Monday, July 31, 2006
The girl left me a note this morning. The title was Things I'm Mad at You About. Here is the list.
I wrote the following on her note. Please read the Daily Remark this morning. Here is my reply.
Dear the Girl,
I'll fix everything and I love you so much I can barely take it.
Love.
How many Vice Presidents served under more than one President? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Hippocrates.
Have a decent Monday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
- You bumped my car into the garage yesterday and messed up the bumper and I have to get it fixed. You also broke the driver side mirror a while ago so I'll get that fixed too.
- You left wet towels in my car from Saturday and it smells terrible in my car.
- What happened in your childhood that you can just ruin things and not only not mention anything to me but not even care about it?
I wrote the following on her note. Please read the Daily Remark this morning. Here is my reply.
Dear the Girl,
I'll fix everything and I love you so much I can barely take it.
Love.
How many Vice Presidents served under more than one President? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Hippocrates.
Have a decent Monday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Glenn's buddy: Robbie Hart? Oh, man, I heard what happened to you at your wedding, that was so cold! You must've felt like s**t!
Robbie: No it felt real good, thanks for bringing that up, man. Hey, my parents died when I was ten, would you like to talk about that?
Glenn's buddy: Why would I wanna talk about that?
Robbie: I don't know.
-The Wedding Singer
According to a friend of mine who claims he'll end up being a real doctor one day, which Greek physician is commonly known as the father of medicine? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include four quotes from dead people. Sorry for talking about dead people in the movie quote and here. The four quotes will be from people who aren't alive. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this super exciting auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was Sweden.
Have the best Sunday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Great news...it is a guest Daily Remark day. Today's remark comes from Wendy. Please note that I once liked a girl named Wendy and her dad called me once to ask who I was. I was caught off guard and cowered like a baby. Here we go...
Dear Trapper,
This is an actual email that was sent out at my agency:
Good Afternoon Staff,
Tomorrow morning, at 10:30, (name of person) from (name of company) will be here to set up our brand new shredder. Please join us, as there will be an introductory period on how to use and care for the shredder. Please email me if you would like to come.
Thanks, and I hope to see you there.
According to my people, what was the first country to have a census? Do you have a census or is a census issued or decreed or something like that? Please don't answer that. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include four quotes from people who probably never played basketball. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.comfor this riveting auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was three.
Have a good Saturday. Not great but good.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Dear Trapper,
This is an actual email that was sent out at my agency:
Good Afternoon Staff,
Tomorrow morning, at 10:30, (name of person) from (name of company) will be here to set up our brand new shredder. Please join us, as there will be an introductory period on how to use and care for the shredder. Please email me if you would like to come.
Thanks, and I hope to see you there.
According to my people, what was the first country to have a census? Do you have a census or is a census issued or decreed or something like that? Please don't answer that. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include four quotes from people who probably never played basketball. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.comfor this riveting auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was three.
Have a good Saturday. Not great but good.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, July 28, 2006
Dating Girl and I are in a dispute about who had the better home page. We determined the only way to solve it is to put it to a vote. So, please click on Trapper and Dating Girl to check out which you like best. I will get the election results out as soon as possible.
Less importantly, how many of the three Lord of the Rings movies won MTV's Best Movie award? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
When we do these survey things I get somewhere in the neighborhood of seven million replies. So, today will be a special auto-reply Friday. Enjoy.
Yesterday's answer was Ted Williams.
Have an incredible Friday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Less importantly, how many of the three Lord of the Rings movies won MTV's Best Movie award? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
When we do these survey things I get somewhere in the neighborhood of seven million replies. So, today will be a special auto-reply Friday. Enjoy.
Yesterday's answer was Ted Williams.
Have an incredible Friday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, July 27, 2006
- Before caller id I never answered the phone but I was pretty good at making a phony.
- My mom is considering starting smoking.
- The softball playoffs start next week and not this week. A few of us said we are going to scout some of the teams that didn't get a bye tonight but I am fairly certain that won't happen. I don't even know if we got a real bye but how often do you get to type 'bye?' Not often, okay.
- I am babysitting the girls sister's kid by myself for one hour tonight. The kid will supposedly be sleeping the entire time but I predict I ruin everything or at least something.
What player holds the record for all time best on base percentage? Please note, we are only counting players with a minimum of 5,000 at bats. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Andrew Johnson.
