Moosejaw Daily Madness

I talked to The Girl last night. The old one. She recommended that I stop eating the most giant bowl of ice cream before bed and that having less sugar will help me sleep. Well, I decided to try it mostly because she expected me not to. It didn’t work at all and I feel like I let the world down by skipping an ice cream night. For that I’m so sorry. I’m going to get a McDonald’s cone on my way into work today.

What US State has the most National Parks? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was four.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I've sent in my application to the Real World. So I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "Hey, what's up guys? Want some crack?" I'm just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.
-Ricky Bobby, Talladega Nights

How many stomachs does a cow have? 2, 3 or 4? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply.

Have a decent Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

My date thing last night was great. We saw Lyle Lovett. I didn’t know anything about Lyle Lovett and neither did Cutie Von Cutes who I went out with but it couldn’t have been more fun. We made out.

Which US State has the highest percentage of people who walk to work? Oregon, New Hampshire or Alaska? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was four.

Have an amazing Saturday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I’m going on a date tonight and I’m not just saying it so The Girl finds out about it... I’m over that. I think I’m over it but I wonder if writing about it means that I’m not really over it. I’ll be calling my analyst right away. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever been on a real date before. I don’t even own any cologne. This is a disaster. I’m going to see if there is some sort of outdoor concert going on so I can just wear shorts and a tee shirt and hat. More to come.

How many airports are named after US Presidents? 3, 4 or 5? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer were the Flintstones.

Have a great Friday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com



Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply.

I have two plans to tell about today...

1. I’m not going to keep any garbage can or recycling bin inside my house. Instead I’m going to keep the garbage and recycling on the street at all times and when I have something to throw away or recycle I’ll just run it out there. That way I’ll never have to worry about taking the garbage out every Monday ever again. I’m be contacting the mayor right away.
2. I’ve decided not to tell about the second plan.

Thank you.

Who was the first TV couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV? Please email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Samuel L. Jackson. Sorry for two TV questions in a row.

Have an excellent Thursday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com



Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply.

The Girl and I are talking about getting back together. I might be going away for two weeks in a couple weeks so I suggested we keep everything in the mostly No Frenching Department until I get back. Can you believe it?

Who used to be Bill Cosby’s stand in on The Cosby Show? Denzel Washington, Samuel L. Jackson or Peabo Bryson? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. It couldn’t be better. Yesterday’s answer was the Arctic Ocean.

Have a terrible Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com



Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply.

Hat emergency. I lost my main Moosejaw hat this morning. If it doesn’t show up this is going to be the worst day ever. And, not just for me... for everyone.

Which is the world's smallest ocean? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was the Peregrine Falcon.

Have the best Tuesday ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com



Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply.

I went to dinner last night with The Girl. I’m going to try to come up some sort of game with odds and bets about whether or not we’ll end up kissing, getting back together, etc. I’m calling my people in Vegas right now. More to come and please prepare to lose lots of money.

What is the fastest animal on earth? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Switzerland.

Have a terrific Monday and they rarely say terrific.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com



Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply.

Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on.
-Fred Jung, Blow

What country has not fought in a war since 1815? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was 64.

Have a good Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com



Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply.

Oh great. There are so many people in the world. I just can’t take anything anymore. I can’t take love or bugs or cookies or pictures of corn. I actually don’t mind bugs though and I love ice cream. Please reread this.

How many spaces are there on a checkerboard? 48, 56 or 64? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was three.

Have a great Saturday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com



Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply.

I’m thinking I’ll take the garbage out this week on Sunday night instead of Monday morning. I know it’s against the city rules but I’m still going to do it.

How many times has Tom Cruise been married? You can thank Intern Becks for this question. Yesterday’s answer were San Marino and Vatican City.

Have the best Friday ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com



Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply.

I was home sick yesterday. Days is so much better than General. Maybe not so much but still.

What two countries are only bordered by Italy? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was the bee hummingbird.

Have a decent Thursday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The five tee thing is over. Daily Remarker Bill’s son Peter gets five tees and my guess is that it’s now the best birthday in the history of all birthdays. I just learned it’s also Sophia Bush’s birthday. She has a real case of the cutes.

Keep having a great Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

First person to email that it’s their birthday today and has some sort of proof gets five Moosejaw tees. One for you, three for friends and one for someone you don’t like. I’ll send another email to everyone as soon as this birthday thing is donesville.

What is the world’s smallest bird? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. I will be checking your emails about that birthday thing. Yesterday’s answer was The South China Sea.

Have a good Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The garbage people came early today and I was able to get the empty can and recycling bin from the street back to my house really early which means I don’t have to worry about it the rest of today.

I went for a great run and then had some new flaxseed granola for breakfast and it was really good and I’m bringing a decent lunch for myself today.

Basically, I was having the best day ever. Then, I went to the coffee shop and ran into two acquaintances and everything was ruined. I even told ‘em I was having the best day ever until the stop and chat. I said it jokingly but I wasn’t joking at all.

What is the largest sea in the world? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was the rose.

Have a good Tuesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I saw The Girl again yesterday. We were both getting flowers at some flea market flower type place. She’s for sure stalking me. We talked and I was totally normal and I was picking way better flowers than her. So cute. I asked her if she wanted to contribute anything to the remark today and said she never thought she’d miss having parts of her life documented for the world. I don’t know if that’s a good sign or not. I don’t even know if I’m looking for a good sign.

What is the official flower of the United States? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was five: Israel, Nepal, Senegal, Brazil and Portugal.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I think he knows what Rome is. Rome is the mob. Conjure magic for them and they'll be distracted. Take away their freedom and still they'll roar. The beating heart of Rome is not the marble of the senate, it's the sand of the coliseum. He'll bring them death - and they will love him for it.
-Gracchus, Gladiator

How many countries in the world end with the letter “L”? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was two.

Have a great Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Happiest Fourth of July.

I went to the zoo last night. It was super hot and none of the animals were out except an anteater and some sort of bird. The people watching was pretty good though. I have never seen more people eating more stuff. Not even at a baseball game.

Needless to say, I think there is a lot of synergy between the Fourth of July, the zoo and people eating a lot so this is going to be the best day ever.

How many times have I been told that I look like Tom Cruise? 0, 2 or 7? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply that will include a moving quote from Born on the Fourth of July. Yesterday’s answer was St. Augustine, FL.

Have the best Fourth of July ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com