Moosejaw Daily Madness

February 28, 2006

I thought about organizing the garbage cans a little better to make it easier to take out the garbage later today but I stopped myself. I am positive that a few Daily Remark clubs around the nation will figure out a way to get me a trashmasher for my birthday. Thank you in advance. Actually, please forget the trashmasher. If the garbage didn’t bother me so much it would just be something else so it might as well be the garbage.

I heard Motley Crue Home Sweet Home this morning followed by Barry Manillow’s Mandy. I almost cried. Could a day start any better? Please don’t answer that.

Regarding yesterday’s vote…..

First place goes to RideMoosejaw.com followed by thejaw.com which was in a very close second. Thanks everyone for voting. Not really, thanks.

What paper currency is used only in transactions between the Federal Reserve System and the Treasury Department? I am asking for a dollar amount such as the $5 bill. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Have a decent Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 27, 2006

This Fall we’ll be carrying everything for snowboarding… 686, Bonfire, Burton, Dakine, Forum, Four Square, Quiksilver, RipCurl, Roxy, Salomon, Sessions, Smith, Vans, Westbeach, etc. That was in alphabetical order. Anyway, we’re super excited about.

We are coming up with a name for our new snowboarding website. Currently the options are SnowboardMoosejaw.com, Moosejawsnowboard.com, TheJaw.com and RideMoosejaw.com. If you email your vote for your favorite name to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com I’ll add 75 Moosejaw Reward points to your account. Because I’ll be spending the entire day adding points it will be an auto reply day. Thanks for coming out and please tell everyone that I am not funny or interesting.

Yesterday’s answer was Detlef Schrempf.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 26, 2006

Hey Paula, I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. For the first time- today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD that you've been playing for two years straight off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain.
-David, 40 Year Old Virgin

Please note that this was the only quote from the movie that did not require lots of editing. Please make sure no one shoots anyone. Thanks.

Who was the first European basketball player to be named an All Star? If you would like to see today’s auto-reply as well as my favorite athlete when I was little please email Trapper@moosejaw.com. If you prefer some banter please email your Daily remark group or say something bizarre to a stranger.

Yesterday’s answer was John Goodman and Alec Baldwin.

Have an amazing Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 25, 2006

This is not a joke….this is where I am going today:

Go Here!

The girl and I are taking her nephew for his birthday. I get a twenty minute massage for going and if the kid cries I can walk around.

Steve Martin has hosted SNL most. What two people are tied for second? If you want to see today’s auto-reply which will include the answer as well as how many times I have thrown up since New Years please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. I just laughed. Sorry about it.

Have an amazing Saturday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 24, 2006

Dear the girl,

As you know I often start my day with a Healthy Choice Vanilla Ice Cream sandwich. This morning I put the ice cream sandwich down somewhere in the house and then couldn’t remember where I put it. I looked for it for at least forty-five minutes and left without finding it. Ooops. I am dumb. Please don’t hate me if you find it melted somewhere. I bet I left it in the sink and it vanished with no trace by the time I checked the sink.

According to the Naples Daily Remark Club, on an average day in 2005 was more money printed for Monopoly or the US Treasury? Please email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Keri Russell from Felicity.

Have the best Friday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 23, 2006

Last night neither the girl nor I felt well. So, in the middle of the night the girl got the premonition that our house was poisoned so she took the carbon monoxide detector and plugged it into every outlet and then looked online to see what the readings meant. We were not being poisoned and I couldn’t fall back asleep. I have been up since 3am. Who cares about me? Please don’t answer that.

I forgot to tell everyone that the vote was overwhelming for us to start doing Podcasts so we’re going to do it. We're still sending out the Daily Remark in email everyday, though. I'm sure you weren't worried but I thought I'd let you know jic. More to come later.

What TV star appeared in Bon Jovi’s ‘Always’ video? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was It Happened One Night.

Have a decent Thursday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 22, 2006

I was thinking about what a great invention the hole at the top of the sink is when I was brushing my teeth yesterday and then last night I had to go to the bar and when someone asked me what I did for a living I told them that my family invented the Horace Drain (after great grandpa Horace Von Trapper who originally patented the Horace Drain) in sinks and that I have been in court fighting over patent rights to use the Horace Drain in the bathtub and while we fight it out in the courts water is spilling over the sides of bathtubs everywhere and its ruining everything. I became quite passionate about it. I also win longest sentence of the year for this remark. No one likes me.

What was the first movie to win Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Screenplay? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Photoplay.