Have a phenomenal Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
- Someone who just started working at Moosejaw won't eat anything white.
- The girl who sits next to me will only eat things in two's.
- The boy that sits on the other side of me won't have anything with sugar in it because he wants his teeth to look like George Harrison. I mean George Hamilton.
- Can someone please get a film crew in here? We'd be a thousand times better than that Blow Out show and just a little bit worse than Real World and S Club 7.
Who was the only US President to become a Senator following his presidency? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Turkey.
Have the greatest Wednesday of your life.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
I get about ten Cialis and Viagra junk emails a day. Does anyone in the world open these emails and order something? Please don't answer that. One time a boy at Moosejaw ordered an IUD and some sponges to the office. The shippers opened the package by accident and then told everyone about it. That was a fun day.
Which of the following country's capital city is not the biggest city in the country...France, Italy, Spain or Turkey? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Louisiana.
Have a pretty good Tuesday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
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Which of the following country's capital city is not the biggest city in the country...France, Italy, Spain or Turkey? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Louisiana.
Have a pretty good Tuesday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
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- Add to my blog
Monday, July 24, 2006
- Someone from Moosejaw was on a plane yesterday and ended up in the window seat next to two people who were eating hardboiled eggs and kissing the entire flight. The FAA lists hardboiled egg eating as a worse fate than an engine going out or copilot dying.
- I had a hard boiled egg on a dinner salad Saturday night.
- I haven't kissed any girl except for the girl in four years.
- Softball playoffs start Thursday. I predict I am so wound up by game time that I go 0-4.
- Sorry about that copilot dying thing.
What US state has the greatest percentage of its citizens in prison than any other? Please note that my statistics are as of the year 2000. Please note, they really aren't my statistics. The question was submitted by Lloyd who is a great Daily Remarker from San Diego. San Diago. I guessed Texas. I was wrong. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was 0.
Have an incredible Monday. You might as well.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, July 23, 2006
One time I had a friend who asked me if I'd like to play the piccolo but I said no.
-Amber Cole, A Mighty Wind
How many Grammy Awards has Led Zeppelin won - 0,1 or 4? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include four quotes by musicians I have seen in concert. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this super exciting auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was Steven King.
Have the best Sunday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
-Amber Cole, A Mighty Wind
How many Grammy Awards has Led Zeppelin won - 0,1 or 4? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include four quotes by musicians I have seen in concert. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this super exciting auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was Steven King.
Have the best Sunday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, July 22, 2006
I did a shot of tequila last night for the first time since I was a freshman in college. It was terrible. The freshman in college tequila shots landed me naked in an empty bathtub the following morning. Sorry for saying naked.
What writer is given credit for the movie Shawshank Redemption? I don’t love the way this question is posed but I’m sticking with it. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four movie quotes from movies that have at least one prison scene. The auto-reply will surely make your day...please email Trapper@moosejaw.com to take a look.
Yesterday’s answer was Boo Berry.
Have the most outstanding Saturday since at least last Saturday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What writer is given credit for the movie Shawshank Redemption? I don’t love the way this question is posed but I’m sticking with it. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four movie quotes from movies that have at least one prison scene. The auto-reply will surely make your day...please email Trapper@moosejaw.com to take a look.
Yesterday’s answer was Boo Berry.
Have the most outstanding Saturday since at least last Saturday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, July 21, 2006
- The Dating Girl section today will make you weep. Definitely check it out. Or don't.
- Less than two months until Michigan plays at Notre Dame.
- I prefer most rehearsal dinners to the wedding.
- I don't think I've ever had body odor but my sandals don't smell all that good.
- I've never seen Gone with the Wind but I walk around as if I have.
- I can be so shallow that people actually think I'm intellectual.
- When the girl and I go out with another couple I have to make a conscious effort to ask lots of questions so I don't talk about myself the whole time.
- I've watched 40 Year Old Virgin everyday for at least a week. Actually, I just watch the first scene with the egg salad and then change it.
Which cereal was released last.Count Chocula, Frankenberry or Boo Berry? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Roberto Benigni who won Best Actor for Life is Beautiful in 1998.
Have the best Friday in the history of all Fridays.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, July 20, 2006
- Last game of the regular season tonight and then the playoffs begin. Coach is resting me so I hope you bet on the other squad.
