Moosejaw Daily Madness

January 31, 2006

I am pretty sure I am going to one of the fancy Superbowl parties this weekend. The girl’s cousin is getting us in. I plan to get my hair in a big afro and wear a sleeveless shirt and leather pants. I will post a picture of me with Ja Rule on Monday.

According to a customer who went to hotel management school what is the technical difference between a hotel and a motel? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was that no words rhyme with silver.

Have the best Tuesday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 30, 2006

One of my brother’s friends in Chicago needs to be set up for a date. Here are his stats….

He is about 34. Maybe 33.
I think he’s just okay looking but super pretty girls have always liked him so he might just not be my type.
He went to Michigan.
He just got dumped bad by his girl.
He finished the real Ironman but doesn’t work out to the point that you hate him.

If you know any girl in Chicago who is interested please email me all the details right away. Also, please note that this is the first remark that has not centered around me since the fall of the Ottoman Empire.

How many words in the English language rhyme with silver? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was 1982 Pontiac Trans Am.

Have an amazing Monday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 29, 2006

How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
-Uncle Rico, Napoleon Dynamite

What kind of car was Kit? We’re looking for something more than just Ford, for example. Ford, Explorer would suffice. I’m not sure who we are. If you would like to see today’s auto reply which will include the answer as well as my favorite word and number please chime in. If you prefer to discuss this with your friends and enemies that’s nice too. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Lake Baikal and there was a little spider on me one second ago and now it’s gone. It’s probably laying eggs in me.

Have the greatest Sunday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 28, 2006

I saw Matchpoint last night. Definitely see it.

I am perfectly fine drinking tap water from anywhere.

Today’s question and auto-reply comes from Cams in Texas. Cams is definitely in the top three Daily Remarkers ever and was mentioned in our winter catalog….

Today’s question comes from me, Cams. Technically the question is from my bf but we'll let it slide. What is the deepest lake in the world? This one is very easy to cheat on, so you should guess for yourself. Or cheat. Either way, you're not getting anything. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Carrie Underwood’s Some Hearts.

Have the best Saturday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 27, 2006

The girl burnt potatoes last night and the smoke alarm went off. I proceeded to get on a chair and take the batteries out of some device that looked like a smoke alarm. Oddly enough taking the batteries out didn’t stop the horrible noise so I ripped the thing off the wall only to discover that I was breaking the doorbell chime thing and was about ten feet away from the smoke alarm. That was fun.

According to In Touch magazine which has featured someone wearing Moosejaw but I can’t remember who….What American Idol winner’s album was the fastest seller of all the American Idol winners? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the Mount Fitzroy Peaks.

Have a decent Friday but a fantastic weekend.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 26, 2006

Did you know that Texas won the National Championship in baseball and football and they’re ranked in the top five in the NCAA hoops poll I just looked at? It would be fun to be at Texas right now.

I am thinking that I’ve never been to Texas. I have a Texas jersey from Dr. Cheese MD who did his residency at Baylor. As you know, Dr. Cheese MD is also credited for announcing that the brain is finite. You’re actually not allowed to talk about Dr. Cheese MD without mentioning that fact.

Texas is a big state. Do you think Texas rhymes with anything other than nexus? I’m guessing no? Do you think if Texas wasn’t such a big state they would have allowed more words to rhyme with it? After all, think about the plethora of words that rhyme with Rhode Island and Delaware.

Not only is today’s question the most difficult question ever it is also an auto-reply day so you might as well shut down your computer right now, leave work or home and commiserate with some friends and enemies about something. Here we go…the Patagonia logo was inspired by what specific peaks in the Patagonia range in South America? If you’re still reading this you might as well email something just to get the answer. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Wednesday.

Have the greatest Thursday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 25, 2006

I am not joking…the Moosejaw buying squad might be making some sort of Moosejaw Trapper shirt. They asked me about it yesterday and I told them that no one who reads the Daily Remark would buy it because they know me well enough to dislike me but that lots of other people may get it. More info to come.

More importantly, do you think people in Bermuda are mad that no one talks about the triangle much anymore? Please don’t answer that but save it for a discussion topic for your Daily Remark meeting this week.

What day of the week does my garbage get picked up? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Arizona State.

Have an okay Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 24, 2006

It’s Neil Diamond’s birthday today. I have seen Neil in concert a couple times. My favorite thing about a Neil Diamond concert is that he doesn’t say something like “You’re a great crowd. I’ve sold out 240 shows in a row. Thanks so much. I love you.” Instead he says “You’re a great crowd. I’ve sold out 240 shows in a row. You love me.” Very respectable.

It’s also Misha Barton’s birthday. She’s pretty. My mom saw Anna Kournakova once and had no idea who she was but thought she was gorgeous and asked her if she would go out with my brother. She was dating Sergei Federov at the time.