Have an outstanding Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 21, 2006

I saw two great commercials last night…the new Nike Michael Jordan ad with the kids playing like Michael and the ESPN ad with Danica Patrick and Dan Patrick. The Michael Jordan ad would have been better if they had not had Jordan in it. This is my first time writing about commercials in two and a half years. I will be sure to tell my analyst about it jic. I will be taking the garbage out in about ten hours. My day is ruined.

What was the first magazine dedicated to movie fans? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. This is the most difficult question ever so if you get it right please tell everyone. I promised the Daily Remarker that asked me the question that I would use it if I didn’t know it.

Yesterday’s question didn’t really have a correct answer. Don’t you hate that? Please don’t answer that.

Have a good Tuesday. Not great but good.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 20, 2006

So, here’s how I screwed up the baby party I went to Saturday…..*

There is something called a Tot Lock. I have talked about them before. They are super magnets that are used to open cabinets that are somehow locked so babies and kids can’t open drawers and stuff like that. Well, I found a metal napkin holder thing and a few kids and decided to have a Tot Lock throwing contest. The goal was to throw the Tot Lock super magnet and make it stick to the napkin holder. To make a long story shorter we ended up whipping Tot Locks across the room at the napkin holder until we made enough of a racket to get in trouble by the girl’s mom. Halfway through the contest I found myself wanting to break something just to make a better Daily Remark. I blamed the entire event on a ten year old.

*Please go here to see the Saturday remark for background information. Or don’t.

Today’s question is more of a survey than a regular question and as long as you have a current email account at Moosejaw I’ll give add 50 Moosejaw Reward Points to your account for answering. Because I’ll be spending all day adding Moosejaw points to accounts please assume my reply today will be an auto reply.

Do you think we should do Podcasts at Moosejaw? We can have the Daily Remark, for example, as a Podcast. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com to let me know what you think.

Yesterday’s answer was Italy.

Have the best Monday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 18, 2006

I am going to the girl’s nephew’s one year old baby party today. It is only family yet there are thirty-three people invited. I am sure to do something stupid and be the most disliked in the room. Even though I suggested a baseball glove and bat, slip in slide, Dairy Queen gift certificates or machete we ended up getting the kid a kitchen thing.

Today’s question comes from the Concord Daily Remark Club. What has happened more recently….the US government added an amendment to the Constitution or the Giants won the Superbowl? Today is an auto-reply day so if you would like to see the auto-reply as well as my regular order at Starbucks please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Midnight Cowboy.

Have an amazing Saturday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 17, 2006

I woke up this morning to discover that my dog went to the bathroom on the carpet last night. So, I got a gun and killed him. Just kidding. Don’t be mad. Really, look how fast I wrote just kidding. I considered pretending not to see anything so the girl would clean it when she woke up but I felt awful about even considering that option. It was a disastrous mess and would have been impossible to clean. So, I got a box cutter and cut out the carpet. I almost threw up. The girl woke up to discover a ripped up carpet and is certain that it could have been cleaned. Now we’re getting new carpet and I am the new dumbest person in the world. At least I didn’t kill the dog though.

What was the only X rated movie to ever win Best Picture? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was less than a year.

Have an outstanding Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 16, 2006

Very exciting news…if you get the answer to today’s question right and you have a current account at Moosejaw I’ll add 150 Moosejaw Reward Points to your account. If you get the question wrong you can still tell your friends you got it right and no one will know.

Please note … blueberries are more purple than blue. No words rhyme with purple or orange other than durple and nornage but those aren’t real words. I couldn’t sleep last night so I got on the elliptical and watched TV on mute from 3 to 5. I pretended I was being tortured. I am completely uninteresting.

After the Beatles broke up in 1970 how long did it take for all four Beatles to release a solo album? Less than five years, less than four years, less than three years, less than two years or less than one year. Please note that if the answer is less than three years only less than three years is right…less than four years and less than five years won’t count. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Devo.

Have the best Thursday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 15, 2006

It is garbage day and I’ll be spending most of my time thinking about having to bring the cans in. Maybe I’ll try roping the two garbage cans and recycling bin to the back of my car and dragging everything down the twelve foot driveway behind me. Or perhaps I can have a neighborhood raffle and someone can win the privilege of dealing with garbage day. I’m thinking the winner of the raffle gets to handle everything related to garbage day and if a girl wins she can have the added bonus of giving me a foot massage after a long run. If my business works I’ll post franchise information immediately.

What 1980’s band wore lampshades on their heads? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was water.

