Moosejaw Daily Madness

2009-11-30T07:48:00.000-05:00

Trapper has died.

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2009-11-29T09:14:00.001-05:00

Proximo: He knows too well how to manipulate the mob.
Maximus: Marcus Aurelius had a dream that was Rome, Proximo. That is not it. That is not it!
Proximo: Marcus Aurelius is dead, Maximus. We mortals are but shadows and dust. Shadows and dust, Maximus!

-Gladiator

What was the last capital of Prussia? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Crater Lake.

Have a decent Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-28T08:51:00.002-05:00

Five super important bullet points for today...

Emergency... I used to just have one Pop Tart per sitting but now I have two. I'm not sure what that means but it's probably really good.

There's no point in zipping a zip-up hoody when you fold it b/c you'll just have to unzip it when you wear it anyway, right. It's so simple.

I just learned what a sitar is. Little chance I learn anything else today. Almost no one learns anything.

Bullet Point 4.

One of the best ways to avoid people is to always take the same route through a crowd and never make eye contact.

Okay. That's all.

What is the deepest lake in the US? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was the Cleveland Spiders.

Have a great Saturday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-27T07:39:00.003-05:00

Happiest Friday after Thanksgiving ever. Here are some important notes for today...

Someone told me to watch Dune. I started it and had to stop after about 10 minutes, mostly because it is the worst movie of all times. Sorry if anyone had something to do with the movie.

I learned that few penguins have spent a lot of time with giraffes and I think that's a shame. Please re-read this when you have a chance.

At the risk of being offensive I suggest George Washington was more attractive than Jefferson. Just something about him.

I think that covers it.

What was the name of Cleveland's baseball team before they were named the Indians? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Meryl Streep.

Have a great Friday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-26T10:04:00.001-05:00

Happiest Thanksgiving ever. Yesterday someone forwarded me a Thanksgiving dinner seating chart I posted last year for Thanksgiving. In the interest of being repetitive I feel it's important to re-post now. Here we go...

As promised here are those seating assignments... Please assume we're going clockwise around a long rectangular table starting with the head of the table.

Little Cousin Annabelle who was expelled from school for being too good a speller

Bratty Cousin Brophie who has two broken fingers

Dad Leonard who recently decided to be a vegan

Sister Shirley who flew in from LA

Sister-in-law Diane who just had her nose done

Sister Rachel who just had her boobs done

Brother-in-law Graby who insists on keeping a rifle at the table just like the Pilgrims

Mom who is mostly responsible for teaching Annabelle her spelling

Cousin Ralphie who no one can stand but he's such a good swimmer that everyone tolerates him

Papa Lou who begins every Thanksgiving dinner by reading from the Magna Carta

Daisy, sister Rachel's bff who has a super case of the hots

Okay. I think that covers it and, as always, be sure to whip cranberry sauce at the oldest person at your table and don't blame us if anyone gets sad or hurt.

Thanks so much.

Who has been nominated for the most oscars for acting? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Matthew Stafford.

Have the best Thanksgiving ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-25T07:59:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Here are a couple important thoughts to consider at your dinner tomorrow night...

Do you think dentists always had hygienists to do all the hard work?
Could it be that we're always working on our hair? It should be as involuntary as breathing.
Why do they have flaming cheese and not flaming anything else?

I think that covers it and please have the ninth best day before Thanksgiving ever.

Which NFL Quarterback holds the record for number of touchdowns scored in a single game? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Don Quixote.

Have a very good rest of your Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-24T07:53:00.001-05:00

I'm considering changing the Daily Remark to a rolling update about how close I am to getting the Swine. So far, I'm relatively healthy. They're predicting the Swine hits me no later than this coming Thursday.

Okay. That's all and more to come tomorrow.

What is considered the first modern novel? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was soccer.

Have a good Tuesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-23T07:47:00.002-05:00

I suggest the dark red Starburst tastes a little more waxy than the other colors. According to a made up expert "The dark red Starburst was originally designed to also work as a crayon or eraser for robots."

Pretty sure he meant Crayon for human people and eraser strictly for robots as opposed to robots and humans, but no one can say for sure.

Okay. Thanks for having me today.

What sport have the most spectators died watching? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was the Home Insurance Building in Chicago.

Have a terrible Monday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-22T10:59:00.001-05:00

I've been coming to this circle for about five years, and measuring it. The diameter and the circumference are constantly changing, but the radius stays the same. Which brings me to the number 5. There are five letters in the word Blaine. Now, if you mix up the letters in the word Blaine, mix 'em around, eventually, you'll come up with Nebali. Nebali. The name of a planet in a galaxy way, way, way... way far away. And another thing. Once you go into that circle, the weather never changes. It is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain.
- UFO Expert, Waiting for Guffman

What was the name of the first official skyscraper in the US? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was 15,000 BC.

Have a decent Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-21T08:23:00.001-05:00

Ordeno meus cappuccinos muito seco. É o único tempo eu já uso a palavra Muito.

Não sei que qualquer frangos nomearam Louie mas sou certo existem.

Às vezes eu gosto de fingir que meninas bonitas gostam de mim.

Eu normalmente siento-me como esfregações de médico de uso em toda parte de modo que as pessoas me respeitem mas eu nunca realmente o faço.