That’s all.

Today’s question comes from Aaron. He claims to know the answer to this one because he was a part of one of the winning teams. I don’t believe him. In the 1990’s only won college won the Men’s NCAA Golf Championship more than once. What is the college? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the Philharmonic Society of New York.

Have a fantastic Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 23, 2006

We had dinner at the girl’s sisters last night. Somehow I ended up changing the burnt out light bulbs in the front of their house. When I got back in the house I started entertaining one of the babies by knocking the burnt out bulbs into each other. Of course, one of the bulbs broke, glass got everywhere, the babies were screaming and everyone hated me more than you could imagine. Of course, I explained that Dr. Spock noted that aside from a roof leak there is nothing better for a baby’s growth than a broken light bulb. Phew.

What’s the oldest symphony orchestra in the US? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Italy.

Have the best Monday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 22, 2006

Today’s movie quote comes from Sarah in Montpelier who got to submit anything she wanted after I missed the capitol of North Dakota. I guessed Pierre. I am so dumb. Please note, however, that my doctor (Dr. Cheese, MD) told me the brain is finite.

Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go, "that's b - - a - - d." Robert Frost said, "Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."
-John Keating, Dead Poets Society

Which country joined the Axis first….Japan or Italy? If you would like to see the auto-reply please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. Today’s auto-reply will include the answer, an asterisk and a real nice made up quote. If you prefer some banter please email some of your Daily Remark friend and enemies.

Yesterday’s answer was The Beatles.

Have an okay Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 21, 2006

Emergency. I have found the best garbage bags ever. Please check it out.

http://www.glad.com/trashbags.html#forceflex

Which happened first….The Beatles appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show or Rolling Stone Magazine debuted. If you would like to see the auto-reply please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. However, I recommend saving your reply for your weekly Daily Remark meeting.

Yesterday’s answer was Georgi Melenkov.

Have the best Saturday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 20, 2006

The fellow who sits next to me is a Colorado native who is obsessed with the Broncos. For the last two weeks he has worn nothing but orange and blue. He sent Jake Plummer a bunch of Moosejaw stuff and named his chair Ian Gold. He also grew a Jake Plummer mustache for the playoffs. I used to like the Broncos but now it’s more fun to like the Steelers. He sent me a remark to post on the site but I wrote this instead. No one likes me.

The following important note is from Dating Girl (datinggirl@moosejaw.com). Please pass it around jic.

I had some emailing issues but they’re fixed now. Anytime I asked a question in my response or asked for an update and people replied, I never got the reply. People prolly thought I was ignoring them. It’s now fixed.

Who was the leader of the USSR right after Stalin? If you’d like the auto-reply on a rare auto-reply Friday please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. In today’s auto-reply you’ll enjoy a poem, seeing the number 9 written out in French as well as the answer.

Yesterday’s answer was Honda and the car was the Honda Civic GX.

Have an amazing Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 19, 2006

I posted a remark a week or so ago about the fact that I get so hungry in the morning that I can barely stand myself. I can barely stand myself regardless but to be hungry and not be able to stand myself is even worse. Well, someone who sounded like she knew what she was talking about told me that everything would be solved if I went from three shots of espresso in the morning to just one. After a week of testing I am pleased to announce that she is right. I still don’t like me as much as you probably don’t like me but I’m not all that hungry anymore.

According to the Nighters, which is the nickname the Vail, Colorado Daily Remark Club gave themselves, what car company made the least polluting car in 2005? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was All the Right Moves.

Have the best Thursday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 18, 2006

The girl told me I’m too narcissistic in the Daily Remark. She’s absolutely right but I can’t think of anything else to talk about. Here’s a try at something new…

Pilty and Frank were walking to the sandwich shop when all of the sudden a lion burst out from a salon and scared the living daylights out of them. The lion turned out to be friendly but that didn’t change the fact that everyone likes stickers.

Tom Cruise played a high school football player in what movie? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was WH Harrison.

Have an amazing Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 17, 2006

I played pool last night and forgot whether I should be looking at the cue ball when I shoot or looking at the object ball. I have played pool one thousand times and it has never happened to me before. I have forgotten whether to use ‘then’ or ‘than’ once but this was slightly different and for the first time I thought I might be losing my mind for real. After a couple beers I got my bearings and ended up being the second best person playing out of the two of us playing.

Today’s question comes from the Portland Daily Remark Group. There is only one member and she failed to tell me whether it is Portland, Oregon or Portland, Maine. So, if you are in either Portland and part of a Daily Remark Club please email me and I’ll forward you this lady’s email address.

What US President served for the shortest time in office? They said everyone loves a president question. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Snow White.

Have an okay Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 16, 2006

Sometimes don’t you feel like reading the question without a remark? It was so close to being that day until my next door neighbor told me one of her friends thought I was cute.