Have the greatest Wednesday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 14, 2006

The girl and I decided to not celebrate Valentine’s Day. Do you think that she thinks I am really going to get her something anyway? Please don’t answer that. I think I am going to give her a drawing of an Ipod Nano thing. Before you decide that it’s a bad gift please remember that you haven’t seen me draw.

Today’s question comes from Stephanie. It’s Stephanie’s birthday today so even though I don’t really get the question I’m using it anyway. Here we go….Dogs, pigs and other animals can taste this but humans can’t. What is this? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com and if your answer is different than Stephanie’s and you still think you’re right please take it up with your congressperson. Person.

Yesterday’s answer was Computer Tabulating Recording Company.

Have an okay Valentine’s Day.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 13, 2006

My auto-starter on my car works from the terminal in the Detroit airport all the way to the parking structure and I am not getting engaged for Valentines.

When the bar of soap gets too small to use you should be able to put it somewhere to collect with other little bars of unusable soap to eventually create a useable bar of soap. Just one more small step to saving the world.

Lastly, I started a new book. The cover is a stunning bluish purple.

According to the San Diego Daily Remark Club what was the first magazine format television show? I have no idea what magazine format technically means but you’ve probably seen the show. Today is an auto reply day. So, if you would like to see the answer as well as my shoe size please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the Today Show.

Have an amazing Monday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 12, 2006

Give up, just quit, because in this life, you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end you're just gonna lose, big time, because the world is run by the Man. The Man, oh, you don't know the Man. He's everywhere. In the White House... down the hall... Ms. Mullins, she's the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man. It was called rock 'n roll, but guess what, oh no, the Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the Man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!
-Dewey Finn, School of Rock

According to the San Diego Daily Remark Club what was the first magazine format television show? I have no idea what magazine format technically means but you’ve probably seen the show. Today is an auto reply day. So, if you would like to see the answer as well as my shoe size please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. If you prefer some banter please email all your Daily Remark friends and enemies.

Yesterday’s answer was Clinton.

Have the best Sunday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 11, 2006

I got my haircut yesterday. Before the haircut I told the haircut lady I was in the middle of solving a minor disaster and would she mind if I was on my Blackberry the entire haircut. I told her I wouldn’t be talking and wouldn’t even look up. She said perfect. Well, halfway through the haircut I was sending some outrageous, non-sensical, mindless email to a Daily Remarker when the haircut lady looked over my shoulder, read the email and said something like “that’s the important work you have to do. I’m not offended at all.” I was caught and there was no getting out of it. I mumbled some sort of apology and I will be looking for a new haircut place. Thanks for hearing me out.

Who was the first US President to outline a balanced budget since 1960? If you are interested in an auto-reply that will include my favorite show currently on television please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. If you prefer some banter please save the answer for your next Daily Remark meeting.

Yesterday’s answer was Tennessee.

Have a decent Saturday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 10, 2006

I watched Dazed and Confused last night…it gets no better. Definitely every actor who was in the movie’s best movie. I can’t stand that sentence. I hope it makes sense.

I went to a Starbucks’s drive through for the first time today. Everything about it was bad.

Someone told me I was cute at dinner last night. That’s not true.

In what state was Scopes arrested for teaching the theory of evolution? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was one.

Have an amazing Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 9, 2006

I borrowed a friend’s val pack for a wedding a year ago and never gave it back to him. I have a wedding out of town this weekend and I’m using his val pack again. He called for his luggage last night and I told him I needed it and he needs to borrow someone else’s luggage. I also told him that I would have preferred that he had nicer luggage. I was laughing the entire time. The girl is quite upset about it and thinks I’m the worst person in the world. I told her that’s just what boys do. I’m a boy.

According to a brilliant Daily Remarker who preferred he not be mentioned, how many mirrors are there in a Liquid Crystal Display (LCD)? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Please note that really I cannot recall the Daily Remarkers name right now and I feel awful about it. I am cutting off one of my fingers.

Yesterday’s answer was 1988.

Have an okay Thursday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 8, 2006

If you are in the high school Facebook thing please read the following and sign up for Hannah’s tribute to madness. The following is from Hannah. She is great………

1. To log into their Facebook account
2. Click on "My Groups"
3. Scroll down to the bottom of the page and type "moosejaw" into the "Search Groups" box and click "Search Groups".
4. The group "Moosejaw Lovers" should come up, and they should click on it.
5. When they are at the "Moosejaw Lovers" page, there is a link on the right hand side that says "Join this group", which they should click on.
6. By clicking it, they automatically become members of the group.