Estou tão pesaroso se tomou o tempo de traduzir este e realmente teve que ler o que eu acabo de escrever.

In what year was it believed that humans migrated over the Bering Straights - 5,000 BC, 12,000 BC or 15,000 BC? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Rome.

Have a great Saturday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-20T08:33:00.007-05:00

Someone sent me an ascot in the mail as a present. Brilliant and thank you, but I don't know who did it. Can someone please give me a heads up so I can thank you properly? I'm thinking a proper thank you includes some sort of dance or maybe a picture of a piece of tape.

The Pantheon is located in what city? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was the Spanish-American war.

Have a very good Friday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-19T08:01:00.004-05:00

I decided to have ice cream for breakfast this morning. Cookies and Cream mixed with Vanilla Bean, Vanilla Yogurt and Granola. There's no better way to start the day.

Also, I saw a bug in my house this morning. It was some sort of small beetle. I said 'hi bug' and then moved on.

Who? No, I mean Who Cares.

Thank you for your time today.

The USS Maine was blown up to begin what war? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Van Ryn.

Have a great Thursday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-18T08:55:00.002-05:00

The person sitting next to me at dinner last night coughed no less than nine thousand times. I'm for sure getting the swine.

What was Rembrandt's last name? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was grapes.

Have a decent Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-17T07:51:00.003-05:00

I've never seen Tombstone or Requiem for a Dream.

I've never been to the Grand Canyon but I have been to Vegas lots of times and I've seen the Grand Canyon on the Internet.

Lastly, tonight we're recommending that you spend as much time as possible drawing pictures of people you’d like to meet who are either dead or not alive anymore.

What is the world's largest food crop in terms of weight? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was West Point.

Have a great Tuesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-16T07:49:00.002-05:00

Today they're recommending that you style your hair exactly like Thomas Jefferson's. If you've already done your hair please start over and do it again.

On this date in 1914 the Fed opened. I know nothing about the Fed. If you know something about the Fed we recommend throwing some sort of anniversary party with two friends and four enemies. Try to make the party awful though.

Sorry about this remark.

What University was Edgar Allen Poe expelled from? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Monroe.

Have a great Monday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-15T08:20:00.002-05:00

I was crazy, you know that, Pony? I was crazy for wanting Johnny to stay out of trouble. If he was smart, like me, he wouldn't be in this mess. If he was smart like me, he wouldn't have ran into that church man. You better wise up Pony. You better wise up man. You get TOUGH like me and you don't get hurt! You watch out for yourself, and nothing can touch you man!

-Dallas, The Outsiders

Which President has the most cities named after him? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Monroe.

Have a terrific Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-14T09:10:00.003-05:00

I got coffee yesterday afternoon and the girl in line at the coffee shop in front of me was the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Here's a quick play about what happened...

Fade Into Starbucks...

Me: You have the most insane eyes I've ever seen.

Pretty: What do you mean?

Me: You couldn't be any prettier.

Pretty: Thank you.

Fade out.

I’m fairly certain she liked me a lot and probably wanted to kiss but I fear rejection way too much to have taken it any further.

Thank you for your time.

Who is the only President aside from George Washington to run for office unopposed? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was The Panama Canal and The Brooklyn Bridge.

Have a terrible Saturday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-13T07:58:00.001-05:00

I was going to say how scary everything was today, but that seems way too obvious so I'm going to talk about not talking about it instead. Less importantly, I completely forgot that every penguin eats lentils for Thanksgiving and failed to get in decent shape for putting it all together. Fortunately, there's a fifty percent chance the penguins don't even show up for dinner so everything will probably be just fine.

What two man made landmarks influenced the height and width of American Battleships? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was The Salvation Army.

Have a decent Friday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-12T07:42:00.002-05:00

I don't know why everyone thinks you need to drop your photographs in water to make 'em look cool. I humbly suggest it makes 'em different, but not necessarily cool.

When I wear a hat I look like a buggish version of Rutherford B Hayes.

This is a bullet point designed specifically for babies.

What organization's motto is "blood and fire?" Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was March.

Have an alright Thursday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
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2009-11-11T07:41:00.002-05:00

Apparently there are nineteen people coming to the convention tomorrow. The better news is that each one of 'em will be bringing a picture of a lobster dressed up as their favorite president. Not the lobster's favorite president, the person's favorite president. If you happen to be one of the people coming to the convention don't worry about wearing an ascot. That's not to say don't worry about it... what we really mean is that whether you choose to wear an ascot or not it's no big deal.

Prior to the Romans, what month did the peeps celebrate the New Year? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an important auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was C-T-R.

Have a decent rest of your Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-10T07:48:00.003-05:00

This is the first Guest Daily Remark since the summer of 1973. Needless to say, we're super excited about it. The remark comes from Davis in Charleston and I think he may be onto something. Could Davis be a girl and not a boy? I shouldn't be so presumptuous. Here we go...

I think we should all wash our hands before going to the bathroom and not afterwards. Actually, around family we should wash before and afterwards. Around friends and acquaintances, just before.

Okay. That's all.

What was IBM called before it was called IBM? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was the steel industry.

Have an ok Tuesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-09T07:53:00.002-05:00

Emergency - I'm thinking we should have a shower head that mixes the soap and the water. Please feel free to steal this idea.