- We have a new section of the site that is all about jokes. Please check it out and send something in so that we think someone likes us if nothing else. I have a feeling I am missing some punctuation in that previous sentence.
- Did you know that if you take a 7mm climbing rope and create a figure eight behind your back you are likely fermadextrious and, with a little practice, could probably be doing halftime shows at NBA games? I made all that up because I had nothing else to say but still wanted to take up space in the world.
What actor from a foreign film most recently won the Academy Award for Best Actor? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.
Have an okay Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
- I couldn’t get my garage open this morning so I couldn’t get to my car. Someone picked me up and brought me to work. Being chauffeured was great. I hope I can never get into the garage.
- I have never put on ice skates. I played goalie for a roller hockey team once even though I had never put on roller blades either. We lost to a team of girls once.
- I saw a turtle while I was running yesterday. I don’t care what that fable says there is no chance that slow poke could beat me in any race.
According to my people, what is the largest hotel in the world? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Craig Biggio.
Have an incredible Wednesday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Have you seen the Home Page? I have never felt better about myself. I didn’t even know this was being posted. So, if you are one of the seven thousand people who emailed about it yesterday please know I was as shocked about my death as you were. For about a second I thought I was fired and, I thought that it was such a good way to fire me, that I sort of wish I was fired. Needless to say, with all the attention, I can say these are the best days of my life.
What active major league baseball player has more doubles than any other active player? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was 1...Bill Clinton.
Have the best Tuesday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What active major league baseball player has more doubles than any other active player? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was 1...Bill Clinton.
Have the best Tuesday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, July 17, 2006
There is a mouse in my house. When I saw it I said "hi little mouse." The girl is finding out about it as she reads this. I was going to tell her in person but I thought it would be more entertaining to tell her this way.
Dear the girl,
Sorry about it. I would not blame you for breaking up with me. I could see you with more of a Fabio or Hasselhoff type tomorrow. Someone drenched in a lot of gold. I didn't do anything about the mouse except for say hi to it. Love.
How many democrats have been re-elected president since FDR? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was ET.
Have a decent Monday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Dear the girl,
Sorry about it. I would not blame you for breaking up with me. I could see you with more of a Fabio or Hasselhoff type tomorrow. Someone drenched in a lot of gold. I didn't do anything about the mouse except for say hi to it. Love.
How many democrats have been re-elected president since FDR? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was ET.
Have a decent Monday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, July 16, 2006
And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray.
-Terence Mann, Field of Dreams
What was the highest grossing movie in the 1980's? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today's auto-reply will include two quotes from people involved in the movie that is the answer and two quotes from people who never saw the movie. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this 'day-making' auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was New York City.
Have a fantastic Sunday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
-Terence Mann, Field of Dreams
What was the highest grossing movie in the 1980's? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today's auto-reply will include two quotes from people involved in the movie that is the answer and two quotes from people who never saw the movie. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this 'day-making' auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was New York City.
Have a fantastic Sunday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Today is a guest Daily Remark day. The remark comes from Rachel who was recently named most likely to do something. She wouldn't allow me to say what. Here we go...
Hey Trapper,
I still receive updates from my school even though I'm graduated and I usually delete them...but I couldn't help but open this one...i hit the floor laughing and thought you may as well. Here it is:
Subject: Be aware of hawks near Merrifield Hall Hawks nested near Merrifield create hazard to pedestrians Several people have been attacked by hawks that are protecting their nest just east of Merrifield Hall. These particular hawks have been aggressive and have clawed several victims. At least one attack caused bleeding. Since hawks are a protected species nothing can be done at the present time to minimize the hazard. The problem should correct itself once the baby hawks mature and move out of the nest in three to four weeks. Until then use caution in the area just east of Merrifield Hall.
If you are clawed by a hawk you should consult with a physician about the need for a tetanus shot.
According to my people what US city was home to the first aquarium in America? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today's auto-reply will include three quotes from ladies who still alive. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this exciting auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was Switzerland.
Have a great, great Saturday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Hey Trapper,
I still receive updates from my school even though I'm graduated and I usually delete them...but I couldn't help but open this one...i hit the floor laughing and thought you may as well. Here it is:
Subject: Be aware of hawks near Merrifield Hall Hawks nested near Merrifield create hazard to pedestrians Several people have been attacked by hawks that are protecting their nest just east of Merrifield Hall. These particular hawks have been aggressive and have clawed several victims. At least one attack caused bleeding. Since hawks are a protected species nothing can be done at the present time to minimize the hazard. The problem should correct itself once the baby hawks mature and move out of the nest in three to four weeks. Until then use caution in the area just east of Merrifield Hall.
