Moosejaw Daily Madness

Michigan-Minnesota tonight. If you're not a little concerned about Michigan dropping their guard because they are looking too forward to Michigan State next week then you are something or other. I can't think of what that is though.

I don't know the rule about when to use who's or whose and I feel like I don't really need to know because the computer always makes it right. I bet kids growing up are dumber because of these type of things. I know I am. I am going to look up the rule right now. I already feel better about myself.

I am so boring I can't stand it. Perhaps I'll have an anxiety attack about garbage day this week so at least I have something interesting to tell to you and my analyst.

Whose image is on the most popular US commemorative stamp? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include three quotes by the person who is the answer. I imagine this is beyond exciting. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.comfor the auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was Wisconsin.

Have an okay Saturday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The hot water in my shower has always been terrible. I've never thought to say anything about it because I think it's important to be miserable most of the time. I mentioned something to The Girl yesterday and she pointed out that we could simply turn the hot water dial up on the hot water tank thing. My shower this morning was outstanding and I have never been happier. I am certain to get hit by lightning today.

Please don't forget to email me if you went at it on the Forum and I owe you some Moosejaw points. Went at it.

Bullet point.

What was the last Big Ten team to win the Rose Bowl? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was over ten years.

Have a fantastic Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Someone sent in a great guest Daily Remark about a house guest ordering porn through Comcast. A few minutes after I received the guest Daily Remark I was asked not to post the story. So, I'm posting a story about the story instead of the story.

Thanks for kicking ass on the Earl J. Earl's Forum yesterday. Please keep posting today for those Moosejaw points tomorrow. Think new baseball mitt for me. I love you all.

This is a boring remark. I wouldn't like me either.

This is a multiple choice question. Can you hardly? How long did the first successful US satellite spend in space...between one and two months, between 1 and ten years or over ten years? 'Successful' is determined by the Denver Daily Remark Club who was kind enough to submit this question. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was Kurt.

Have the best Thursday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

According to Earl J. Earl barely anyone contributed to the forum yesterday. Cami, Roy, Carlos, SoccerChica, Shipowitz, Mike, Layla, Al, Ricardo, Fitzy, Leon, TB, Sugar, Hoppy, MaGoo, Baby's Bottom, Sarah, Dr. Tom, Susan, Swimngirls, Buckeye Bob and Murf.where are you? How about this.anyone who adds a kick ass string to the forum today and tomorrow gets 100 Moosejaw Reward points. If you do it, on Friday please email me your banter from both days and I'll add the 100 points.

In a fairness I must announce that Earl J. Earl is raising money to get me a new baseball glove. That's not true. Yes, it is. No, it's not.

Yesterday I told someone at Moosejaw that I knew someone who likes him. I forgot to say I was joking and the person texted me last night to ask who and then I had to say I was joking. I felt terrible. I was voted into the most inconsiderate, most immature hall of fame because of it. I did get permission to mention the incident here. Ooops.

Today's question comes from Roy. According to the mayor of his hometown, Roy is the only person in the city who will only eat foods that begin with the letter H. Needless to say, we are all quite proud. Here we go.

On the TV show, The Office, what is Dwight's middle name? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was Ringo Starr.

Have an outstanding Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Some important notes.

My birthday celebration lasts the entire week. Please check the home page again in case you forgot about it.

The Moosejaw Forum, appropriately named Earl J. Earl's Forum, was named the best thing to happen to the internet since falling in love. Please skip the most important thing you have to do today to check it out and participate. Or don't.

I think I ate an entire box of Lucky Charms last night.

I worked as a dishwasher one summer. Halfway through the summer I realized I had never once put soap in the dishwasher. That's a true story. Please don't tell anyone.

Have you checked out the Forum yet?

Which Beatle joined the group last? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.Yesterday's answer was Michael.

Have a decent Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Have you seen the Home Page? Best day of my life.

We have this new soap that comes out of the soap thing already lathered. It is brilliant. Imagine all the time I'll save not having to get the soap all lathery. Could put a dent in my Purell use. I will be sure to keep you updated.