What industry introduced the 5-day, 40-hour work week? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was The Coast Guard Academy in 1976.

Have a good Monday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-08T08:40:00.002-05:00

Osbourne Cox: If you ever carried out your proposed threat you would experience such a shitstorm of consequences my friend your empty little head would be spinning faster than the wheels of your Schwinn bicycle back there.
Chad Feldheimer: Y-you think that's a Schwinn?

-Burn After Reading

What branch of the US Armed Forces Academy was the first to admit women? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Alaska.

Have a decent Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-07T06:27:00.002-05:00

I'm trying to come up with a new obsession. I'm thinking doing one of the following:

Eating only raw food

Doing one of those 50 mile trail marathons

Getting rid of my blackberry and talking about it constantly

I think that covers it.

Thanks for having me.

What US State has the highest income per capita? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Toronto.

Have a fantastic Saturday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
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2009-11-06T07:44:00.002-05:00

I just learned that everyone in the world will be required to eat seventeen pieces of cheese over the course of this coming weekend. I can eat cheese but I don't like it. In fact, I rip the cheese off my pizza. Also, what about all the people who can't eat cheese because they're lactose or something like that? This is insane.

What is the only Major League stadium to have a hotel attached to it? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Frederick Cook.

Have a wonderful Friday and they rarely say wonderful.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
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2009-11-05T08:30:00.001-05:00

Emergency... someone told me that someone else told them they thought I was cute. Even if they're lying it's still good to know. In fact, everyone should look to someone today to tell 'em they're really good looking.

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

-Derek Zoolander

Thank you for having me today and please assume this remark is one long bullet point and not three.

Who was the first human person to be credited as the first to reach the North Pole? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply of the best variety. Yesterday's answer was Lake Victoria.

Have a good Thursday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
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2009-11-04T07:53:00.001-05:00

The Miami, Florida Daily Remark Club was just shut down due to lack of interest.

What is the source of the Nile? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Minnesota.

Have a decent Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-03T07:46:00.002-05:00

Looking forward to watching this on HBO tonight. Click here if you're bored. Decent chance my cable goes out.

I played Scrabble against a human person last night who had a great vocabulary but she didn't know the game at all. I beat her by a thousand points and it wasn't even fun.

This is not a sanctioned bullet point.

Neither is this one.

What was the first team to win the National Championship for college football? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Taiwan.

Have a pretty good Tuesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-02T07:39:00.002-05:00

This is the note I wrote to myself that I was going to use to come up with the remark for today. I can't recall what the note means at all.

Pet Peeve...laundry.

Please feel free to use this as your own remark today. Probably appropriate for you to Tweet too.

What Asian country used to be called Formosa? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Twilight.

Have a decent Monday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-11-01T08:42:00.002-05:00

Dr. Squires: Certain people you just can't trust, you know Luke?
Dr. Squires: Never trust anyone who doesn't smoke pot or listen to Dylan.
Dr. Squires: Never trust anyone who doesn't like the beach.
Dr. Squires: Never, EVER, EVER trust anyone who says they don't like dogs!
Dr. Squires: You meet someone who doesn't like dogs you alert the authorities IMMEDIATELY and you sure as SHIT don't MARRY THEM!

-Dr. Squires, The Wackness

What was the best selling book of 2008? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was France.

Have a decent Sunday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-10-31T09:01:00.002-04:00

Sometimes it's good to write something simply to take up space. Dare I say, taking up space is especially important on Halloween. Happiest.

According to my people, what country is number one in terms of tourism? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply including quotes from movies that most people thought were scary. Yesterday's answer was twelve.

Have the best Halloween ever.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-10-30T08:36:00.002-04:00

I find that if you know the Globe Theater, you read Hamlet and Macbeth and you saw Shakespeare in Love at least twice you can answer any Trivial Pursuit question about Shakespeare correctly and everyone will like you better because of it. Please note that I recommend never listening to me about anything.

Almost Halloween. So scary.

Number Three.

According to my people, how many Masters winners won in a playoff? 2, 8 or 12? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was San Francisco.

Have a terrific Friday and they rarely say terrific.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

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2009-10-29T07:46:00.002-04:00

I'm going to some sort of Halloween party tonight. There'll be all sorts of acquaintances and people you say 'how's everything going' to when you don't mean it and don't even listen to the answer. I just decided I'm not going to say that to anyone ever again unless I really mean it. If anyone asks me how I'm doing, I'm going to say I'm horrible and see if anyone notices.

I think this may be the most uplifting remark of all times.

In what US city was the UN Charter adopted? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Triton.

Have a great Thursday.

Love the Madness.
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Check out the supes cool Moosejaw photo wall below, or skip on over to the Moosejaw.com Photo Wall to learn more about the incredibly complicated and frustrating task of uploading your own Moosejaw pic. Just kidding, it's really easy to do, and we'll even give you a plethora of Rewards Points for doing so.

2009-10-28T08:01:00.002-04:00

Hollow Bullet Point Five.

Everyone is coughing into inside of the elbows. I humbly suggest that everyone cough into the outside of their elbows instead. Needless to say, this is important.

Hollow Bullet Point Three.

Hollow Bullet Point Two.