If you are clawed by a hawk you should consult with a physician about the need for a tetanus shot.
According to my people what US city was home to the first aquarium in America? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today's auto-reply will include three quotes from ladies who still alive. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this exciting auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was Switzerland.
Have a great, great Saturday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, July 14, 2006
The events in today’s Daily Remark are listed in chronological order...
What country is home to the world's largest dam? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was China and the dam is the Three Gorges Dam.
Have an amazing Friday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
- We won our game last night. Another mercy. We are good. I have never said that before. I think we’re 10-1. We’ll for sure lose our next game.
- I remember almost nothing from when I was little but I do remember one particular person being mean to me on the bus to school when I was in kindergarten and he was in third grade. I saw him at dinner last night after our game. I didn’t do anything but, for a moment I felt a lot like Steve Buscemi.
- I opened a door at home into my head. It bled…not the door, my head. I got a bump and no one was around so I didn’t even get any attention or sympathy. I have a scar. I am telling everyone I was sliced with a shiv. Who cares?
- I started watching 40 Year Old Virgin last night around 12. I couldn’t turn it off because I am weak and lack will power. I got about six minutes of sleep last night.
What country is home to the world's largest dam? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was China and the dam is the Three Gorges Dam.
Have an amazing Friday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, July 13, 2006
- I had the craziest dream last night. I was sitting on someone's deck making a diorama of a diorama and all the sudden the sun was engulfed by a halo and I started frenching a dragon.
- Big game tonight. I predict I go 0-4 and get run over by someone running between second and third and cry.
- Someone emailed me and said I know someone who likes you. I said who and my friend said just joking.
- I've been to Dairy Queen at least once every day since last Thursday. Last night I got a strawberry-oreo blizzard and a large cone and put the blizzard in the cone. I can say it was the best thing I have ever eaten in my life.
What country is home to the world's largest dam? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was phosphorous.
Have the best Thursday in the history of Thursdays.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
- Do you know that 99% of people don't like hearing about other people's dreams? I made up the 99% but I pretty sure I'm right.
- The girl at Dairy Queen last night was wearing the coolest Dairy Queen sweatshirt. I begged her to trade me for a Moosejaw hoody but she wouldn't do it. Then, I asked if I could bring Lucky Charms with me the following day to make a Lucky Charms Blizzard. Needless to say, the people at DQ like me about as much as everyone else.
- Bullet point.
The first scientific discovery of an element was made in the 17th century. What was the element that was 'discovered?' Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. Your hint is that the answer is nothing fun like silver or gold. Actually, some people may think it is fun but it is still not silver or gold.
Yesterday's answer was Tiger Woods.
Have an outstanding Wednesday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
- I had a beer in the shower for the first time since college last night. I forgot how great that was.
- I also can't remember whether I used my own soap in the shower at school or if I shared with everyone or anyone.
- Sorry for talking about me in the shower.
- The girl and I went to new restaurant last night. The restaurant was completely empty yet every time our waitress went into or came out of the kitchen she announced 'coming in' or 'coming out' as if there was so much commotion the restaurant needed traffic lights. Maybe you had to be there.
Who was the first amateur golfer to ever make the cut at the Masters? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. Your hint is to think a little bit about history today. Or, maybe I'm making that up and you should go with the obvious answer. Or maybe you should go all contrarian on me but then do you go contrarian on the contrarian?
Yesterday's answer was Kentucky. The caves are the Mammoth Caves.
Have a terrific Tuesday. Yes, terrific.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, July 10, 2006
There was a fellow playing guitar at the place we went to dinner last night. I always thought I was great at the game where you guess what song the fellow is playing first. I think they called it Name That Tune back in the day. The girl and one other person were both better than me. I didn’t even pretend that I didn’t care. When the girl got a Poison song first I said I had never liked her more and almost proposed. Between the Name that Tune and watching the boy and girl at the table next to us being all over each other to the point that I thought they were going to do it in the restaurant, I can say that I have never enjoyed a long dinner more. I apologize for the relatively optimistic remark.