I ate an ice cream sandwich this morning and the wrapper was already opened. The ice cream sandwiched was likely laced and I'm probably going to die. It's been a decent life.

Jacob has been the most popular first name for a baby boy since 1998. What was the most popular name the year before Jacob took over? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was Hawaii, Deleware, Indianapolis and Oklahoma.

Have the best Monday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won't allow it... because I raise issues.
-Craig Schwartz, Being John Malkovich

Today's question comes from Mr. Allingham. Mr. Allingham was recently named the seventh best person to come up with a question for September 24th. Here we go...

What four states have the same first letter in the state's name as the capital city? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include four quotes from people who have lived in some state. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this riveting auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was Benjamin Becker.

Have a fantastic Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I went to dinner with a bunch of friends last night. One of the friend's girlfriends gave everyone a little silver good luck acorn. Needless to say it was the best part of the night and I am already feeling the luck. You might wonder what you say when someone gives you a good luck acorn and is serious about it. She asked me not to talk about it in the Daily Remark but I told her I wouldn't be able to help myself.

Michigan plays Wisconsin today. It would be a typical Michigan loss after a big win but I think this year's team is different and Michigan will win by more than twenty. Please note that I don't believe in jinxing things unless I'm on the craps table. I only believe in the acorn.

Who beat Andre Agassi in his last match on tour? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include a list of tennis players I have seen in person as well as a list of tennis players I have not seen in person. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was Ethiopia.

Have the most amazing Saturday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

This is a guest Daily Remark from someone who works at Moosejaw who preferred to remain anonymous because of that other thing. Here we go.

There is a guy driving a van outside our building and his friend keeps trying to get in the van and then the guy speeds up and won't let the friend in the van. He is doing it all the way down the road. His friend just got pissed and threw his pop at the van. Right now he is taking off his shoe. He just threw his shoe at the van. The entire office is watching the event. Someone sent cookies to us but they're gone already. Anthrax.

Today's question comes from Dana in Las Vegas. This is a super difficult question that I have to use because I missed it. Maybe it's not so difficult actually. Here we go.

According to Dana, who says she is positive she is correct, in what country was the first hominid fossil found? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was Theseus.

Have an incredible Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I have a terrible new obsession. Someone put a little thing of Clorox Disinfecting Wipes in my area so now every morning I have a full and completely unnecessary cleaning session. I have become most fond of cleaning my keyboard. I know it is a real problem because I thought about how great it was going to be to clean my computer screen on the way into work. At least I'm not shooting up.

If you didn't see the old Even Steven clips from the Daily Show featuring Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell yesterday try to get it. I was laughing so hard I was crying like a little baby. I actually saw the rerun yesterday. It was live on the 19th. Can a rerun be live? Please don't answer that. That's all.

My neck is still bad. Please picture Joan Cusak in 16 Candles.

ssl

In Mythology who killed the Minotaur? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was the St. Louis Cardinals.

Have an okay Thursday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

My neck got no better yesterday so I drove all the garbage from the side of the house to the street. It was definitely more difficult to get the garbage on top of my car and drive it than just taking the garbage to the street normal style but that just didn't seem like the right thing to do.

My birthday is next week. I don't like chocolate or anthrax and I don't really care about a card.

The Homer, Alaska Daily Remark Club asked me to post the following movie quote. For some reason they specifically requested a Wednesday posting. I'm sort of hoping it's a Marshall Applewhite thing and I finally make it to CNN.

This is not an occult science. This is not one of those crazy systems of divination and astrology. That stuff's hooey, and you've got to have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Our beliefs are fairly commonplace and simple to understand. Humankind is simply materialized color operating on the 49th vibration. You would make that conclusion walking down the street or going to the store.
-Terry Bohner, A Mighty Wind

What National League team has won the most World Series? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was Nigeria.

Have an amazing Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have a couple new sections on the site for you to check out when you're bored.

JK in the Joint
Softcore Phonographic
Lola Von Flix Flicks
The Professor's Lingo

I have a kink in my neck that is so bad I can't move. I am bringing my chair that swivels everywhere I go jic. Derek Jeter has his head on a swivel at short. He is great. I am most concerned that I'll have trouble taking the garbage out tonight. I've already called the city to see if they have any kind of garbage day assistant program or interns.