Easy peasy!! This will, unfortunately, only work for high school Facebook, because they don't allow the high school and college to interact. But soon (in April when I get into college) I'll make one for college too. Thanks for the reward points!

Love,
Hannah

In what year did CD’s outsell records for the first time…1987, 1988 or 1990? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was John Quincy Adams.

Have the greatest Wednesday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 7, 2006

If you are a Daily Remark regular you will get the following remark. If you are new to the Daily Remark you probably won’t care about the following so please feel excluded the rest of the day. Care was the wrong word….no one will care. Here we go…

Last night I brought my ice cream into bed. On my way upstairs I told the girl I was determined to leave my bowl upstairs instead of being so OCD that I had to get the bowl clean asap. Lo and behold I did it.

Things are going to start happening to me now.
-Navin R. Johnson

What US President had a pet alligator? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. If you get it right and you already have a Moosejaw account I will add 200 Moosejaw Reward points to your account today. Please don’t tell anyone about it because I don’t want to spend my entire day adding points. I’m sure the bosses would be pleased to see me trying to make business worse.

Yesterday’s answer was Marshall Faulk.

Have a decent Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 6, 2006

I didn’t see Ja Rule or anyone else famous at the fancy party I went to Friday night nor the rest of the weekend. Who cares about me? Please don’t answer that.

Great news for everyone who can’t stand a long and drawn out Daily Remark….the Daily Remark is now being printed and posted near the counter in all our shops and has to fit in some little Plexiglas thing so I have to keep my text short. This remark is already too long. I think it is a hint that no one likes me and I’ll be out on the streets in a matter of days. I’m going to stop typing now.

In case you haven’t had enough NFL talk recently…..What current NFL player has the most touchdowns? By current I mean that he played in 2005. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was a rat.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 5, 2006

John Beckwith: Hey, listen. What angle are you going to play here?
Jeremy Grey: I am going to go with the balloon animal display. For the kids. And then when she comes near, guess who is the broken man, haunted past? How about you?
John Beckwith: I am going to go dance with the little flower girl. Oh, and I might be a charter member of Oprah's book club.
Jeremy Grey: It's all deadly.
-Wedding Crashers

According to Hannah what animal can survive the longest without water? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was a twit.

Have the greatest Sunday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 4, 2006

I am writing this on Friday because I plan to not go to sleep until 4am tonight and wake up at 2pm Saturday which is way late for the Daily Remark. Please note that I usually go to bed around 10pm and wake up at 4:30am and I bet I don’t even make it past midnight tonight. Please note that ‘tonight’ is really last night because you’re reading this on Saturday. Please look forward to a full update regarding my night as soon as possible.

More importantly, the two candies that I think look good that I don’t think taste good are those orange peanut marshmallow things and the cadbury chocolate marshmallow egg things.

According to Margie what is a pregnant goldfish called? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. Today is an auto-reply day but the auto-reply will include a copy and paste from a song I like.

Yesterday’s answer was Dennis Miller.

Have a decent Saturday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 3, 2006

Last night we had Adrenaline Rush by OB Trice playing in the office when a bunch of suits came in. You’d think it was funny if you knew the words. Please note that I don’t know anything about anything including OB Trice. If you get offended by anything don’t look up the song lyrics. Actually, the whole story isn’t funny and I feel bad about talking about the suits in a public forum. Anything.

By the way, I checked the bugs when I got home yesterday and they were all dead.

Hours away from Ja Rule.

Who hosted the first MTV Movie Awards? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the 1940’s.

Have an amazing Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 2, 2006

I saw a bug of some sort crawling around in the light in the shower this morning. I felt bad for the bug so I turned the light off. While I was in the shower my plan was to undo the light and save the bug and set it free outside. However, I forgot about it entirely and now I’m at work and the bug is probably dead as dead. If it was a just world I would be eaten by a goat today.

Ja Rule Friday night.

In what decade did the US last make an official declaration of War? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was an aglet.

Have the best Thursday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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February 1, 2006

I am now definitely going to a fancy Superbowl party this Friday night. I will definitely hate it. Hates a strong word. I know. Sorry about it. No you’re not. Okay, you’re right.

What do you do when Roadhouse and Remember the Titans are both on TV? Please don’t answer that but it happened to me last night.

I only bet for fun but I bet for fun on the Seahawks on Sunday.

This is my favorite question ever because it is the only question anyone has ever submitted that I didn’t know. Thanks to Lisa in Tahoe for sending it in. What are the little plastic things on the end of your shoelaces called? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer is that you can get to your motel room through the parking lot but you need to go through the lobby to get to your hotel room.

Have a decent Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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