Hollow Bullet Point One.

In Greek Mythology, who was Poseidon's son? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Queen Isabella.

Have a great Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
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Check out the supes cool Moosejaw photo wall below, or skip on over to the Moosejaw.com Photo Wall to learn more about the incredibly complicated and frustrating task of uploading your own Moosejaw pic. Just kidding, it's really easy to do, and we'll even give you a plethora of Rewards Points for doing so.

2009-10-27T07:09:00.003-04:00

The point thing couldn't have gone better yesterday. Getting 100 Moosejaw Points to lots of people was certainly great. But, to me, the best part of the day was just getting a little bit closer to everyone. Could there be too much love out there right now?

Who was the first woman put on a US stamp? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Canada.

Have a very good Tuesday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
Moosejaw.com

Check out the supes cool Moosejaw photo wall below, or skip on over to the Moosejaw.com Photo Wall to learn more about the incredibly complicated and frustrating task of uploading your own Moosejaw pic. Just kidding, it's really easy to do, and we'll even give you a plethora of Rewards Points for doing so.

2009-10-26T07:42:00.003-04:00

If you have nothing to do and want 100 Moosejaw Points please click here to add your points. Pretend the link is a stapler. Please tell all your friends and enemies to do it too. Just 100 points per human person. Okay. Thanks.

What country does the US export the most oil from? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Taylor Swift.

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2009-10-25T08:36:00.000-04:00

Uh, I don't know, I don't know. Um, it's a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It's uh, it's thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It's, you know, it's not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it's neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot's potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they're just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and... ancient on the planet.

- Miles Raymond, Sideways

Who was the top selling musical artist of 2008? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Mercury and Venus.

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2009-10-24T08:30:00.001-04:00

It's so close to Halloween. I can barely stand it. Here are a few dress up ideas to consider...

Dress up as a calculator, tape, lip balm, hat, envelope, plastic bag, water bottle, glasses, rubber band, baseball or couscous.

Coincidentally that list happens to represent everything on my desk right now.

Okay. Thanks.

What two planets in our solar system don't have moons? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Moscow.

Have a decent Saturday.

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2009-10-23T07:43:00.002-04:00

I watched Marley and Me and The Wackness last night. I tolerated Marley and Me for about ten seconds and it may be the worst movie ever. The Wackness was really good. That's all. Thanks for having me today and sorry for being so mean to Jennifer Aniston. She'd probably like me if she knew me and I was better looking and had a better personality.

According to my people, what world city was ranked as the most expensive in 2008? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Germany.

Have a fantastic Friday.

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2009-10-22T08:21:00.001-04:00

Someone emailed Moosejaw yesterday from Esquire Magazine and said she loved the Daily Remark and wanted to interview me for a story. Needless to say, I got super excited and did an interview that lasted about twenty minutes. Turns out it was someone at Moosejaw interviewing me from a conference room with about seven people around laughing. It was the girl's (who interviewed me) first day working at Moosejaw. She did a really good job. That's all.

In what country was the bicycle invented? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was the Battle of Waterloo.

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2009-10-21T07:36:00.001-04:00

If everyone was a balloon then no one would be a chipmunk but I don't think that's going to happen. So, I humbly suggest we carry our keyboards above our heads and don't use our phones for the next twelve minutes. Then, everyone can yell something about being great in a world marked by too many penguins and too few numbers.

What was the last battle of the Napoleonic Wars? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was 32.

Have a better than average Wednesday.

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2009-10-20T07:38:00.001-04:00

Well, my yogurt experiment turned out terrible. I checked it out the moment I got home last night and it was way too frozen... more like a popsicle than ice cream, and when I let it melt a little it looked too horrible to actually eat. So, today I'm working on putting my clothes in the oven to dry 'em instead of the dryer. That's not true but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

How many teeth does the average human have? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was the Maya.

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2009-10-19T07:44:00.001-04:00

I put my normal yogurt that goes in the fridge in the freezer. I'm basically making my own frozen yogurt and I can't figure out why I hadn't done it years ago. I suggest this is the most interesting and important experiment ever.

What ancient civilization made it's home on the Yucatan Peninsula? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Billy Smith.

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2009-10-18T09:44:00.000-04:00

What is she doing back there? I never know what she's doing.

– Chazz, Wedding Crashers

Who was the first NHL goalie to score a goal? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Kazakhstan.

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2009-10-17T10:00:00.002-04:00

I had two veggie burgers and rice for breakfast this morning and I'm going to try to eat sixteen pop tarts before bed tonight.

Lions like eating pop tarts better than eating cranberry sauce.

I prefer the non-fat pop tarts to regular pop tarts and not because they're low fat. They actually taste better.

If you have a chance to create a bullet point today please be sure to include something about pop tarts.

This bullet has something about pop tarts too.

What is the largest landlocked country in the world? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was eleven.

Have a very good Saturday.

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2009-10-16T09:27:00.001-04:00

Today we're recommending that you take every pair of pants you own and cut them into shorts. Then, take all the pant legs and reattach them all to different pants. That's all.

How many schools are part of the Big Ten? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was 6%.

Have a decent Friday. Very decent.