What is the most populous country in Africa? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was the Schotz Brewery.

Have a decent Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I am meeting a robot and shoe for lunch today. I can't stand a meeting especially when it's just to talk instead of create some action. Why are you so abrasive all the time? A lunch is no big deal and everyone wears shoes. That's exactly what I mean. I don't even like the fact that everyone wears shoes especially because of that other thing. The robot on the otherhand may be a nice change of pace from the daily grind of the pen.

Sorry about that.

Today's question comes from Skip. Skip was recently named the first person I know named Skip aside from Skip Ridliggio, of course. Here we go.

Where did Laverne and Shirley work? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was Gene Siskell.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Great win.

I flunk English, I'm outta here. I gotta get a job, and you know what that means. That's right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job. But the day I'm supposed to start some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick 300 just for driving a van back from Mexico. When I get out of jail I'm 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down in the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner and why? Because you wouldn't help me in English.
-Gib, The Sure Thing

What notable film critic at one time owned the famous white suit that John Travolta wore in Saturday Night Fever? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include three movie quotes from John Travolta films. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was on its ears, nose and the end of its tail.

Have an incredible Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

• Michigan-Notre Dame today. This is true... The Girl is letting me watch the game and go late to the wedding. I love you and I love everyone.


• I didn’t end up going to DQ for the cones on Wednesday. It was no warmer than the arctic in Michigan. I am still going through with the cone experiment as soon as possible. I wouldn’t blame you for not liking me though.


• I wore a clown nose all day at work yesterday. You’ll see why when you check the new home page on Monday. I imagine you can’t wait.


• Aside from The Girl being so great this is a bad Daily Remark. If we were in Hukuvistan I would probably have my pinky cut off. I made up that country.


• Garbage day coming up on Wednesday.

Today's question comes from Layla. The Association of Daily Remarkers named after Eric Clapton songs recently nominated Layla for Assistant Treasurer. Needless to say, we are all quite excited. Here we go...

What three places does a hippo have hair? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include quotes from three people I have seen with an animal. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for this super exciting auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was Phoenix.

Have an absolutely incredible Saturday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The following is an email from one of Brianna’s friends to Brianna. Here we go...

Trapper:

Thought you might consider the following a bit humorous, as this was a recent email I received from a friend shortly after an August Daily Remark. Nothing, but love...

the thing is, while he may be a bit of a nut... there is something inside me that gets him. truly gets him. i mean, i woke up last night thinking i had ovarian cancer. motaba? c'mon, trapper. yet, he is just as neurotic as i. perhaps a bit worse now that the fame has sort of gone to his head, but hey, i get it. he is doing all us nuts a favor, opening up the inner monologue of a neurotic twenty/thirty-something to the rest of the world.

i just can't be too hard on the guy.

You see, i am the MADNESS most of the time.

LTM. ;)

-Me

What US capital is the most populous? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday’s answer was the beetle.

Have the greatest Friday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Two days until Michigan-Notre Dame. Here's the problem... The game starts at 3:30 and I have to go to a wedding at 7.

Dear The Girl,

Here is my proposal. If the game is close I get to watch the game and miss the ceremony. This can certainly be considered my birthday present and you can still be mad at me about it. In addition, I will not watch any NFL games on Sunday, I will pretend to be a cashew on Monday and I will do something nice for you on Tuesday. If this is agreeable please print this out and sign below.

_________________________
The Girl

According to the Helena Daily Remark Club, the creature which is in most abundance in the world is the __________________. Please fill in the blank. They said that everyone loves a fill in the blank. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was the Cleveland Indians. Bill Wambsganss did it in 1920.

Have the finest Thursday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I love the bottom of an ice cream cone. I'm going to Dairy Queen today and asking if I can buy ten cones. I'm going to cut the cone so that I just have the bottom left and then ask them to fill the bottom up with ice cream. Then I'm going to bring all of it home and keep it in the freezer. I believe I have just developed the best ice cream snack ever. If you're going to steal the idea please at least name it after me.

