Moosejaw Daily Madness

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
-When Harry Met Sally

What college has the Blue Demons as their mascot? Today is an auto-reply day. I addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from Mark Twain and one quote from someone who is not Mark Twain. Riveting. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was San Francisco.

Have an excellent rest of Sunday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The remarks the three previous days have been particularly short. Perhaps even concise. I believe this is a wonderful new trend.

James Madison was our shortest president and I have been getting McDonald’s coffee mid-day recently.

This is a horrible remark. It’s not even all that short.

The Beatles last scheduled commercial concert was held in what city? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes by Beatles and once quote by Thomas Jefferson. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Da Vinci.

Have an okay Saturday until 2pm eastern time and then make sure your day gets much better. Look for anywhere from decent to good.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I have a lot to say about cereal today and it’s all important.

1)I’ve learned to open my Lucky Charms from the bottom instead of the top. Just the little things can change the world.
2)The Girl likes Corn Flakes and the box won’t fit in any cabinet so it has to stay on the counter…total disaster.

That’s actually all I have to say about cereal. This is a bad remark…please embrace it.

Commodus: I call it love, Gracchus. The people are my children, I am their father. I shall hold them to my bosom and embrace them tightly...
Gracchus: Have you ever embraced someone dying of plague, sire?
-Gladiator

According to my people, who first conceptualized the helicopter? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was University of Texas.

Have a wonderful Friday please.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Remember when we did that survey over the past couple of days? Well, for all of those who participated…thank you. We’ll for sure be figuring out a way to automate adding your Moosejaw points for surveys before I can do this again. I have some sort of carpel tunnel but I like it. Lots of people email that a double rewards promo is the best way to go. So, I in the spirit of despotism I just wanted to remind everyone that we have a double rewards promo going on right about now. Please check out the home page when you’re bored.

I was at a meeting yesterday and a lady asked if I wanted to split a sandwich with her. I assume that means she likes me. I hope she’s reading this now and that I never see her again. It was plain turkey on some sort of gorgeous roll.

Section Three because I’m boring.

did Wes Anderson go to college? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Eloise.

Have a decent Thursday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Someone switched my chair and my computer monitor to some sort of fancy versions that I can’t use. The resolution on the monitor is all whack and everything looks like it is a mile away or it’s blurry. The chair is too low and too cushiony and I have to sit on my leg. Technology has done us no good.

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity
-Whitney

Section Three.

In Rushmore what was Max Fisher’s mom’s name? Today is another auto-reply day. It wasn’t supposed to be an auto-reply day but I got so super slammed yesterday that I am still catching up. Who cares about me and my issues? Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Have an incredible Wednesday please.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We need a little help. Can you please choose your favorite promo from all of the following ideas? If you reply and you have an existing Moosejaw account I’ll add 101 Moosejaw points to your account. Just one reply per human person.

Promos….

1)Double Moosejaw Rewards Points on your next order
2)Free $20 hat with any jacket order over $99
3)Free 2-day air shipping with any order over $99
4)Free Moosejaw tee shirt with any order over $99

We are considering the question above today’s question so there will be no other question. Also, I am doing an auto-reply today but please assume that I will take care of adding your points and tallying up all the results and all that fun stuff. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply and to vote.

Yesterday’s answer was William Goebel.

Have an alright Tuesday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I played cards last night. Even though I was the best player I was losing everything and got up to leave. Everyone hated me for getting up to leave early so I decided to play ye’ ol’ one more hand. I lost but decided to play another. Then I played more and I ended up winning. And, I didn’t just win money. I feel like I won a better prize and that is the prize of friendship.

I believe that children of our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Q-Whitney

Great win for Michigan on Saturday. Nice work and thanks for coming out.

Who was the only US governor to be assassinated while in office? I’m pretty sure there is a distinction between assassination and attempted assassinated so please keep that in mind during your next geometry test. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was water.

Have the greatest Monday ever.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Chazz: [Referring to his program] I hope you’ve brought your silver polish, MacElroy, 'cause that was gold.
Jimmy: That was disgusting.
Chazz: THAT, young man, is how babies are made.
-Blades of Glory

What’s the first ingredient listed on a bottle of rain-flavored Gatorade? This may not be what you think it is. Or, it may be. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from people who I have seen in a hat. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was 116 years.

