Moosejaw Daily Madness

The Las Vegas Daily Remark Club will be joining the Reno Daily Remark Club and challenging the San Jose and Sacramento Daily Remark Clubs to a full on fight. Picture the fight seen in Anchorman. Needless to say, we’re honored to be a part of it all.

How many children did Brigham Young have? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Les Miserables.

Have an alright Friday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I have that feeling The Girl is going to dump me. There’s no worse feeling. I’m queasy. She’ll for sure be better off. I’ll be done and never look for a girlfriend again. I’m not joking. More to come.

What novel contains the longest sentence in literature? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Denmark.

Have a decent Thursday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have our most important survey ever on the Moosejaw Blog. It's all about grandmas and hockey jerseys and love in a world marked by too many different kinds of lip stuff. Lip balm. Please click here to check it out.

What country did the US buy the Virgin Islands from in 1917? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Mother Frances Cabrini.

Have a great Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Emergency announcement. We no longer have to get organic bananas at our house. The Girl announced that normal bananas will be fine.

The lady who sits next to me was named the 14th hottest girl of all time at her high school. Madonna was number one. Really. Please let me know if you want a pic.

There is no chance anyone will get a pic. I could probably pull off the Madonna pic.

Would be nice if someone could Tweet this to everyone. Just this line though.

There are no official bullet points on the email.

Who was the first US citizen to be given the title of Saint? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply. Not as important as the banana thing though. Yesterday’s answer was the FBI.

Have the best Tuesday ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

My new goal is to get the garbage out on the street before anyone else in the neighborhood. The garbage won’t be picked up for another 24 hours and I’m already all set. I have nothing to do the rest of today but chill.

What is the hardest part of the human body? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was tooth enamel. Really.

Have a great Monday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we learned during the week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest. Pencils ready!
-Mr. Turkentine, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

What is the hardest part of the human body? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply that will include three more quotes from Willy Wonka. Yesterday’s answer was none.

Have a terrible Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Dear Human People Coming Over for Dinner Tonight,

Instead of pretending to have an excuse and asking for you to leave around 9 tonight I’m just going to be open about it and email it now. Actually, please change around 9 to no later than 9. It’ll be perfect because we won’t have to spend all that much time together and we’ll all leave each other wanting more. In fact, we can have plans Saturday night too as long as it’s for about ten minutes.

Thanks so much and I can’t wait to see you.

What did Johnann Vaaler invent in 1900? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Truman.

Have a great Friday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

The human people at Moosejaw who run our Twitter thing have asked me to post something about it every day for the past month. I haven’t done it mostly because I typically have something more important to say. See yesterday's remark for an example and then click here to check Twitter. Or, just go to the Twitter thing and ignore yesterday’s remark. Or, do nothing. Okay. Thanks.

Who was the first president paid a salary of $100,000? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply of the best kind. Yesterday’s answer was Armani was in medical school.

Have the best Thursday ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

I have nothing to say today. Thank you.

What did Giorgio Armani do for two years before deciding to be a fashion designer? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply featuring quotes from girls who are pretty. Yesterday’s answer was the human pancreas.

Have a great Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Today is the first point swapping day since the last point swapping day and it’s going to be the best day ever. Here we go...

If you have some Moosejaw points you’re willing to give to someone OR if you need less than 500 Moosejaw points to pull the trigger on something at MoosejawRewards.com please email me and I’ll work on matching up some transfers.

I have no idea why I put that OR in all caps but I’m going with it.

Okay thanks.

Where are the Islands of Langerhans? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. I will be checking for point swap stuff, so be sure to include that with your email. Yesterday’s answer was 420 seats.

Have a great Tuesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

It’s a super long story but I’m having dinner with Latika from Slumdog Millionaire tonight. I typically tell people that I’m not star struck simply because I live my entire life in fear of rejection. Here’s a short play about how I think it’ll go down tonight...

Fade In...

Me: I used to think you could probably beat Mila Kunis in a race but I was told recently that she ran track in high school. Now I’m thinking you could beat her in a 100 meter dash but nothing more long distance than that.
Latika: You are so cute.

Fade Out...

Also, I made all of this up. I’m not meeting Latika for dinner. That’s all.

How many seats are there on a standard 747 jumbo jet- 420, 520 or 620? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Louisiana.

Have the best Monday ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

They asked us to go with two quotes for today. Please enjoy. Or don’t...

Joel Goodson: When it came right down to it, I just wasn't attracted to her.
Miles: That should never stop you.
-Risky Business

You can't win. You know that, don't you? It doesn't matter if you whip us, you'll still be where you were before, at the bottom. And we'll still be the lucky ones at the top with all the breaks. It doesn't matter. Greasers will still be Greasers and Socs will still be Socs. It doesn't matter.
-Randy, The Outsiders

Which state uses the Napoleonic code for as the basis for it’s civil law? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was South Dakota and Florida.

Have an alright Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

A friend of mine, who is relatively normal, decided to get rid of his cell phone. So dumb. Please save this remark and send it back to me when I get rid of mine too. Okay. That’s all.

What two states are both nicknamed the Sunshine State? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was that Socrates was a stone cutter.

Have a great rest of your Saturday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

About four minutes ago, someone told me I looked better than usual today. At first I thought it was a compliment but now I’m not so sure.

I have to go to a lunch with The Girl and two of her friends tomorrow. One of the people is a boy and I’ve never met him before. What a disaster.

Bullet Point.

What trade was Greek philosopher Socrates trained for? When I say “trained,” I mean type of profession. Email your answer to
Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Children’s Activities Magazine.

Have a terrible Friday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

We have the best contest ever going right now. It’s all about babies and love and finding what’s most important to ourselves and to each other in a world marked by too many two to three person couches where three is a squeeze and ruins everyone’s night but where is that third person supposed to sit if not on the couch?

Please click here to check out the contest.

In 2006, what city had the highest revenues from gambling than any other? Email your answer to
Trapper@moosejaw.com for this important auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Wales.

Have an alright Friday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Someone just bet me a twenty minute massage that I couldn’t have two ice creams everyday for the rest of April. It could be the easiest bet ever. I plan to have a McDonald’s cone everyday on my way to work and my regular ice cream in bed every night. Please look for updates at least nine times a day. Also, from now on I will only be talking about ice cream on the Daily Remark.

Catherine Zeta-Jones was born in what country? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply that will include three quotes from men who have frenched her in a movie. Yesterday’s answer was Chicago.

Have the best Thursday ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

If you have never been more bored in your entire life go to a Word Document and type in the following

=rand(3,5)

If your computer breaks or anything bad happens to you at all you’re not allowed to blame me. Actually, it’s not worth the risk. Please ignore this email entirely.

Okay. Thanks.

The first televised debate, which was between Nixon and Kennedy, took place in what city? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply that will include at least three quotes from past presidents. Couldn’t be better. Yesterday’s answer was Spain.

Have a great Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com