Garbage day today. It comes again a week from today too.

Today's question comes from John. John recently returned from building the world's tallest sandcastle made entirely of sand. His design was an outlet for a plug. I made that up. What baseball team was responsible for the first unassisted triple play in World Series history? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was the koala bear.

Have an outstanding Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Last month I was fairly certain we couldn't possibly come up with a better contest but we have. Really, that just felt like the right thing to say. Regardless, please check out the Moosejaw Contest this month and next time you have an apple consider whipping a slice at a friend.

According to my people what animal's fingerprints are virtually indistinguishable from human fingerprints? I am a human. Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was six. The six were:

Representative Limitations
The Anti-Title Amendment
The Slavery Amendment
The Child Labor Amendment
The Equal Rights Amendment
DC Voting Rights Amendment

Have the best Tuesday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

• I am going to be on Jeopardy one week from today. I will remind everyone about it daily. I am not allowed to say whether I win or not. Please tell everyone.


• I don't smoke but I'm training my dog to take a few puffs, toss the cig and then stamp it out.


• I made all that up. Sorry about it.


• The only thing ever on SportsCenter nowadays is Nascar. Nowadays.


• Bullet point.

Today's question comes from Mike. Mike was recently named person most likely to do something that has an effect on something else but not on that other thing. How many amendments to the constitution were proposed but failed? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was They Shoot Horses.

Have the best Monday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Rex: My wife has me between a rock and a hard place.
Miles Massey: That's her job. You should respect that.
-Intolerable Cruelty

Today's question comes from Roy. Roy was recently named the third best Daily Remark player in his county. However, the first place winner apparently doesn't really live in the county so we are helping Roy dispute the results. Here we go...

What movie received the most Oscar nominations without being nominated for Best Picture? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include three quotes from movies I watched at least five seconds of this past week. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com to enjoy this super exciting auto-reply.

The best answer I got yesterday about the 808 was from Alones. Alones has worked at Moosejaw longer than just about anyone and grows the finest tomatoes in Michigan. Here we go...

“An 808 is possibly the most classic and widely used drum machines. It's a key part of classic rap/hip-hop such as the Beastie Boys. Think old school. The classic sounds it produces are still used regularly and are quintessential.”

Have an amazing Sunday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I love when the rugs in the bathroom are freshly washed. So, I have a horrible new habit of washing them about every other day right now. That will probably turn into washing them every day sometime soon. I also try to walk on the fresh fluffy part of the rug instead of the wet, weatered down section when I get out of the shower. I am considering throwing the rugs away entirely. Sorry for talking about getting out of the shower.

Today's question comes from Jenna. I don't know the answer and neither does Jenna but she was hoping that someone else out there knew. So, here we go. "What is an 808? It's in a bunch of songs."

Today is an auto-reply day. You won't get the answer to the question today but the auto-reply will include three quotes from people I have touched. I know...riveting. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was one...New York City.

Have the best Saturday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I don't believe in a pet peeve mostly because I feel awful about myself when I say pet peeve. However, if I had a pet peeve it would be coming into Moosejaw in the morning and my desk/table/area thing being all messed up. Someone was apparently working at my spot yesterday because I received the following email this morning from the lady who sits next to me. I may not go into work at all.

Warning, your desk is not that neat. Here is a list of things that are all over your area that you have to look forward to.

1. An old blackberry
2. Power cords all over that happen to run under my desk
3. Yellow invoices
4. CD cases
5. A box labeled "Ontrack Data Recovery Services" and a complimenting piece of foam
6. A pen
7. Another pen
8. A calculator
9. A twist tie
10. A ziplock baggie
11. A can of Sprite
12. Post its with writing on them that are not yours

How many of the 20 most populous cities in the world are in the US? Please get ready to celebrate because today is another auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include three quotes from people who are either dead or not alive. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was Kronos.