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2009-10-15T09:01:00.001-04:00

Someone told me it's healthy to change obsessions and my guess is that you've noticed little talk about taking out the garbage in recent remarks. Well, I decided to forget the garbage and pour all my energy into testing new cereals. It didn't work. Now I'm deciding whether I go back to the garbage, start betting on sports like crazy, or become a professional bowler. Really, if I spent years practicing I think I could do it.

How much of the earth's land is suitable for growing crops? 1%, 6% or 11%? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was whiskey.

Have a decent Thursday.

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2009-10-14T08:48:00.001-04:00

I watched Casablanca last night. I watched it strictly so that I could talk about it and pretend to be smart. It wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be and I think I'm going to watch either RoadHouse or Best of the Best Part II next just to balance everything out. Okay... now I'm going to stop typing.

What product did the term "brand name" come from? Coffee, Tea or Whiskey? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Thomas Paine.

Have a fantastic Wednesday.

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2009-10-13T08:55:00.001-04:00

We've gotten an insane amount of positive feedback about the bug and ottoman remark from yesterday. Here are two quick comments...

Being a bug has been awful. I had no idea that all spiders had eight legs and I feel like I've messed up everything.

I wanted to be a leather ottoman but they made me go all vegan. This is the worst.

I think that covers it for today and thanks so much for coming out.

Who named the US? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was 119.

Have a pretty good Tuesday.

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2009-10-12T08:49:00.002-04:00

It'll be super fun to pretend you're either a bug or ottoman today. But, please keep in mind that if you're a bug, you don't need to be really fancy. On the other hand, if you're an ottoman, pretend you're sitting in Versailles. Okay. That's all.

How many grooves are there on the edge of a quarter? 119, 129 or 149? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Wrigley Field.

Have a decent Monday.

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2009-10-11T09:18:00.002-04:00

Casey Schuler: I hate this bug.
Colonel Sam Daniels: Oh, come on, Casey. You have to admire its simplicity. It's one billionth our size and it's beating us.

-Outbreak

What baseball stadium's nickname is The Friendly Confines? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Gary Oldman.

Have a decent Sunday.

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2009-10-10T08:58:00.001-04:00

When I was a baby everyone called me Mr. Awesome. I thought it was a little ridiculous so I requested that everyone call me Baby Awesome instead. Well, it turns out there was another Baby Awesome in the neighborhood so everyone started calling me BA. That later turned into calling me BAAA and now everyone just calls me Sheep or Sheeper. Like, Hey Sheeper... want a jolly rancher?

Who played Sid Vicious in the movie Sid and Nancy? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Kuala Lampur, Malaysia.

Have a decent Saturday and I didn't even mention the Michigan Game.

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2009-10-09T09:06:00.001-04:00

On this date in 1919, the Reds won the World Series. They only sort of won because this was the year of the Black Sox scandal. Well, we're suggesting that everyone commemorate the anniversary by offering some bologna or a stapler to a stranger. Needless to say, this is important.

Where are the Petronas Towers located? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was KLM.

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2009-10-08T09:27:00.001-04:00

We're doing this thing yet again. I think it's our third time and we're improving the prize. First person in the world to somehow email me proof that it's your birthday today gets two Free Moosejaw Hoodies. One for you and one for someone you want to kiss. As soon as someone wins I'll send a email about it.

What is the world's oldest airline? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was nine.

Have an amazing Thursday.

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2009-10-07T09:01:00.002-04:00

I was super close to seeing the movie The Baader Meinhof Complex by myself last night. I actually went to the theater, parked, and while I was approaching the ticket window place thing I thought that I didn’t feel like seeing a movie by myself anymore so I turned around and came home. But, in a three minute span I went back and forth on the decision nine thousand times and really ended up dealing with some of my own most significant psychological issues. Why am I telling you all this... Simply to fill up space in all of our lives. Thanks so much for having me today.

Including last night, how many one game playoffs have there been in Major League history? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was New Hampshire.

Have an alright Wednesday.

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2009-10-06T08:38:00.003-04:00

Someone emailed this to me and said that I had posted it as a remark before and asked if I would post it again. I searched the entire remark file and found nothing, but I’m posting it again anyway. I can’t confirm whether any of it is true or not, but I can confirm that I’m using square bullet points for the first time ever. Okay. That’s all.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'

Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Which US State has the shortest amount of coastline? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was 6 billion.

Have a great Tuesday.

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2009-10-05T08:58:00.001-04:00

In Style Magazine once listed Moosejaw.com as the best site that no one knows about. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment but I’m certainly taking it that way. I feel the same way when people say I’m shorter than they thought I’d be.

Another time Allure Magazine listed Moosejaw as one of the best gear shops in the world.

And yet another time someone told me they thought I looked like Vince from Entourage.

I made up bullet point three but it would be nice if someone said that to me once.

Also, I’m not positive bullet point one is true but I think it is.

A light year is equal to how many miles? 6 million, 6 billion or 6 trillion? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Yellowstone.

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2009-10-04T09:46:00.001-04:00

What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

-Rob, High Fidelity

What was the first National Park in the US? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Isle Royale.

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2009-10-03T08:46:00.001-04:00

We had dress up as a movie person one day at Moosejaw back in the day. I dressed up as Ben Stiller from the Royal Tenenbaums. I had the perfect bright red sweatsuit. I’m not working today but I’ve decided to wear the sweatsuit. Must be a total cry for help. I don’t really care to know what’s wrong with me.