What US state is home to the longest cave system in the world? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Ethiopia.
Have the best Monday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
What US state is home to the longest cave system in the world? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was Ethiopia.
Have the best Monday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, I can't do this.
Mrs. Robinson: You what?
Benjamin: This is all terribly wrong.
Mrs. Robinson: Do you find me undesirable?
Benjamin: Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. I think, I think you're the most attractive of all my parents' friends. I mean that.
-The Graduate
What current country used to be called Abyssinia? If you look it up you’ll definitely get it. So, instead of resorting to being resourceful I’ll give you a hint. The answer is not Chile. Hopefully that will be helpful. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today’s auto-reply will include four quotes by famous people that I have been within touching distance of. Please note, that I didn’t touch anyone. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this most exciting auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was Wrigley’s chewing gum.
Have an amazing Sunday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Mrs. Robinson: You what?
Benjamin: This is all terribly wrong.
Mrs. Robinson: Do you find me undesirable?
Benjamin: Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. I think, I think you're the most attractive of all my parents' friends. I mean that.
-The Graduate
What current country used to be called Abyssinia? If you look it up you’ll definitely get it. So, instead of resorting to being resourceful I’ll give you a hint. The answer is not Chile. Hopefully that will be helpful. Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today’s auto-reply will include four quotes by famous people that I have been within touching distance of. Please note, that I didn’t touch anyone. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this most exciting auto-reply.
Yesterday’s answer was Wrigley’s chewing gum.
Have an amazing Sunday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, July 08, 2006
I was at the coffee shop yesterday answering your emails and an acquaintance sat next to me. Does it get any worse? I would have preferred a complete stranger.
Here’s a screenplay about it...
Fade in:
Acq: Hey, how’s everything going?
Me: Terrible. You don’t want to know.
(pause)
Me: I’m kidding. Everything is great. I’ve always thought about telling everyone I was terrible when they asked how I was doing but I had never really done it until now.
Fade out.
According to my people, the first bar code was used on what product? This is a tough one but it's an auto-reply day so it seems quite appropriate. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from people who are either alive or were never on an airplane. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this riveting auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was Indonesia. Japan is second and the US is third.
Have an okay Saturday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Here’s a screenplay about it...
Fade in:
Acq: Hey, how’s everything going?
Me: Terrible. You don’t want to know.
(pause)
Me: I’m kidding. Everything is great. I’ve always thought about telling everyone I was terrible when they asked how I was doing but I had never really done it until now.
Fade out.
According to my people, the first bar code was used on what product? This is a tough one but it's an auto-reply day so it seems quite appropriate. In addition to the answer, today’s auto-reply will include four quotes from people who are either alive or were never on an airplane. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for this riveting auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was Indonesia. Japan is second and the US is third.
Have an okay Saturday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Friday, July 07, 2006
- How come Star Jones is famous and I’m not?
- Did you know that screaming kids cause the fourth most heart attacks in the Midwest? I made that up but based on the dinner I had last night I cannot be too far off.
- Sometimes when you’re frustrated it’s better to look inward and hate yourself. I can’t stand me.
According to my people, historically, what country is home to the most active volcanoes? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. Historically, try saying it yourself.
Yesterday's answer was Corazon Aquino.
Have the most amazing Friday in history.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Thursday, July 06, 2006
- We have our best Moosejaw contest ever this month. If you care about our future you'll check it out and vote right away.
- Big game tonight. I won't be there. I wish everyone hated me because of it but no one really seems to care that much.
- Bullet point
What woman most recently won Time's Person of the Year? Please note we're not counting Melinda Gates because she won it along with Bill and Bono. Sorry Melinda. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Happy Birthday.
Have a decent Thursday.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Apparently only two people showed up at the Daily Remark barbeque yesterday in Cheyenne. So, every Daily Remark Club in Laramie County is permanently closed due to lack of interest.
According to my people what was the first song sung in outer space? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was the Susquehanna.
Have the greatest Wednesday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
According to my people what was the first song sung in outer space? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday’s answer was the Susquehanna.
Have the greatest Wednesday ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
As you can imagine I have a lot of important things to say this Independence Day.
Please don't answer any of the questions I just asked but certainly discuss everything at your party tonight.
