt like the right thing to say.
Girl: I never liked you and I still don’t.
Me: Okay.

Happiest Birthday ever to Laurie from New York. If you know Laurie please don’t get her a gift. She just wants a call. If you got her a gift please return it.

What NFC team most recently won the Superbowl? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was The Doors.

Have an alright Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I am out of town right now but still working. Who cares? On the plane last night the lady sitting next to me talked to me the entire time flight about her pyramid scheme and how much money she makes a week. Actually, she said it was a binary scheme and not a pyramid scheme. I have no idea what that means. I wanted to kill myself but she was so nice that I had to be nice back. However, I did tell her that I didn’t want her brochure or her card. I didn’t tell her where I was staying and I told her that I was still in school and working on my masters in political theory. I still hope she’s able to track me down. Everyone likes a harmless stalker.

What band had the most songs included in the movie Forest Gump? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was fourth.

Have a fantastic Thursday please. Okay.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I checked through some old Remarks only to discover that I was quoting Poison quite often back in the day. I was so young and vibrant and handsome back then. Tomorrow is actually the four year anniversary of the Daily Remark. That’s not true…October 28th is the four year anniversary but I feel like you’ll need 18 days to choose some great present for me and get it shipped to Moosejaw in time for the Anni. I’d like to note that I’ve learned almost nothing in four years but I hope that in some bizarre way I have made your life a little less meaningful.

The Secretary of State ranks where in the Presidential Line of Succession? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was $5 although some people said it was $10. Apparently Wikipedia is wrong because $5 is right. Sorry for being so mean about it.

Have the best Wednesday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have a decent new billboard live in Birmingham, Michigan. Please click I have no time to check out your billboards to check it out. The pic of the billboard isn’t all that clear so you’ll see the actual and the mock up. If you want to see the billboard but not the mock up please cover your right eye with a patch before clicking through. Also, please don’t look for the Okinawa collection. As far as I know it doesn’t really exist. That’s all.

What was the price of a ticket to the first Academy Awards? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Sam Houston.

Have a fantastic Tuesday, please.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I have no idea whether or not anyone would want me to sing a song but if I sang a song right now I’m thinking I’d do “There’s no business like show business.” Please email me if you’re interested in any sort of podcast.

I saw a bug in my house.

I have been taking some sort of natural sleeping pill that is supposed to have stuff in it like turkey because turkey makes you tired and I have to say that it actually works.

I typically watch tv on mute.

I don’t care about candy or chocolate.

Hi boring and tedious. How are you today? Pretty good. How are you? Not bad. Good. Good. You’re botox looks great. Did Dr. Lufiger do you’re work? No, it was his partner... Dr. Shore.

Who is the only person to serve as governor of two different states? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was New York City.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

This is a story about a man named Harold Crick and his wristwatch. Harold Crick was a man of infinite numbers, endless calculations, and remarkably few words. And his wristwatch said even less. Every weekday, for twelve years, Harold would brush each of his thirty-two teeth seventy-six times. Thirty-eight times back and forth, thirty-eight times up and down. Every weekday, for twelve years, Harold would tie his tie in a single Windsor knot instead of the double, thereby saving up to forty-three seconds. His wristwatch thought the single Windsor made his neck look fat, but said nothing.
-Kay Eiffel, Stranger Than Fiction

According to my people, the world’s first cafeteria opened in what city? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from ladies who are alive. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was South Africa.

Have a decent Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Three of us had a meeting yesterday with a real company. In the middle of the meeting we got the giggles so badly that we couldn’t really talk. One Moosejaw person actually had to get up and leave the room. I am laughing again just thinking about it. I know it isn’t a good story but it could not have been any funnier or less professional or inappropriate when it happened. No one likes me.

What nation did not send anyone to the Olympics between 1960 and 1992? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from people who I have seen in a hat. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was tigers.

Have the best Saturday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Emergency…Have you ever had pomegranate seeds? Please don’t answer that. But, please note that there is nothing better in the world. Also, the lady who is in the new Cadillac commercials who was also on Grey’s Anatomy likes me. That’s not true but she would probably like me if she knew me. That’s not true either. No one likes me. I like her voice though. The Girl knows all about it so you don’t need to email me to tell that I’m terrible. You can though if you want. I knew a Dave Canthough in middle school…great fighter.

Boys don’t like to dance.

Section three.

According to my people, whose median income is higher…preschool teachers or hairdressers? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the Tower of London.

Have an alright Thursday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Emergency…Have you ever had pomegranate seeds? Please don’t answer that. But, please note that there is nothing better in the world. Also, the lady who is in the new Cadillac commercials who was also on Grey’s Anatomy likes me. That’s not true but she would probably like me if she knew me. That’s not true either. No one likes me. I like her voice though. The Girl knows all about it so you don’t need to email me to tell that I’m terrible. You can though if you want. I knew a Dave Canthough in middle school…great fighter.

Boys don’t like to dance.

Section three.

According to my people, whose median income is higher…preschool teachers or hairdressers? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the Tower of London.

Have an alright Thursday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have the best contest ever this month. Please click I’m Not Into Your Contests to check it out.

Have you seen our 20% off any North Face item deal? It’s in the upper left of the page when you click on the contest link.

Baseball playoffs start tonight. There is almost nothing better in the world.

Did you know that hamsters and starfish are the only animals that make their bed every morning when they wake up?

That’s all.

The Crown Jewels are located in what London monument? Monument might not be the right word. Regardless, please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was prostitutes.

Have an incredible Wednesday. Really.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

On October 1, 1977, Pele retired from soccer. Today is the 30 year and one day anniversary. So, we’re giving 392 Moosejaw Rewards points with any Moosejaw tee shirt, hat or hoody order. Click Please stop exploiting me to check out all the new Moosejaw stuff. Five seconds after you place your order please email me your order number and I’ll add the points and confirm. Should be the best day ever. One per human please.

What profession were Jack the Ripper’s victims? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Nixon.

Have an okay Tuesday. Okay. Okay.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

There was a girl at Starbucks this morning waiting for her drink and crying. So, I went up to her and asked if she was okay. She said no. I asked if I could do anything for her. She said no. Then we just stood next to each other. She kept crying. She was weeping. I wanted so badly to check my blackberry but it felt like a nervous habit so I didn’t check it. Then, I decided I didn’t care if it was a nervous habit and that I didn’t like the crying girl anymore. I didn’t have any new emails so I emailed myself ‘crying girl’ to remember the incident. Then, I was hoping the crier would see that I emailed myself ‘crying girl’ and ask why I did it but she didn’t. Then, the strangest of all things happened…someone put a dunce hat on my head and handed me a poster of a jack rabbit driving a bulldozer and took my picture and left. That last part was made up but the crying girl really did exist and no one likes me including me.

Who ordered the Dept. of Justice to deport John Lennon? Please email your answer to me Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was DePaul.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com