What’s the largest freshwater island in the lower 48? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Freaks and Geeks.

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2009-10-02T08:37:00.001-04:00

I think I broke my finger and I’m getting no attention because of it at all. I’m going to put on a splint and see if that works.

Don’t you think they could figure out how to make it rain? Drop some sort of something or other into some clouds or something like that. It’s for sure a conspiracy of some sort.

Do you think Heidi Klum flies private or commercial?

Please don’t answer the previous two questions but think about ‘em as much as possible today and over the weekend.

That’s all.

What forner TV show took place at William McKinley High School? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Al Rosen.

Have a terrible Friday.

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2009-10-01T09:00:00.001-04:00

I’m going to dinner with a friend and a stranger tomorrow night. Total disaster and I think my friend invited the stranger just to spite me, which I find respectable. 60% chance I cancel and I’d appreciate it if you cancel your plans too so that we’re all sitting at home doing nothing. Okay. Thanks.

Who led the American League in home runs in 1953? This question comes from Dino. Thanks, Dino. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was eight.

Have a great Thursday.

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2009-09-30T08:40:00.001-04:00

Emergency...I'm done betting. I went 1-8 over the weekend and then lost on a baseball game last night. So, you'd think I'd be good at picking a loser but I picked the 49'ers in week one of my NFL suicide pool and they won which means that I lost and got eliminated for the season.

This Bullet Point is to be ignored.

How many states border Tennessee? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Beloved.

Have a fantastic Wednesday. Really.

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2009-09-29T09:17:00.001-04:00

I’ve never read a comic book. I’m going to discuss it with my analyst because I’m guessing it has a lot to do with why I’m so insecure. It probably also relates to my love of mimes and my distaste for any food that’s traditionally served on a plate as opposed to a bowl. Okay. That’s all.

What Toni Morrison novel did Oprah make into a movie in 1998? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was The Skipper from Gilligan’s Island.

Have the best Tuesday ever.

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2009-09-28T08:58:00.001-04:00

There is nothing in the world more difficult than not being able to talk about The Girl in the remark. It’s almost worth not being back together with her. We could be over simply because of this post but I’m going to risk it.

Whose real name is Jonas Grumby? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was the Philippines.

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2009-09-27T09:37:00.001-04:00

You wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor International. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? – Fight Club.

What islands did Japan attack the day after Pearl Harbor? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Washington.

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2009-09-26T08:50:00.002-04:00

My advice for today is to watch a bunch of TV series and get dumber because of it. Please be sure to listen especially close to the laugh tracks which typically ruin the show and everything else in the world too. Okay, now I feel bad about saying all this so please ignore me.

Who was president when the first Farmer’s Almanac was published? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Sacramento.

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2009-09-25T09:18:00.001-04:00

Today, they’re recommending that everyone give at least four strangers a signed self-portrait. Apparently, this will teach a wonderful lesson in humility in a world marked by too many letters in the alphabet.

What City did the Pony Express end in? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Nadia Comeneci.

Have an amazing Friday.

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2009-09-24T08:58:00.002-04:00

I saw someone wearing the best non-Moosejaw tee shirt ever yesterday. Click here to check it out. Or don’t.

If you don’t know what movie it’s from, please ask someone that is smarter than you or look three bullet points down.

Bullet Point

Old School

Thanks for coming out today and I love everyone.

Who was the first Olympic gymnast to score a perfect ten at the Olympics? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Alaska.

Have a terrific Thursday and they rarely say terrific.

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2009-09-23T09:05:00.001-04:00

I've seen the northern lights a couple of times and I thought I'd always want to see 'em again but now you can just look online.

I watched The View once when I was on the elliptical at the gym and Ms. Piggy was the guest.

I don't think I know anyone named Ron and I've never been to the San Diego Zoo.

Most people believe there's little reason to leave the house anymore.

None of these are sanctioned bullet points.

ssb

What US state is most prone to earthquakes? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Rage Against the Machine.

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2009-09-22T10:32:00.000-04:00

I just learned that on this date in 1802 everyone in the newly formed United States decided to wear a bathing suit and some sort of hat. So, to honor that great day I've decided to pretend I'm a college professor preparing for class . Thus far, I've created a wonderful project designed to teach the value of knowing cursive in a world where no one uses it.

What band is playing in the office right now? Rage Against the Machine, Styx or Poison? This could be the hardest question I’ve ever asked. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was 30.

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2009-09-21T17:40:00.000-04:00

I recommend never believing anything anyone says, especially this.

Approximately how many time zones are there in the world? 10, 20 or 30? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday's answer was Al Kaline.

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2009-09-18T08:00:00.001-04:00

As always, September 18th is the day to start thinking about Thanksgiving. The goal is to do everything possible to be responsible for nothing that day so that when you randomly think about Thanksgiving anytime between now and November 26th your day won’t be completely ruined. Please note that they said the moment is fleeting and it’s important to spend all your time worrying about the past and the future. The Thanksgiving thing is just one important example. I’m going to stop typing now.

How many home games does Michigan have this football season? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was the Chicago World’s Fair.

Have a terrible Friday.