Have a good Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Michigan-Penn State today. Remember a few weeks ago when Michigan hadn’t lost to Appalachian State yet? That was fun. Since then I’ve really lost that je ne sais quoi. I feel like a bar of soap having lost its wings. Like true love having succumbed to the trappings of a society that cannot help but press until all our resources have vanished. Because, one cannot stop nature. We must explore. I am astronaut McNaughton of the Conductor Core…welcome to our planet and please enjoy some apricot juice.

Sorry about that. Also, there will be no section three and I predict I get a flat tire on the way to Ann Arbor because of it. You’ll probably get a flat today too.

According to my people, the Hundred Years’ War lasted how many years? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from people not named Ronald. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was homing pigeons.

Have a phenomenal Saturday please.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Emergency…KC at Moosejaw gave me some special spray to clean my monitor and it could not have worked any better. It’s called Invisible Glass and it’s made by Stoner and it will for sure melt my screen but for now today is the best day of my life. It really is made by Stoner, by the way.

It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black.
-Nigel Tufnel, Spinal Tap

In the 1850’s, what did Reuters use to speed up the delivery of news between Brussels and Berlin? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Jamaica.

Have the best rest of Friday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Today’s date marks the 61st anniversary of the Cannes Film Festival. As you know, that means its Dance Day at Moosejaw. So, without further ado please follow the following steps…

1)Put you left foot in your kitchen sink.
2)Place your right hand on the top of your head.
3)Put your left hand on a stranger’s thigh.
5)Spin in circles for no less four hours.
6)Just enjoy it.

Columbus used what island for his family’s private estate? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was The Battle of Actium.

Have a really, really good Thursday. Really, really.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I scrolled through some previous remarks today. I’m not into it. I have nothing to say today. I feel like the Statue of Liberty…wonderful and stately but rather stagnant. I’m statuesque. Hi statue. That’s all.

What was the name of the decisive battle fought between the forces of Octavian and Mark Antony? This is the most difficult question ever that I was forced to ask because I was certain I’d get it right and I missed it. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was none.

Have a terrific Wednesday and try to use ‘terrific’ a couple times throughout the day.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Today is the first point swapping day in quite a long time. Quite. If you need less than 500 Moosejaw Rewards points or if you have some Moosejaw points to give please email me and we’ll make some people who are close to getting something they love just a little bit happier today. As always, please keep in mind that the world is unjust.

I have learned that I don’t care for frosting but I love icing.

I am considering switching from Sportsline.com to ESPN.com. I am waiting for some offers. More to come.

Happiest Birthday ever to Georgie. Please get Georgie a card.

Have you seen the new site yet?

That’s all.

How many Newbery Awards did Dr. Seuss win? The Newbery Award is the award given to an author for the most outstanding book for children. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Liberty.

Have an okay Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Great night of switching stations last night unless you needed the Yankees to lose, you bet on the Chargers and you prefer the Daytime Emmy’s…although the Daily Show, Colbert Report, Conan, Bill Maher and Letterman intro thing was great. If you know Bill Maher please tell him that bathroom thing was good.

In case you were wondering… I prefer celebrities in their civies as opposed to fancy dresses.

This is a copy of the email I sent to my friend who took care of placing our Sunday bets…
The Girl and I went without dinner tonight because of your shit bets.
Betting is illegal so don’t do it. I don’t do it. George Clooney probably doesn’t either and he couldn’t be more handsome.

Please check out the new site when you’re bored. It’s good too.

What was the presidential nickname given to Michael Douglas in The American President? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Proust.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Olive: I'd like to dedicate this to my grandpa, who showed me these moves.
Pagaent MC: Aww, that is so sweet.
[Audience applauds]
Pagaent MC: Is he here? Where is your grandpa right now.
Olive: In the trunk of our car.
-Little Miss Sunshine
In the movie Little Miss Sunshine, Steve Carell was an expert regarding what author? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include two quotes from the person who is the answer, one quote from Steve Carell and one quote from Roger Clemens. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this wonderful text..