I made that up.

The Springfield, Illinois Daily Remark meeting is canceled tonight due to lack of interest.

Which debuted first…Snow White and the seven dwarfs or the first Bugs Bunny cartoon? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was 2.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 15, 2006

“It's good to get information and feedback from your fans on the Internet, ... But a lot of it is downright mean. There are three or four guys who say they're Vince Neil and people come to the shows because these guys promise them tickets, and when there's no tickets there, they get mad at the band. That kind of stuff bums me out.”
-Vince Neil

How many times have I gotten my haircut since July? This is certainly a riveting question. If you prefer the auto-reply please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. However, because the question can spark so much important discussion I recommend saving the answer for your next Daily Remark weekly meeting.

Yesterday’s answer was that lb. (the abbreviation for pound) comes from the Latin word libra.

Have an outstanding rest of Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 14, 2006

Did you know that when one of the pilots on the plane goes to the bathroom the flight attendants surround him or her like bodyguards? You don’t need to answer that.

The girl likes the game Su Doku. It is the exact kind of game that I would play once and never be able to put down. I picture myself playing Su Doku for days on end, no shower, beers and pizza all over the house, no upward mobility, etc.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Why is the abbreviation for a pound lb? If you would like today’s auto-reply please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. If you prefer some banter please email your Daily Remark Club or save it for your next meeting.

Yesterday’s answer was Danielle Steele.

Have the best Saturday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 13, 2006

The Moosejaw Buying squad gets opinions about Moosejaw stuff from staff and other real people who don’t work for Moosejaw at least once every couple weeks. I went to the mall yesterday with one of the buyers to give my opinion about stuff. Not our Moosejaw stuff, other stuff. I like stuffing. I can’t stand the mall and was named least helpful person ever by the buyers. I did notice that most shops have everything folded beautifully and there are pretty girls all over the place. I felt underdressed but was on my phone enough to fit in. ssb.

I saw Friday the 13th at a girl named Stacy’s house when I was in middle school. I was super scared but pretended not to be because I wanted to french her. When I realized there was no chance for frenching I switched the tape and watched Caddyshack. It was about fifteen years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. No one likes me.

Please note The Boston Daily Remark Club meeting today is being moved from Plato’s Playhouse to The Rinny Diner. It is still being held at 4pm.

Who had more books in the Top Ten Fiction Best-Seller’s List in 1998…John Grisham, Tom Clancy or Danielle Steele? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Apple.

Have a decent Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 12, 2006

When I was in middle school we had to do a project on a book. Someone read Raiders of the Lost Ark and brought in a picture of Noah’s ark instead of the arc of the covenant. What a fool. I was going to say What an Idiot but then I got worried about getting beat up in case he was reading this.

According to the Miami Beach Daily Remark Club what company produced the most expensive commercial ever? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Friends.

Have a fantastic Thursday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 11, 2006

Can anyone get tickets to Conan or to Saturday Night Live in New York? If so, can you please email Dating Girl. The first person to come through gets a Moosejaw hoody, Moosejaw hat and a piece of gum.

I make the sheets on the bed taught every night before bed. I wish I could stop but I can’t. At least I get to say taught.

I thought about the fact that I saw a stunning rainbow at the end of the summer so I looked for a rainbow online. It’s almost the same.

First Daughter with Katie Holmes…..very good. I only watched it for ten seconds but I can tell.

What TV sitcom charged the most for commercial space ever? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Jungleland.

Have an okay Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 10, 2006

We have a marketing meeting every morning at 7am. I usually show up at 8. Yesterday I told everyone that I was queasy – like a nervous queasy. Today, I thought I was getting a migraine. So, now I’m positive that I just like to complain to get attention. If I was a dog I would bark really loud. Or, is it loudly?

Being invisible is the best.
-Son of the Invisible Man, Amazon Women on the Moon

Magic Rat runs the Rock, Paper, Scissors section at Moosejaw.com. What song is the nickname Magic Rat from? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was George Washington.

Have the best Tuesday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 9, 2006

I made dinner by myself last night. I am a horrible cook but I always think I’m ready to turn the corner. Here is the short version of the story….

I thought it would be a good idea to build a fire in the fireplace and cook a piece of chicken on the open flame with a skewer. The skewer I used was too short and I couldn’t hold the chicken over the flame so I laid the chicken on a log in the fire. It seemed to be going okay but when I flipped the chicken it fell into the ashes. I still let it cook and when it looked ready I ran it under water to get all the ashes off and then put it in the toaster. It actually tasted even worse than it looked. Midway through the process I considered throwing the chicken away but I kept going just so I could finish the story for the remark today. You are prolly a little dumber for having read this. Prolly.