Love the Madness.
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2009-09-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

I lost my iPod. I lose it about once a month. If anyone finds a grey Nano with a one playlist called Light Love and another called Running with a lot of Barry Manillow on it please let me know. Okay, thanks so much and ssb.

The Ferris Wheel was invented for what event? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Long Island.

Have a decent Thursday.

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2009-09-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

Hopefully, everyone enjoyed spending yesterday pretending it was a Thursday in medieval times. Today, please spend every moment thinking about what you could have done better yesterday. They said it’s important to live with all sorts of regret and misgivings.

What’s the largest island in the continental US? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was the aspen.

Have a great Wednesday.

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2009-09-15T08:00:00.000-04:00

Please pretend that today is Thursday instead of Tuesday. But, pretend it’s a Thursday in some sort of medieval time and instead of being some sort of feudal lord be a plain old serf. I bet it’s great.

What tree has the most extensive root system? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was a murder.

Have a fantastic Tuesday and they rarely say fantastic.

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2009-09-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

I spent the entire weekend teaching a group of ants how to type efficiently on a normal computer keyboard as well as a Blackberry or iPhone. You see, most insects do a great job typing on a computer but they’re completely lost when it comes to their phone. Just my way of giving back a little.

A group of crows is called a what? Email your answer Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Indonesia.

Have a good Monday.

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2009-09-13T08:00:00.001-04:00

You're a quarterback! You know what that means? It's the top spot, kid. It's the guy who takes the fall. It's the guy everybody's looking at first - the leader of a team - who will support you when they understand you. Who will break their ribs and their noses and their necks for you, because they believe. 'Cause you make them believe. That's a quarterback. – Tony D’Amato, Any Given Sunday

What is the largest archipelago in the world? Email your answer Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was the Lake Ponchartrain Causeway.

Have a great Sunday.

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2009-09-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

Michigan-Notre Dame today. Gets no better so let’s leave it at that.

What’s the longest bridge in the US? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was License to Drive.

Have a decent Saturday. Go Blue.

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2009-09-09T12:29:00.000-04:00

Emergency. Today is Jeff Z’s birthday. Happiest Birthday ever. If you know Jeff please absolutely don’t get him a card. Get something tangible. Some suggestions are:

Founding Father’s Wig
Drawing a movie theater
Staple remover
Dinner for him and Lindsey at Honkey’s Rooftop Snake Bistro
Six different gravy recipes

Thank you for your time.

What are the only two states that don’t practice daylight savings time? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Lake Maracaibo.

Have a terrible Wednesday.

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2009-09-06T08:00:00.000-04:00

So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand it
-Marge Gunderson, Fargo

What was the first Rock and Roll song to hit #1 on the charts? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was the cornea.

Have a good Sunday.

Love the Madness.
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2009-09-05T08:00:00.000-04:00

Last night was the best night of my life and it’s the first Michigan game of the year today. Gets no better. Considering my entire life has changed in the past few days and everything is great I hope I don’t die anytime too soon.

What is the only part of the body that has no blood supply? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was The Titanic.

Have a good Saturday. Go Blue.

Love the Madness.
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2009-09-04T08:00:00.000-04:00

Going out with the girl from Wednesday night tonight. We’re either watching the Tigers game or renting Frost/Nixon which I’ve never seen so I’ve be reading endlessly about Nixon today so I can pretend to be smart. As far as I know, new girl doesn’t know about the Daily Remark. More to come and thanks for having me and let’s not all get too excited just yet considering almost everything in the world isn’t that good except for cookies and cream ice cream and Michigan football which starts tomorrow and is going to be good again.

What was the first ship to use the SOS signal? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was 1890.

Have a terrible Friday.

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2009-09-03T08:00:00.000-04:00

The dinner I went to last night was good enough that it can’t be discussed. The music at the restaurant we went to was so loud we could barely hear each other which turned out to be good for me. More to come as soon as I’m fully rejected for having poofy hair or something like that. Two days till the first Michigan game.

When was the electric chair invented? 1860, 1890 or 1910? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Hawaii.

Have a great Thursday.

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2009-09-02T08:00:00.000-04:00

Emergency…I saw a girl I was friends with in high school last night. She just moved back to Michigan and I’m going to dinner with her tonight. Please tell no one. More to come tomorrow.

What is the only US State that grows coffee? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was May.

Have a fantastic Wednesday.

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2009-09-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

I can’t stand it when people tell me about their dreams. I never remember my dreams which I think means that I’m repressed, depressed, insecure and too short. I remember what my dream was last night. It was one of those times when you wake in the middle of the night and you’re in the midst of a great dream and hope you can get back into it but it doesn’t work. I’m not going to tell anymore about it though. Okay. Thanks.

What is the month that an earthquake is most likely to occur- May, June or July? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was 293.

Have a decent Tuesday.

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2009-08-31T08:00:00.000-04:00

I went for a long run with my brother’s friend yesterday. Long runs are dumb. The friend has two kids. They’re boys and one is four and one is two. When I walked in the house both of the kids started hitting me and everyone just laughed. I wasn’t sure what to do so I gave both kids some of the Gu energy stuff I had with me and then my friend’s wife got really mad at me and wasn’t joking and asked me if I was crazy and told me to leave her house.