Yesterday’s answer was helium.

Have a decent Sunday.
Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Emergency. Please check out the new Moosejaw.com right now…or whenever you’re bored. Please expect me to write about it everyday except for all the days I don’t write about it.

What president signed the legislation that established the US Military Academy? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Argentina.

Have the best Friday ever.

Love the Madness
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I went to the Tigers’ game last night. My favorite part of the game is definitely passing money and food down the row of people. I counted a total of $88.25 passed back and forth. The most popular item ordered was beer followed by peanuts. The people to the right of me ordered beers and then realized it was light beer and sent it back to the beer man. I had never seen that before and it’s actually true. Also, the girl to the left of me for sure liked me and she wasn’t terrible looking. Can I say that? That’s all.

What is the second most populous country in South America? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was a baboon.

Have a pretty good Thursday.

Love the Madness
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

If I had to choose between clean sheets every day or freshly washed rugs in the bathroom I’d go with the clean sheets but it would be close.

I watched the Shining last night. It’s scary. I don’t particularly like scary movies. Silence of the Lambs is scary. So is Seven.

If I could be more boring today I would be. You see sometimes it’s important to do an awful Daily Remark so the other remarks re better. In the marketing world we call this Operation Carnation. Don’t bother looking it up…it’s very secretive.

At the end of Rocky III, when Rocky and Apollo Creed were about to fight, Rocky was wearing yellow trunks. What color were Creed’s trunks? Sorry for saying trunks. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Twenty-One.

Have an alright Tuesday.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

After making a stupid bet that was not approved by anyone at Moosejaw, the Eugene, Oregon Daily Remark Club won a trip to Joshua Tree on Moosejaw. That’s not entirely true but, unless you like to suffer, it was another bad Saturday in Ann Arbor. Fortunately, my glands are swollen, my throat hurts and I can barely swallow. Also, no one likes me.

Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from. Which is why the Matrix was redesigned to this: the peak of your civilization.
-Agent Smith, The Matrix

The movie Quiz Show was based on what television show? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com and no looking it up unless, of course, you want to look it up.

Yesterday’s answer was Bruce Lee.

Have a kick ass Monday and sorry about the whole kick ass thing.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Happiest Birthday ever to Laura B. If you know Laura she said no gifts… just cards.
-Shoeless Joe Jackson, Eight Men Out

Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.
-Crash Davis, Bull Durham

And then? And then when I walked down the street people would've looked and they would've said there goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was in this game.
-Roy Hobbs, The Natural

You know we just don't recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they're happening. Back then I thought, well, there'll be other days. I didn't realize that that was the only day.
-Moonlight Graham, Field of Dreams

In Saturday Night Fever, the first time we see Tony in his room getting ready to go out the camera focuses in on a few different posters on the wall. Who is featured in the first poster we see? The second and third posters are of Rocky and Farah Fawcett. This is the hardest question ever but I am forced to ask it because I was positive I would get it right and I missed it. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from the person who is the answer. Can you hardly? Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Joseph Story. He was 32.

Have a fantastic Sunday. Really.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I predict Michigan wins by two in a tight game and I won’t enjoy a single second of it. I am a little hung over which is perfect for the tailgate and my teeth look especially white which is perfect for all my ladies. Did I just say that? No one likes me. Actually, no one even cares about me enough to dislike me. I can think of someone I dislike but it’s only because he doesn’t like me and it’s because I hit his car a little bit with my car. Who would not like someone for that? It’s not like it was a hit and run. I actually didn’t hit his car…I opened my door into his truck and then told him about it and I didn’t think it was a big deal at all. Lucky for me that I carry a sword with me everywhere.

Who was the youngest justice appointed to the US Supreme Court? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include two quotes from Abraham Lincoln, one quote from Abe Vigoda in The Godfather and one quote from Mary-Kate Olsen. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Saturn.