What US President gave the first State of the Union? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s question had multiple answers but the one that made the most sense to me was that it would be too difficult to take the pizza out of the box.

Have an outstanding Monday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 8, 2006

General Hummel: Major Anderson, if you have any concern for the lives of your men, you will order them to safety their weapons and place them on the deck.
Agent Paxton: This is not happening.
Commander Anderson: Sir, we know why you're out here. God knows, I agree with you. But like you, I swore to defend this country against all enemies, foreign sir, and domestic. General we've spilled the same blood in the same mud. And you know I can't give that order.
Navy SEAL: We're dead!
General Hummel: Your unit is covered from an elevated position, Commander. I'm not gonna ask you again. Don't do anything stupid. No-one has to die here.
Commander Anderson: [raising his voice] The men following the General: you're under oath as United States Marines, have you forgotten that? We all have shipmates we remember. But that doesn't give you the right to mutiny!
General Hummel: You call 'em what you want! You're down there, we're up here! You walked into the wrong room, Commander!

Why put a round pizza in a square box instead of a round box? It’s auto-reply Sunday. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com if you’d like to see the auto-reply. Please email your Daily Remark club if you prefer a discussion.

Yesterday’s answer was Vermont.

Have an amazing Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 7, 2006

I was thinking about doing a three part Daily Remark starting today but I have nothing interesting to say. If you like the idea please call this part one but note that there will be no part two or three.

I bought a book yesterday…Vince Flynn’s Transfer of Power. It took me about fifty pages to realize I had already read it. Is there anything worse?

I have been working with my new electric razor for about an hour a night recently. I will now have a two millimeter scruff forever. I measured. Please search for a photo of Wade Garret in RoadHouse for more details.

According to a recent hopeful for the democratic presidential ticket who is still very active in politics, what is the healthiest state in the US? Really, I didn’t get any info from anyone but if you think healthy states and potential candidates you’ll be more likely to get this one. Back in the day we called it a hint.

It is auto-reply Saturday so please email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply or to some friends if you prefer some lovely conversation.

Yesterday’s answer was Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.

Have the best Saturday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 6, 2006

I get so hungry in the morning that I think something is wrong with me. Like I’m on Survivor and haven’t eaten for four days. I usually have a triple espresso, hundred almonds, an orange, an apple and lunch before 10am. Do you think there’s something wrong with me? I mean, there is definitely something wrong with me but do you think there’s something wrong with me in this regard?

According to the Hollywood Daily Remark conglomerate, what movie had the largest budget dedicated to it before filming? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.Please note they asked me to call them a conglomerate.

Yesterday’s answer was Wilson.

Have an outstanding Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 5, 2006

I answered emails at Barnes and Noble yesterday. There was only one seat near an outlet so I couldn’t move and the people sitting next to me were talking so loud for so long about the Civil War that I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I went to the drug store and bought ear plugs and they worked great. I may always wear ear plugs.

How come Matthew McConaughey gets to walk around the field before and after the National Championship game like he’s on the team? Please don’t answer that.

Who was the first US President to speak on the radio? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Larry David.

Have the best Thursday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 4, 2006

For the second day in a row I made my coffee at home and then forgot to bring it to work with me. So, I assume it’s some deep psychological problem and that I really don’t want to be working. Or, perhaps I used to be a coffee grower who became tired of the oppressive government so I became the right hand man to a revolutionary and was cut down by some government thugs with a machete while dining at the local watering hole.

What TV writer has the record for the highest annual earnings? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was almonds.

Have a great Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 3, 2006

Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.
-Beanie, Old School

I know I’m a little late on the dedication but I just found out about Blue this morning. Please note that I was given permission to use this quote by someone at Moosejaw and that it was actually Sarah’s idea so if you’re going to be offended please be mad at someone else.

Typically, what’s the first thing I eat every morning…an orange, toast or almonds? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was Ms. Saigon.

Have an amazing Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 2, 2006

I have no idea if the garbage is being picked up Wednesday morning like normal or do they delay until Thursday because of New Years. My week is ruined.

Which Broadway musical sold the most amount of advance ticket sales? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. As you know, I like nothing more than emailing about Broadway.

Yesterday’s answer was PT Barnum.

Have the best Monday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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January 1, 2006

Happy New Years and welcome to 2006. I didn’t realize there were no college bowl games on today until three seconds ago. I thought that was against the law.

My only resolutions for this year are to watch more college basketball before the NCAA Tournament, to play ding dong ditch as often as possible and to pretend I am a chair every once in a while.

According to the Eugene, Oregon Daily Remark Club, who organized the first international beauty contest? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com. Today is a very special auto-reply day. Please look forward to the answer, a movie quote and the number of cows I have touched in my life.

Yesterday’s answer was Baywatch.

Have the best New Years Day ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
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