The Gu part of the story is made up but the rest of the story is true . The story would have been really, really boring without the Gu part.

Section Three.

How many ways are there to make change for a dollar? 293, 346 or 419? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was hydrogen.

Have a better than average Monday.

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2009-08-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?
-Jason Bourne, The Bourne Identity

What element makes up 70% of the sun? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for three quotes from other Matt Damon movies. Yesterday’s answer was seaweed.

Have a terrible Sunday.

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2009-08-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

I am picking up a girl that I kissed about ten years ago at the airport today. If I don’t kiss her tonight it’ll be a total waste of a trip. She doesn’t read the Daily Remark. If any of her friends are reading this please don’t tell her I said all this.

Agar-Agar is also known as what? This could be the hardest question ever. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Colorado.

Have a decent Saturday.

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2009-08-28T08:00:00.001-04:00

The Girl called me last night. It was the first time I’ve talked to her in probably two months. She called to tell me that she saw a psychic and the psychic said all sorts of great stuff about me. I can’t stand everyone.

What US State has the most days of sunshine- California, Florida or Colorado? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was a shark.

Have a great Friday.

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2009-08-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

I’m meeting a penguin named Rodo for dinner this evening. I’ve already requested that Rodo not bring any friends, that he wear red shoes and that neither of us shall eat anything that begins with the letter T. Am I being too demanding? Perhaps... but that’s what happens when you like office supplies so much.

What is the only fish that can blink with both eyes? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was fencing.

Have a terrible Thursday.

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2009-08-26T08:00:00.001-04:00

I’m going out of town this coming Monday and I’m leaving pretty early in the morning. So, I think I’ll take the garbage out Sunday night. I’ll have to find someone to bring the garbage in on Tuesday. I’m thinking about turning it into some sort of contest. Think about what an honor it would be to win. Or maybe I’ll just throw it out to ten friends and the person that gets to my house first after the garbage people take the garbage will get to bring the empty cans back to the house. Needless to say, this is super exciting.

What was Neil Diamond’s scholarship for while attending NYU? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was South Dakota.

Have a fantastic Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
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2009-08-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

I got pulled over yesterday and I wasn’t wearing a shirt. When the policeman came to my window and asked why I thought I got pulled over I said because I wasn’t wearing a shirt. The policeman didn’t like me and gave me a ticket for going ten over. I think getting the ticket is a really good sign and that I’m going to have the best week ever because of it. You probably will too.

Where did the Battle of Wounded Knee take place? When I say where, I mean what US state. Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Taft.

Have a good Tuesday.

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2009-08-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

I used to be able to spend so much time talking about me and The Girl. Then, I spent so much time talking about me not being with The Girl and other girls. Now, I pretty much have nothing. The upside is that I have nothing. Okay. That’s all.

Which US President is credited with starting baseball's seventh inning stretch? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Venus.

Have a great Monday.

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2009-08-23T08:00:00.000-04:00

Stu Price: We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?
Alan Garner: I think the cop car part's pretty cool.
-The Hangover

What is the only planet that rotates clockwise? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was San Jose.

Have a terrible Sunday.

Love the Madness.
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2009-08-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

I ate an entire carton of vanilla ice cream last night. I ate about three quarters of it without realizing it and then decided to finish it just so I could mention it here. The things I do for a little attention. I will mention it to my analyst on Monday.

Which planet has the highest mountain in the solar system? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Lake Michigan.

Have a decent Saturday.

Love the Madness.
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2009-08-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

Eu nunca usei uma guarda-chuva antes.

Which planet has the highest mountain in the solar system? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was West Virginia’s New River Gorge.

Have a great Friday.

Love the Madness.
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2009-08-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

They asked me to say hi to the following people today. As far as I know I’ve never seen any of these people but I’m hoping to be listing them by height.

Bill N.
Peter D.
Jeff Z.
Brian A.
Warren M.
Angel G.

Where is the world's largest single arch bridge? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for three stories about bridges. Maybe four. Yesterday’s answer was 26.

Have an alright Thursday.

Love the Madness.
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2009-08-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

I’m going bowling tonight for the first time in at least five years. I predict I bowl an average of 159 and that I get in trouble with the bowling alley people one time. I think I’ll lose two bets against my friends and then win my money back in pool, then forget my hat at the bowling alley and not be able to sleep because the bowling alley closed and I have to wait till the next day to check on the hat. This is already bothering me so I think I’ll cancel the bowling and do nothing instead.

How many times did Thriller go platinum? 16, 26 or 36? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Wings.

Have a decent Wednesday.

Love the Madness.
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2009-08-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

I have nothing to say today. You probably shouldn’t either.

What movie won the first Academy Award for Best Picture? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was Sumeria.

Have the best Tuesday ever.

Love the Madness.
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2009-08-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

We have the fourteenth best contest ever this month. Please click here to check it out. Then try to spend a little bit of time considering the mouth piece I have to sleep with every night. Do I really need it for some medical reason or is it more like a security blanket? I’ll be discussing it with my analyst too so we can all compare notes.

Where was the first record of human written language found? Email your answer to Trapper@moosejaw.com for an auto-reply. Yesterday’s answer was JFK.

Have a decent Monday.

Love the Madness.
Trapper
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