Have the fourth best Saturday of the month.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Why don’t they make a shower with settings that has the water mixed with soap and another setting for a water/shampoo mix and another for water/conditioner mix? Think of the time we’d all save that could be better spent on cleaning the house or preparing to take out the garbage. If you steal this idea please name it after me. I think something like the TAS which stands for Trapper’s Awesome Shower is perfect. You may also want to consider making the hot water cold and the cold water hot just in case.

What planet is the least dense? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was James Polk.

Have an amazing Friday please.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Why isn’t sure spelled shure?

I was at an in-studio Moosejaw photo shoot yesterday. I spent most of my time encouraging people to smoke. That’s not funny.

I watched The American President last night. I don’t particularly like the president’s daughter. She was great in Little Giants though.

I’m doing a twelve mile trail run tomorrow night. I haven’t run once in a month. Following the run I hope to be miserable through at least Sunday. I hope I get shin splints. I hope I see a squirrel during my run. I’ll probably name the squirrel Pasquali the Squirrel and try to show him my new shoes. If little Pasquali runs up a tree I’d consider telling everyone about my addiction to avocados.

Remember when Michigan lost to Appalachian State last week.

Is this Section Six? Yes, indeed it is. Welcome.

The law that established the Smithsonian was enacted during whose presidency? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Luxembourg.

Have a fine Thursday. Fine as in fine, fine.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

In an effort to remain in denial I have answered very few phone calls or emails about the Michigan game this past Saturday. Although my fall is ruined and I have nothing to live for aside from my decent hygiene and nightly ice cream I am over it. Dear harsh world…welcome back. I am ready to embrace you as a friend.

What country has the highest GDP (gross domestic product) per capita in the world? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. Here’s what Wikipedia says about GDP jic... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gross_domestic_product.

Yesterday’s answer was Miami.

Have the greatest Wednesday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have the eleventh best monthly contest of the year this month. It is all about love and divesting oneself of all that is important and focusing on that which is trivial and superfluous. Please click I only care about my hair to check it out.

According to my people, what US city has the worst road rage? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the fifth.

Have an alright Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Labor Day emergency…The Girl did Reiki and liked it. I don’t believe in super powers and have no interest in having anything to do with psychics or Reiki or ghosts. The Girl wants me to be more open so I am trading going to Reiki for The Girl making my lunch for a full week. More details to come as soon as possible.

I am keeping the remark short today to honor short people.

Section three.

Section four.

Section six.

Section seven to say that section five was invisible.

The earth’s moon ranks where among moons in our solar system…2nd biggest, 5th biggest or 7th biggest? In the trivia business we call this a multiple choice question and it is special for Labor Day. What is even more special is that it is a Labor Day auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from people who are alive right now. Please email me at
Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Montgomery.

Have an awesome Labor Day. Yes, I said awesome. Actually, I didn’t say it…I typed it.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Will: Beethoven, okay. He looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play.
Skylar: So what are you saying? You play the piano?
Will: No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I probably can't hit the ball out of Fenway, and I can't play the piano.
Skylar: But you can do my o-chem paper in under an hour.
Will: Right. Well, I mean when it came to stuff like that... I could always just play.
-Good Will Hunting

What city preceded Richmond as the capital of the Confederacy? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include three quotes from Clint Eastwood and one quote from Copernicus. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was So You Think You Can Dance.

Have an amazing rest of Sunday. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I have forgotten to bring a new bar of soap into the shower with me now a record twenty days in a row which forces me to use The Girl's soft soap which I don’t like all that much. There must be something in my subconscious or a past life that is causing me to forget. I probably have special powers. I will be discussing this with my analyst as soon as possible.

I have been going to a drive through Starbucks. Please don’t tell anyone.

I enjoy nothing more than Web Gems.

First Michigan game of the year today. Gets no better. If you’re at the game please look for me. I’ll be in shorts and a tee shirt and a hat.

Hi Trapper. You sure are boring.

In 2005 Dick Clark canceled plans to revive American Bandstand and launched this show in its place? What is the show? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include two quotes from Dick Clark, one quote from Run-DMC and one quote from Descartes. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply.

Yesterday’s answer was Mauna Loa.

Have a decent rest of Saturday please.

Love the Madness

Trapper
Moosejaw.com