Have an okay Friday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I stopped by a lemonade stand yesterday. I didn't want any lemonade but I felt it was my duty as a human to patronize the kids. First, I rolled down my window and asked if they deliver to the car. The moms didn't seem to like that. The girl who seemed to be in charge said yes and came to the car to collect my quarter. I gave a dollar and explained it was a tip for their fine work. Then, a boy, who seemed to be one of the wait staff delivered the lemonade to the car. I told the boy to make sure the girl didn't keep the entire tip for herself. The boy went back to the girl for some cash money and a small fight seemed to have broken out and I am certain the mom's were taking down my license plate and I am now on some terrorist watch list. Meanwhile, the lemonade was filled up no more than halfway and it was watered down and tasted awful. Just goes to show you.

In Greek mythology, what was Zeus' dad's name? Great news...today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include three quotes from dogs. I know...riveting. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was Carl Yastrzemski in 1967.

Have the best Thursday of your life.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Dear The Girl,

When I fold the laundry I will no longer be taking your clothes that are inside out and making them perfect. Thank you and I have never loved you more.

Trapper

What major league baseball player most recently won the triple crown? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was Amelia Earhart. She was inducted in 1968. Armstrong was inducted in 1979.

Have an amazing Wednesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I went to the zoo yesterday for the first time since I was three years old. The Girl and I took The Girl's sister's kid. He's a boy. A baby boy. If we saw 100 different animals at the zoo I would guess that 97 didn't move and I am pretty sure they were dead. The other three were probably robots. I feel much better about not having to feel bad about the animals being all locked up instead of roaming free now.

Please check out the Moosejaw as well as theJaw home pages when you're bored. They are in my top six thousand home pages ever.

Who was inducted into the US Aviation Hall of Fame first...Amelia Earhart or Neil Armstrong? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was France and Spain.

In case you didn't know...new subscribers get 100 Moosejaw points for signing up for the Daily Remark. So, please tell everyone you know to sign up. I am going to copy and paste this everyday until there are seven million subscribers. Sorry about it. Sort of.

Have a decent Tuesday.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Did you see Agassi in the US Open yesterday. That's why sports are great. I was crying like a baby.

In 2004, tourists visited what two countries more than the US? Today is a very special Labor Day auto reply. Please email me at Trapper@moosejaw.com to get the auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was Greg Maddux.

Have an outstanding Labor Day.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I've always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, "Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it." I don't know what kind of soldier I'm gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into really heavy combat... I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.
-Russell Ziskey, Stripes

Excluding Roger Clemons, what active major league pitcher has the most wins? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include two quotes by athletes and one quote about a phone. This is one of those auto-replies you tell your friends about. Please email Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was Earth.

Have the greatest Sunday in history.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Today is a guest Daily Remark day. The following comes from Anne and if it makes no sense please check the Daily Remark from Tuesday. I prefer to spend most of my time confused so if you don't remember the Daily Remark from Tuesday and the following makes no sense you might want to try just going with the confusion thing for the day.

Hey Trapper- Three things:
1. I teach 6th grade, and I had my kids Google the price of a stamp in 1931, and they came up with three cents. Let's blame my incorrect answer on the 11 year olds.
2. I am dating a man who is running for the State House of Representatives, so I will talk to him about the thank you notes.
3. I sent out Christmas cards via e-mail last year and got in trouble. It didn't go over well with the people. I don't care. I will do it that way again this year.

According to my people, what is the only planet not named after a Greek or Roman god or goddess? Today is an auto-reply day. In addition to the answer, today's auto-reply will include a list of numbers and three quotes by people who may have once see a cat. I know...riveting. Trapper@moosejaw.com for the auto-reply.

Yesterday's answer was To Be Able To Read Minds.

Have the best Saturday of your life.

Go Blue.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com

• I'm going to the Tigers game tonight and to the first Michigan game of the year tomorrow. Should be the best weekend in history. It will probably pour rain all night tonight and all day tomorrow.


• I am not allowed to bet because it is not legal but if I could bet I would pick Florida tomorrow.


• Poor Pluto.

According to a USA Today Survey which super power would people prefer to have...To Be Invisible, To Fly, To Be Able To Read Minds or To Possess Super Strength? Please email your answer to me at Trapper@moosejaw.com.

Yesterday's answer was Brazil.

Have the best Friday ever.

Love the madness.

Trapper
Moosejaw.com