Today's question comes from Ellen. I forgot to ask her question for weeks and just came across it. I have no idea why I just told you that. Here we go..What is the largest most non-navigable river in the world? Your hint is that Ellen likes the river because of the turtles. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Madeleine Albright.
I hope you have a decent 4th of July.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
- I am still obsessed with those powdered wigs the Founding Fathers wore. Do you think when they first started wearing them their parents got mad? If everything is cyclical why haven't they come back in style?
- The person who sits a couple seats away from me is certain no girls like him because his eyes are too close together. Can that be fixed?
- Am I the only one who only cares about the pictures of themselves when scrolling through a photo album? Unless I'm looking at some pretties I could care a less about seeing anyone but me. Or is it careless?
Please don't answer any of the questions I just asked but certainly discuss everything at your party tonight.
Today's question comes from Ellen. I forgot to ask her question for weeks and just came across it. I have no idea why I just told you that. Here we go..What is the largest most non-navigable river in the world? Your hint is that Ellen likes the river because of the turtles. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was Madeleine Albright.
I hope you have a decent 4th of July.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Monday, July 03, 2006
- We had a barbeque last night. Here are some boring notes...
- I ate an entire carton of vanilla ice cream. I ate about three quarters of it without realizing it and then decided to finish it just so I could mention it here. The things I do for a little attention. I will mention it to my analyst.
- I was the second most flexible of everyone who came over.
- I gave a toast that was mostly about Charlemagne.
- All I thought about from the moment anyone arrived was how terrible it was going to be to clean everything.
- Everyone was gone by the time Entourage started.
- I hope everyone enjoyed the notes in numerical order.
- The people who live across the street won my annual award for the worst and loudest fireworks. They may have blown up their house.
- The Daily Remark is now blogged on our My Space page. Big deal.
Who was the first woman to be Secretary of State? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.
Yesterday's answer was France and Spain.
Have the best Monday before the Fourth of July ever.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Brody: Marion's the least of your worries right now, believe me, Indy.
Indiana: What do you mean?
Brody: Well, I mean that for nearly three thousand years man has been searching for the lost ark. It's not something to be taken lightly. No one knows its secrets. It's like nothing you've ever gone after before.
Indiana: [laughing] Oh, Marcus. What are you trying to do, scare me? You sound like my mother. We've known each other for a long time. I don't believe in magic, a lot of superstitious hocus pocus. I'm going after a find of incredible historical significance, you're talking about the boogie man. Besides, you know what a cautious fellow I am.
[throws his gun into his suitcase]
-Raiders of the Lost Ark
What two European nations aided the colonies against the British in the American Revolution? Today is an auto reply day. In addition to the answer today's auto-reply will include four quotes from people from America, Britain or any other country I have definitely visited. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was three - Michigan, Penn St. and OSU.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Indiana: What do you mean?
Brody: Well, I mean that for nearly three thousand years man has been searching for the lost ark. It's not something to be taken lightly. No one knows its secrets. It's like nothing you've ever gone after before.
Indiana: [laughing] Oh, Marcus. What are you trying to do, scare me? You sound like my mother. We've known each other for a long time. I don't believe in magic, a lot of superstitious hocus pocus. I'm going after a find of incredible historical significance, you're talking about the boogie man. Besides, you know what a cautious fellow I am.
[throws his gun into his suitcase]
-Raiders of the Lost Ark
What two European nations aided the colonies against the British in the American Revolution? Today is an auto reply day. In addition to the answer today's auto-reply will include four quotes from people from America, Britain or any other country I have definitely visited. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was three - Michigan, Penn St. and OSU.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Someone at Moosejaw said they were having a great day and decided to send rankings to show who contributed most to their excellent morning. Needless to say, I am quite pleased with the results. Here we go...
How many of the five largest college football stadiums are the home to Big Ten schools? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today's auto-reply will include three quotes by athletes and one quote by someone I've never met. Please feel free to tell all your friends about this one and please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was 5.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
| Trapper | 13 |
| Magic Rat | 10 |
| Little Scout | 12 |
| Lola | 17 |
| Monique | 13 |
| Professor | 10 |
| Dating Girl | 10 |
| Other | 15 |
| 100 |
How many of the five largest college football stadiums are the home to Big Ten schools? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer today's auto-reply will include three quotes by athletes and one quote by someone I've never met. Please feel free to tell all your friends about this one and please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.
Yesterday's answer was 5.
Love the madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com
